I found out last week that my adult daughter is pregnant via social media. I'm heartbroken, because I found out via her fiancés family members websites. Everyone on her fiancés side apparently knows, but us, her parents and our family were unaware.

My daughter is an only child. She was homeschooled, and was always treated very well. When she turned 18 she moved away. She didn't talk or see me for three years. She finally came back into our lives, but more as a relative contacting us and visiting us only on major holidays.

Im truly baffled as to why my daughter hates me so much, as she has told her father she loves him, but can't stand me. I can honestly say that I have been a very good mother. I know the one thing she hates about me, is that I research things (ie. Her) online. I would never, but when I don't hear from her I worry, so I search. I told her if she would just stay in touch and communicate, that I wouldn't have to "research" to make sure she is okay. If I hadn't looked for her last week, I would have not found out that she is six months pregnant.

So now, I'm here wondering, "Why does my daughter hate me so much?" :(

In all probability, judging from your post, your daughter dislikes you because you can't cut the apron strings and finds you too controlling. If she was home schooled is an only child, then probably was glad to get out from under at 18 and lewd her own life, but now she has you monitoring her every move on probably every social site she is on! I would find that quite annoying and intimidating, also very creepy.

change your ways or you will lose her completely.

...

I feel for you! Maybe after she has a child she may change. I hope when my daughter gets pregnant she'll change her attitude towards me. She also seems to care about her daddy more than me. So, I too am learning to deal with my daughter who seems to be angry and rude and she always has an excuse for her behavior. I call her on it but she remains the same. I've learned that you teach people how to treat you and well as much as it hurts I stay away from her because if I don't I'm teaching her it's OK to mistreat me. It is sad to say but I/we, her father and I, have chosen to keep smiling. The hard part is we live right next door. Her husband and her stepson are a joy not to say I haven't had an argument with him but we don't hold grudges. They make it easier to be around her. I've decided to forgive her for my sake, accept that she is an unhappy person, accept that she is an adult with choices, accept that I am not responsible for her happiness, accept that I am not the cause of it either, not allow her to speak down to me or in a condescending manner nor be rude to me - I will be the mother and bring it to her attention each time in a Christian Godly was as I have before. I respect and love myself enough to do and expect the above. And thanks to all these comments I have been reading, I have become more bold and determined. I have also decided to spend my retirement money on me and what I want and if there is any money left after I am gone she is welcome to it. If I spend it all, then she'll have to care for me because she's an only child hehe she's stuck with me. She was always a good child until... yes... she turned 17 then young adult... aye... she has become selfish and self centered and no she didn't get everything she wanted. She had chores, earned her money, At 18 she went to college and paid her own way and worked. Bought her own house at 24. Yes her daddy spoiled her and mean mom was the disciplinarian. So I get the brunt of it all but I'm learning and I'm praying for her and praying that God will give me wisdom, direction and guidance. Thank you all because now I know I am not alone and I just need to be Mom and not be hurt and sad and to live life in the present moment AND not allow negative thoughts rumble in my head. I also need to detach. Being codependent is not good. I didn't allow her to sass talk me when she was little much less now. So keep me in prayer and I'll keep you all in prayer and let's begin by being good to ourselves. God Bless!