Ask Me Help Desk - Am I overreacting?

I feel like my boyfriend does not care about me. Whenever I hang out with my family I always invite him and he is constantly in my house and he knows my mother and my whole family. Every time I go out shopping I always think of him before myself and always think what to get for him. And I always make sure that he gets a ride home with me and my sister whenever he doesn't have a car. But anytime he is with his family I am never invited, and I mean his cousins and brothers are young so I can totally hang out with them. He never invites me and always says next time... We have been together for four years and he never introduced me to any of his family members... and today I just broke down because I was coming home and I live in New York. Trains weren't running so I had to take a dirty shuttle bus for about hour and a half, while he was driving home and could have picked me up and dropped me off home in 15 minutes. But he did not even offer to pick me up. So I spent 2 hours waiting for shuttle, then bus, then train when he could have saved me all that misery and on top of everything I had so many bags with me... I just feel like he doesn't give a damn and when I confronted him he played dumb.. as always.. So am I overreacting or he really does not care?

Tutsi, before trying to give you advice, I need some clarification on a discrepancy between your question today and one you asked approximately 13 months ago. Yes, I look at prior posts to get a better understanding of the complete picture.

The post from February 2013:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tutsi23

It's been almost a year since me and my fiancé broke up. I've accepted the idea that we won't be together. Throughout our relationship he put me through hell. Always lied to me. And mentally abused me for 3 months after we broke up. I haven't been seeing anyone every since him. I notice that I pushed everybody away. I lean on crutches when it comes to me or my personal feelings. I overload myself with school and work so much that I have no time to eat. I have no days off. I choose this life because I'm scared to be left alone with my emotions. I feel like people aren't worthy. They will hurt me. That's why I'm scared of any other relationship. I have fear of trusting people. I got pushed in into a very dark corner. And I can't let myself out of it.

The post from today:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tutsi23

I feel like my boyfriend does not care about me. Whenever I hang out with my family I always invite him and he is constantly in my house and he knows my mother and my whole family. Every time I go out shopping I always think of him before myself and always think what to get for him. And I always make sure that he gets a ride home with me and my sister whenever he doesn't have a car. But anytime he is with his family I am never invited, and I mean his cousins and brothers are young so I can totally hang out with them. He never invites me and always says next time... We have been together for four years and he never introduced me to any of his family members... and today I just broke down because I was coming home and I live in New York. Trains weren't running so I had to take a dirty shuttle bus for about hour and a half, while he was driving home and could have picked me up and dropped me off home in 15 minutes. But he did not even offer to pick me up. So I spent 2 hours waiting for shuttle, then bus, then train when he could have saved me all that misery and on top of everything I had so many bags with me... I just feel like he doesn't give a damn and when I confronted him he played dumb.. as always.. So am I overreacting or he really does not care?

If you have been with the current boyfriend for four years, then you started dating him in 2009/2010. In 2013, you been broken up with your boyfriend (and single) for almost a year, meaning you were dating him in 2011/2012. What is the true story?

We can't give accurate advice if we aren't given accurate information.

We started dating back in 2008, and then broke up for almost a year and got back together after, so it is 4 years we are together since I am not counting the year that we have been apart. No sense in saying 5 years since that year we were apart

A) You are unhappy with him.
B) You have tried to talk with him and he isn't interested.

I don't see anything but a lonely woman who is settling for misery with a man instead of being happy with herself, alone. I don't see anything about him that is the least bit endearing. WHY can't you be alone (among friends, family, co-workers, etc) instead of being with him? Can you answer that without saying one single thing about him, as a sort of exercise to see what's going on with you?

I would recommend dropping him like a hot rock and moving on with your life, but I am not certain you would accept that advice.

Why did you get back together after a year apart? After the way he treated you the first time you were together and after you broke up, what happened to cause you to give him another chance?