I have a 3 yr old daughter. I moved to Africa in 2009 when my ex got deported, things went sour so after a year I came back to the US unknowingly 2 months pregnant. He knows about her and kept in contact for only 1 year after she was born and has not ever helped me financially. He stopped calling us and disappeared after she turned 1. If he is ever allowed back into the US, what rights will he have over her? He is not on the birth records either. How can I diminish his parental rights? Will sole custody benefit me at all? Please help, thank you!

He would have to petition the court to establish paternity, then take additional steps if he wanted to establish parenting time or shared physical or legal (decision making) custody. You could petition for child support. But if he's absent now, and you like it that way, leave it alone. You can't diminish his rights. If you ever marry, you could petition the court to terminate his rights to make way for your husband to adopt the child. But parental rights and responsibilities aren't generally terminated except if the child is being placed for adoption. For now, it doesn't sound like you need to do anything.

He has the same rights as any father. He only needs to go to court to enforce those rights. You can do nothing to diminish those rights though you can probably limit them in the beginning because of his absence.

That's the risk you take when you choose to have sex with someone.