Hi - My son in law is rude, insecure, and controlling. We got him a cake for his 30th birthday and took evryone out to a nice brunch. Do I also have to send him a present, even though he is openly rude to us?

No one has to do anything they don't want to. If you don't want to give him a present, don't do it. Sadly that action may have repercussions since he's married to your daughter. So really it depends on you and how much you care about maintaining a relationship with your daughter, and your future grandchildren.

Sending a rude in law a present is up to you, but killing them with kindness is an option just in case your opinion of him is wrong. How long and how well do you know him?