I recently posted something about a 2year relationship that went
Sour and now I am left with a memory of a guy I thought I was going
To marry. I went through the motions and hurt and was that he was
There for me for my cancer surgeries. It was the timing, I had a lot
Of medical problems the past 2 years and we have both been either in
School or starting our careers in a long distant relationship. I
Hurt him but he hurt me. I know if God wanted us together then he
Will one day but he was my best friend.
I cross stitched this Angel and a house we were going to live in. It
Was my top secret projects I wanted to give him for Valentines but I
Felt like I had to beg him for me to see him during the week so that
I can surprise him with the gifts I made. He said was his Angel so
That is why I made the Angel and it took me 5 months to make both.
Well, I ended it but I tried to work it out a day or so later and
Drove up there to see him. He said he did not want to fight
Anymore. I really went up there to tell him about the cancer but the
Conversation we were already having when I was up there was bad
Enough.
So I went home and the next day I found it was definitely cancer and
How bad it was. All I thought was that I lost my best friend over
Being hormonal and medically challenged. I had my surgeries and I
Am now recovered. I am back to school and work and I made it through
Falcon Cheerleading trying outs. I did not expect everything to
Happen in 2-3 months like it has. I thought tryouts were at the end
Of April but because of so many people trying out I had to go 2
Weekends ago and now I am losing this weight to cheer again. He knew
My dreams and all I wanted to do was share it will him.
I know he will never understand or come back. I just wish I knew if
He really knew that I cared for him and that I know I made him cry
But he made me cry to.
What do I do? I mailed him his stuff and the 2 pictures and I
Applied for a grant for graduate school. I did way back when in
November. I applied for a lot of scholarships and a few asked me to
Write essays. Well one I wrote because I am pursuing a social
Studies masters degree was about him. They asked me about someone
That motivated you in the social studies teaching field and because
Of me he is getting $200 worth of history books and a 4 day trip to
DC. He will get all of this stuff on Friday once they mail it to
Him. I got the grant and I get to dance again and recover from my
Medical problems.
I am moving on and we said maybe one day, and who knows what will
Happen. I just miss my best friend... I really thought I was going to
Marry him.
