This is just a generic question where peoples input would be appreciated..
As a family, is it bad or unfair that the couple go on date nights alone twice a month, and every now and then a night away in a hotel or even a mini break away just as a couple?

I have many friends with kids, who do not quite get why we enjoy this, they say because we are a family now and should do everything together.

Thank you

Not only should they, but I wish all couples would do this.

The ones who do not understand why, may be the 60 percent who end in divorce.

Date nights, some motel nights out of the house is one of the best things you can do.

Keep it up, keep the spice in your marriage, and why are you telling anyone, this is intimate and special, keep it that way

There is no reason not to do this.

It may not be right for their family dynamic, but you have your own family dynamic. It sounds incredibly healthy to me. It is also something I did as well. I mean someone had to watch the dogs.

I agree!

There is no negative to time together as a couple. But the positives will strengthen your marriage.

It is so easy to get overwhelmed with life when there are children.

I too wish every married couple would do what you are doing.

Try and stop us from enjoying a bit of time together at your own peril. Kids are gone now but we still do our own thing together. Doesn't matter what others think.

Isn't it amazing how much time and energy people waste telling other people what they should or shouldn't do?

I sometimes then start to doubt myself and question perhaps I do enjoy my husbands company alone without kids and I feel bad

Then you are not properly enjoying the time. The time alone is to be spent caring for each other, not worry about the kids.

If you do not properly date, spend quality time alone, you become "mom" , he becomes "dad" and sex life soon suffers since you can not be loud. ( guess what fun sex should be loud at times)

There can not be private talking, or a romantic dinner.

Remember you and hubby have about 30 to 50 years of marriage together after the kids are gone. The kids may move to other nations, only see you on holidays, or by phone calls. The husband or wife is going to be there. ( or should be there) till one of you does a final breath.

I am not saying kids are not important, but do not forget the partner in the relationship.

No I think you misunderstood me or perhaps I didn't explain well, but I do certainly enjoy alone time with my man but when I have conversations with these friends who have kids and go nowhere without the kids , they look at me like I'm odd or bad.because she would tell me, when we go out to eat we always then the kids with us poor things to leave them behind, plus they end up sleeping in the pushchair so we would still sort of be alone

Then this is your problem, because you are letting busybodies get to you. STOP it. Be more sure of yourself. Think of ways to put an end to such conversations. "Each to their own" is the shortest one I know of.

You are right.. I am happy and it works for us, if we want to go out twice monthly alone, then so be it :)

Read this article. Best article I've read in a long time, and may help you out. I'd share it with your friends as well.

http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&...Rw3xzoR0yt6aeA

Brilliant article thanks I will share it :)