I live in North Carolina and my boyfriend is from West Virginia. We met here in NC and have been together almost 18 years and we have a 16 year old son. We lost our house and moved into a basement of a friends house and during the week of Christmas 2013, my sons father leaves without telling anyone and we all tried to contact him via his cell phone but to no avail... He was off work for the week of Christmas, so when the next Monday rolled around our friend upstairs calls me from work since the two work together and tells me he is at work. We've come to learn that he was living in a motel with his ex girlfriend that he had brought down from West Virginia. He left all of his possessions behind, but have willingly given him his clothes and grooming items. He has volunteered to pay child support which has drastically reduced from 150.00 a week to 80.00 a week over the past 4 weeks he's been paying. Does this fall under child abandonment and child neglect for when we were together and he would get home from work, for years he would have nothing to do with his son, he would drink alcohol and pass out on the xanax he was prescribed and sleep from the time he got home to the time he was to get up the next morning. I am disabled and have applied for disability but haven't heard anything yet concerning my application and the only income we have is what child support he is paying.. What category would this fall under and can I get him for abandonment and child neglect? Thanks.. Lisa from NC

Since it appears he is paying something and the relationship is over. You need to formalize things and go through the courts to have custody / visitation set as well as the proper child support amount.

Abandonment is not something you "get" someone for. Nor is neglect. But as the father of the child he owes support for that child. So if he's not paying support, then you go to court and have the court order support.

The first thing you need to do is get an order for support. Each state has their own formula for how much support is ordered. Once you have the child support order, if he does not pay for a period go back to court to have it enforced.

As far as how involved he was while you were still together, that is not abandonment or neglect. You might be able to use that behavior to get more limited visitation but being that the child is 16 years old already, I honestly don't know how much that will limit a visitation schedule if he asks for visitation. This is because by 16 the child isn't as dependent on parents for everything as when they are younger. When I was that age once a week I made dinner for the entire family by myself, went to bed when I decided, got up and ready for school myself, and maintained my honor roll status in high school. I was in no way neglected. I was (as my friends were as well) preparing for adulthood.

I agree, first it sounds like you should be glad he is gone. And you would have had to allow him his personal items anyway.

Child support needs to be awarded though the court.