My child is 3 1/2 and his father, who is aware of this child and where he lives, has never seen him nor paid any child support, which has been fine with me. The father said (when I was pregnant) that he wants nothing to do with me or the baby and he will sign anything to give up parental rights. I contacted an attorney at that time who said that a court will probably not allow a parent (we were both 19 at the time) to sign over parental rights at such a young age. I have since gotten engaged and my fiancé would like to adopt my son. My question is this: Do I need to contact the child's father about my fiancé adopting my son?

Yes.

The attorney gave you correct advice. The father has rights, whether he chooses to exercise them or not. That you have allowed him to escape paying child support is on you not him. Personally, I think you owed it to your child to get support, but that's not the question here.

The court will require that you let the father know about the adoption and submit proof that he was served with notice. If he chooses not to respond or ignore the summons, the court will probably still grant the adoption.

Most areas will require that you be married for a period before your new husband can petition for an adoption. I suggest you start shopping around now for an attorney to handle the adoption paperwork.

Thank you for your informative answer. I guess I need to contact an attorney shortly.

In most areas ( in the US) they will require you to be married first, not just engaged and require at least one year of marriage.

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Originally Posted by KG91

Thank you for your informative answer. I guess I need to contact an attorney shortly.

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When is the wedding? What you first need to find out is the requirements for him to adopt. Whether you need to be married and for how long. Once you know that, you can figure out when you have to file the petition.

The wedding is 8/15. There is no rush for the adoption to take place but it is definitely something that we will be looking into getting done. As you say, we will need to find out the requirements to adopt and what the process will be in dealing with his biological father. Without getting into the specifics of the situation, even though you say it's "on you" for not going after the father for child support it is with my child's best interest in mind that that was the decision I made. I have been fortunate enough to be able to provide for my son on my own, both financially and emotionally.

I appreciate your help in providing your thoughts and information.

Please note, that often the child's father later, after never paying for years, will be hard and just not sign now. Forcing child support is often the normal way to help convince them to sign.

Plus, child's best interest ? Not having additional money to save for Child's future ? How is that best interest.

Let me guess, father made some stupid theats ( they all do) what he would do, if you tried to get child support ? And you were young and believed him.

I have to agree with Chuck. Unless you are making a mid to upper 6 figure income, I can't see how it is in the best interests of the child to turn down additional income. Even if the father made threats.

Again, without getting into specifics, the emotional well being of my child was of utmost importance to me. Since you don't know the father's background and family history you wouldn't understand what I was unwilling to subject my son to. But I will say there were never any threats made. And, honestly, I appreciate your concern for my child's financial future but a little more money is not worth what it would have cost my child emotionally to have to deal with this person. My fiancé is taking his CPA exam and I work as well. Believe me, my son will be fine. He is a happy, smart, loving, well-adjusted child who wants for nothing. I think I made the right decision for us. But thank you anyway.

Please understand, the father had every visit right, and every right, without the support, so you did nothing, expect not get the money.

Had the father wanted to do anything, he had every right without you asking for support. This is a common issue, where father says they will ask for custody, but if father wanted visits, he could have always had them, by going to court.