Ask Me Help Desk - No Contact

Hello guys I'm Justin and I'm dealing with a situation no couple ever wants end up in. Last year 2013 my girlfriend decided that its time we move up to the next level with our relationship to make love (sex). Somehow her mother found out that it happened and sued me for the fact that my Gf was 15 and not 16 yet to have sex. The case was dropped and the conditions we got were not to see each other till she's 18 or only if her mother gave her permission to see me.

My girlfriend is going through a lot of pain and depression and need me and always cry over the phone calls that we're somehow being punished and even wanted to commit suicide since we can't be together for a whole two years. Now I know there HAS to be a way according to the law to make her see me again even if its just for a day, and I want to know what can she do to see me on a regular basis and who can convince her mom that it would be okay and we'll stay within the rules and rights that's going to be given, or basically what help is there for us?

Please please help !

Laws vary by your location (and you mention her age but not yours, which matters), but regardless, everything hinges on the permission of the parent(s). There is no law anywhere that will 'make her see you again.' There seem to be a lot of young people these days who feel that there is a way around any rule, law, or product. I do feel for both of you, but you jumped in to a serious adult act without thinking, and these are the consequences.
I would send a handwritten letter of apology to her parents. No excuses, no saying she was the one who wanted it, and no claiming it is love. Do NOT ask for anything. She can later ask for permission to see you in their living room or over dinner a few weeks later. Be prepared for them to say no.

It sounds like the case was dismissed upon a protection order, to keep you away.

You had sex with a minor ( that is legally rape) sorry but it is the price you pay for breaking the law.

The only way is to get parents permission to see her.

In fact you talking on the phone is most likely legally a violation and you could end up in prison if you continue this.

You entered into an agreement which basically gave you a ton of leniency. Had the parents wanted to, they could have ruined your life for a very long time. I totally agree with Fr Chuck's statement "you talking on the phone is most likely legally a violation and you could end up in prison if you continue this." I am guessing should there be a second incident the parents will not be so lenient.

Are your parents involved? They need to be and you need to be completely honest with them including telling them she said "even wanted to commit suicide". You will learn as you get older that relationships without drama are so much better.

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Last year 2013 my girlfriend decided that its time we move up to the next level with our relationship to make love (sex).

Unbelievable!! You barely missed jail listening to jailbait, now you want to keep risking it further by continuing to listen to jail bait. Maybe what you need is to sit in jail and think about it. Then you would KNOW what to do about a young female leading YOU down a very dangerous path.

Is your freedom and future worth being able to see this female? What do you think the consequences are to YOU that SHE is calling you behind her parents back? Hell guy you couldn't keep sex a secret, what makes you think you can keep phone calls a secret. That's just dumb, and if you can play with fire, don't be surprised if you get burned.

You see how far these parents will go to protect their young and dumb daughter, so don't expect that to change. It won't, and you sir will be in JAIL. No piece of you tail is worth it, and NO this is not a healthy love.

Obey the law, or be punished...................harsher the second time. You have been warned!!!!!!!!!

Another point you NEED to consider... In prison Pedophiles are liked even less than informants. And thats what you will be considered. Also once you go to jail for statutory rape.....you will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of your life....and everything that goes with it.

So again....how old are you?

And no, there is nothing in the law that will make you see her again. If the parents say no, then it's no.

To be honest, you're lucky that wasn't my daughter. Those parents were WAY more lenient than I would have ever been...and you...still talking to her on the phone...sounds like you want to go to jail.

No Justin, there is nothing in the law that will allow you to see her if her parents don't want you to.

The good news is that you still have your testicles and you aren't behind bars.

You committed statutory rape, you will be lucky if her parents ever let her see you again while she lives under their roof.

Thank you so much for the good answers but there's some that's bothering meeh and some of you are thinking ima grown man well NO I turned 18 last oct. And she 16 December , her mom knew we did it and it didn't bother her but when my girlfriend came running to meeh again, gave her mom the urge to sue meeh for having sex . We've been dating for 4years tops now and in that time we never had sex or whatsoever, this was our first time cause ii saved myself for her and she for me and look where it got us, but those who said about ending up in jail for making calls , no her mother at least gave her that permission to call meeh now and then and today she called and everything was okay and perfect so we've decided to not go through that again we just going to wait till she's 18 too and I told her if she loves meeh then she'll wait and she's okay now and will wait, thank you all for the honesty and those who said about the letter, that's really a great idea and ii promise ima do that and just put everything on meeh for nothing in return , and for those that said some bad comments on why I'm still going through it is because ii love her very very much like I said we have been dating a long time and I'm not going to give up on her , ima wait like a normal decent guy till she's 18 , and yes it was our first time trying it and it ended badly . But thanks again you guys .

You are 18 now... that means you can be charged as an adult for violating that order... because that would occur as an adult... the age you were when it was issued doesn't matter. 16 is still a minor in most of the USA. And you aren't.

I never thought you were an adult. I knew by your writing that you were a teen. (Most adults know that me is spelled ME not meeh). You still committed statutory rape because the girl in question was not of legal age to consent to sex.

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Thank you so much for the good answers but there's some that's bothering meeh and some of you are thinking ima grown man well NO I turned 18 last oct.

I agree, at 18 you lack the maturity and intelligence to be considered a grown man. But, according to the law, at 18 you're an adult.

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And she 16 December

A 16 year old, according to the law, is not an adult. Just fyi.

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her mom knew we did it and it didn't bother her but when my girlfriend came running to meeh again, gave her mom the urge to sue meeh for having sex .

You molested a child, that's what the law sees. The only way this mother could protect her child from herself, is to make it impossible for an adult to continue molesting her. Just because the mom knew you were having sex, doesn't mean she condoned it. Also, what the heck is "meeh"? Speak English! You're an adult, use real words!

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We've been dating for 4years tops now and in that time we never had sex or whatsoever, this was our first time cause ii saved myself for her and she for me and look where it got us,

You started dating her when she was 11 years old?

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but those who said about ending up in jail for making calls , no her mother at least gave her that permission to call meeh now and then and today she called and everything was okay and perfect so we've decided to not go through that again we just going to wait till she's 18 too and I told her if she loves meeh then she'll wait and she's okay now and will wait,

Can you re-write that please, and use real words, and make sense?

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thank you all for the honesty and those who said about the letter, that's really a great idea and ii promise ima do that and just put everything on meeh for nothing in return , and for those that said some bad comments on why I'm still going through it is because ii love her very very much like I said we have been dating a long time and I'm not going to give up on her , ima wait like a normal decent guy till she's 18 , and yes it was our first time trying it and it ended badly . But thanks again you guys

Again, this is too hard to read. I speak English, not gibberish. Write it in a way that makes sense to anyone that reads it. Meeh is not a word, nor is ima, or ii. I don't have the time or desire to decode your gibberish.

justin, because of the legal component to your question, I am going to ask what country/state you live in?