Restraining order against co-tenant?
Hi. This is in Washington state. I live in a two-bedroom apartment with my fiancé and a roommate, "Jake". We're 6 months into a 1-year lease.
Jake has no personal boundaries. He goes into our room without permission when we aren't home, a couple times when we were sleeping, to "borrow" things. He took my digital camera from our room and broke it.
In August we went on vacation and returned to find he let a homeless stranger sleep on our couch while we were gone. He asked our permission after the fact. We said no, and Jake still allowed this stranger to stay for another five nights despite repeated requests for him to leave. Jake gave our phone numbers to this guy in case he wanted someone to open the door (he called many times) and claimed we were OK with him staying for an indefinite period. We let it go because the guy eventually left.
When we moved in, Jake was a recovered addict so we agreed to a smoke/alcohol-free apt. Our lease forbids smoking inside or on the balcony. Jake smokes cigarettes on our balcony and throws butts over the side. The balcony's in front of our bedroom window, so smoke leaks inside and gives me migraines (I'm allergic). We ask him repeatedly to stop and he promises he will, then continues the next day. We've come home to him smoking out there many times.
Around October Jake relapsed and started drinking heavily, leaving beer cans and liquor bottles lying around, bottle caps on the carpet, etc. We reminded him of the no-alcohol agreement and he threatened to take us to court(!) if we touched his beer. No joke.
This entire time he'd been complaining about my cat. When we moved in he agreed to a cat. The cat is on the lease and has no behavioral issues. However, Jake doesn't like having the cat around and told me to get rid of him. When I refused, he threatened to "get rid" of the cat himself. After I said, "You can't do that," he screamed, "IT'S ME OR THE CAT." My fiancé and I told him flat-out that we would not abandon our cat. So he said he'd move out at the end of the November.
He then approached a member of our building management and lied, saying my cat was defecating all over the apartment, so that he could break the lease. We got a 10-day eviction notice sent to us for "high ammonia levels in the carpet". I talked to management, pointed out that we were already complying with all conditions in the notife, and had someone in to test the carpet... which, lo and behold, was fine. The notice was immediately dropped.
At the end of November Jake informed us he wouldn't move out until the end of January. We were frustrated but agreed because we were relieved he was leaving at all.
Jake went on vacation for a month in December. Two days before he left, he asked if his girlfriend could live in his room while he was gone. Turns out that she was homeless and had been living in his room rent-free for at least 2-3 months without our knowledge! I have written proof of this. We said no. However, AS he was walking out the door to catch his plane, he informed us that he'd given her his key to the apartment "just in case".
A after he left, we were contacted by one of his friends who said Jake told him that he, too, could live in the room rent-free for that time. Jake told him we were fine with it, which we obviously weren't.
Jake got back in early January. We asked for some kind of back-rent from his girlfriend, which he refused. Then he announced that he wasn't moving out after all.
We can't take it anymore. He recently slammed the front door so hard that the door frame cracked and it doesn't lock properly. He told me that IF he tells the landlord about it, he's going to lie about how it happened so he doesn't have to pay for the repair. He accused me of trying to punish him by moving the TV (we own everything in the apartment except for his mattress... even the furniture in his room). He basically is in full-blown depression/relapse/instability and admits that he sees us as parental figures. Whom he resents. He also told us to move out and said if we didn't find him a new roommate, he would sue us.
So... All that being said, I spoke to the management and we have two options. (1) We could transfer to a different unit and they'd take us off the original lease, leaving him alone with his mother as a cosigner. (2) We could file for a restraining order, and he'd have to leave the unit -- they'd take him off the lease.
We want the first option to avoid drama, but I'm sure he won't cooperate and he's still threatening to sue us if we leave. On the other hand, I'm not sure we have grounds for a restraining order and I'm afraid of how he'd react. My personal stress/anxiety is such that my health is declining and I can barely bring myself to go inside when I get home. I definitely DON'T want to be there when he's served.
Any advice? Do I have grounds for a restraining order? Is there a way to get one without having to speak to him or see him again?
Thanks.