I have been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now. She is very sweet, she has put up with me even though she has caught me texting one of my ex's and helps me through my bad days. When I met her I was in a great state of mind that I wouldn't date anyone and was going to do what I wanted. I was going to be social without any limits. Then I met her, with her troublesome relationship. I was with her and did not push her but she wanted to break up with her at the time boyfriend. Anyway, I "fell" for her and told her I was in love. It was something new and I told myself this isn't going to be like the other relationships I've had. Which were very similar. I would meet a fantastic girl (or so I thought) make commitments to them and end up realizing they are just holding me back. I have always been the savior in EVERY relationship. I was attracted to this girl I have now. I have shallow thoughts because I have been with many girls. I have experience.

It's now hard for me to even kiss her like she wants me to. All I think of is the exs I had and how beautiful they are, how they were dancers, strong independent women. But I always go for the younger ones. I am 25, the oldest I've dated has been 21. I don't need somebody to tell me they love me for reassurance. Even though I told her I needed that in the beginning. I always seem to find comfort in a relationship. Anyway, I have broken up with her because of all these thought twice now. I end up listening to everybody around me saying that she is the best I've ever had. I feel so bad because I care so much about her, but I am unhappy.

I don't know what to do. Can anybody give me some kind of advice? Thank you so much for listening.

You don't know what to do about what? You have already broken up with the girl, which you should have done. How old was she by the way, since you are 25 and 21 is the oldest you have dated.
Why would you date a girl who had a boyfriend and broke up with him for you? That is prime time for drama. How are all these girls holding you back, holding you back from what? If you don't want to date and do what you want, why are you then dating these girls? You are doing this to yourself and you are not fair to these girls. Maybe you need to just stay away from women for a while since you don't seem to have control over what you do.

You're the savior in every relationship? I think you need to look back and realize that all your experience, all the girls you've been with, all these failed relationships, had one thing in common. You. You're not the savior at all. You're the destroyer.

You fall in love, and then dump her because secretly you want to be a player, you want to screw around. Like I said, you're not the savior at all.

Stop putting yourself up on a pedestal. Just based on what you wrote, which isn't even the whole story, you're not the catch you seem to think you are.

If you cared about her, loved her, like you said you do, you wouldn't have broken up with her. You don't know what real love is. You only want someone to scratch your itch, to give your little brain some gits and shiggles. You're fooling yourself into believing you're this prince, this savior, this wonderful guy, when all you really are is someone that screws them and then leaves them so you can screw others.

You need a harsh dose of reality, because your view of yourself is very skewed.

She's better off without you.

No I've never meant to make it out
Like I think I am the savior. They have all said this. I don't want to be a player at all. I want to commit. The reason I said savior is because most of the girls I've dated have been in a dark place and I have a steady life with family and a daily routine. I know what I want and it seems like almost every girl I date is dating me for those reasons. I am not the egotistical person you have said I am. I know it's not fair. I didn't go into this relationship knowing this would happen. You got me all wrong. I must have confessed in a way that made me look this way. I do not date girls, get tired of them and dump them. I TRY. I try so hard to sacrifice and change and I have for each girl I've let in. I am not a destroyer. I said I feel like the savior because, for example, my current girlfriend, The one I am talking about and am still together with, her family are terrible people who could care less about her. I moved her out of her boyfriends house into her friends house across town using my money, I've stood up for her against her whole family and they respect her and I for that now. I know I am in the wrong. I am well aware of that. And I do agree I shouldn't be in a relationship for a while. But I am not a terrible person for trying just to find out it's not right. I am not a player and never want to be. I despise people like that. What my question is, she is such a great girl. But I just don't think she is right for me. I love her deeply, just not in the way she does for me. And I just wish I knew if I am being the kind of person who always focuses on what's greener or should I do what feels like settling?

I have never thought I helped anybody. But when I have dated these girls I seem to be their life and only source of happiness. That's what I meant 

If you don't love her like she loves you, leave her alone and no you should not settle.
You've only been with her a few months how long have your other relationships been? Why would you get with someone who is already with someone else?
I don't think you know what you want and until you find out what it is you want, leave women alone. Spend sometime with yourself.
Stop going after needy young girls. You are an adult. I think these relationships make you feel good and when it gets old you bounce. It's not the girls, it's you. It's the choices you make. Stop dating girls and prepare yourself for a woman who does not need to be rescued.

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Anyway, I have broken up with her because of all these thought twice now. I end up listening to everybody around me saying that she is the best I've ever had. I feel so bad because I care so much about her, but I am unhappy.

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So your on and off again relationship with her, is on again, and you want it to be off?

You said it yourself, you're not happy. Obviously this isn't the girl for you, but for some reason you think she should be, that you should love her the way she loves you, and you should be as happy as she is. But you're not.

Stop playing games with her, breaking up with her and then coming back, breaking up, coming back, breaking up... you get the point.

You may love her as a person, but you don't love her enough to be in a relationship with her. It's not fair to her that you keep trying to make it work when your heart really isn't in it. She deserves to be set free so she can find someone that will be happy having her in his life.

That doesn't make you a bad person. You can't love someone just because they love you. You can't stay with someone just because they love you. If you're not happy, the relationship won't work, no matter how much she wants it to.

I don't see it as something complex... if the relationship is full of drama... and is even bad enough it is on again and off again... you should just walk away because its not working and its never going to work. The question is how much of your life are you going to waste until you see this and do what you need to do?

It doesn't HAVE to be anyone's fault... it might be one persons or both people... if its not going smoothly and with few problems... then its not working. You can't force it... and if you try all you will be doing is fighting with each other until it reaches a point you can't stand the sight of the other.

And those will be months... years or even decades out of your life you will never get back.

I agree with Smoothy and would add your whole relationship life has been a huge contradiction. "It was something new and I told myself this isn't going to be like the other relationships I've had. Which were very similar." - I don't even know what that means.

Seems you date the same kid of female. Different face, same issues. Same results.

I went into it thinking it was different. It started very different. Then she became extremely attached. To the point to where I was her only happy thing in her life. I don't want to be the only great thing in a persons life.

That's just what it seem like.

Differently/

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Originally Posted by Ryanayr88

I went into it thinking it was different. It started very different. Then she became extremely attached. To the point to where I was her only happy thing in her life. I don't want to be the only great thing in a persons life.

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Maybe your girlfriend selection process is flawed. Maybe you should raise your standards and just not accept a girl as your girlfriend because she is available and has a chest.

Why did you think it would be different?

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Then I met her, with her troublesome relationship. I was with her and did not push her but she wanted to break up with her at the time boyfriend.

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You moved her out of her boyfriend's house, you rescued her. Why would you think she would not cling to you? You seem to go after needy girls, not independent women. How old is this girl?

I do. It's so obvious now. She is 20.

And because she was this strong independent girl when I met her. She had bought all of her furniture for her own apartment, paid her own bills and so on. Then she became comfortable around me and now she has to stay with me every night, she has to take pictures of us and put them in Instagram every other day. She is so caught up in her own little social media it's depressing. She wants to be like these girls she see on TV but will not do anything about it. I'm not judging her for these things but I have met people younger than her who are so much more independent than she is. These strong women I see everywhere just makes me realize how obvious it is.