Hi, My name is Alicia and I'm a 16 year old mother to a two month old baby. I was wondering if there was any way My 21 year old boyfriend and I might be able to get married without him getting into any legal trouble. Yes, we are both aware that our age difference might be a problem. We have my parents consent but want to know if marriage is possible. I know many of you might be thinking that I'm too young and that I don't know what I want. But we both feel very strongly about each other and have talked this through.

You might also think that I need to find a guy my age, but seriously. Guys my age these days don't take anything seriously. I need someone mature enough to understand that I am no longer a kid. My age means nothing. I know that I am mature enough to be sure of what I feel and want regardless of my age, and no, he is not my baby's biological father, but he is willing to see my son as his own. I find this being something very few would.

So if anyone has any advice that would actually help, I would really appreciate it. Thank you.

Marriage license does not ask if you have had sex.. with parent consent you can get married

Thanks. :)

In TX a 16 or 17 yr old can marry with WRITTEN parental consent. Such consent MUST be signed in the presence of the clerk issuing the marriage license. So your parents need go with you to the county office that issues licenses to sign the form.

Since he's not the bio father (who could be in trouble with the law since 17 is the age of consent in TX), there is no reason for legal problems.

But frankly, If I had a dollar for every teenager here who claimed to be mature and that age doesn't matter, I would be a very rich person. The fact that you became sexually active before you turned 16 and have a baby as a result, tells me you are not as mature as you think you are. I hope this works out for you, but frankly, I doubt that it will.

I can only advise you to keep talking and planning for another year and focus on at least getting through high school with the support of your parents. At least then you will have a better foundation and plan to get started on and not doom yourselves to poverty.

Your baby from a previous daddy is only two months old so unless there is a lot more to this story you haven't known this fellow very long or very well nor revealed that though he is willing is he ready for a family and more important can he support one and keep a roof over your head. Take a year at least of security and make sure the plan is solid and the baby has a chance to grow and so can you and this new guy. Love don't pay the rent, or buy diapers and milk. What's the hurry if what you say is true? I mean how long have you even know this guy?

EVERYBODY says they are mature, but we all can make big mistakes in our youth despite all that maturity. Keep talking for now and heal from your life changing event. At least 6 months before you jump into the stress of reality. Whose parents will you be living at?

'.. he is willing to see my son as his own.'

Now where's that post from a week ago? Young woman's boyfriend was so attentive to her pregnancy and birth of a baby by another man. Then she was shocked, SHOCKED, that he changed his mind after a few months, and not only no longer wanted anything to do with the baby, he threw her out of his house.

Wouldn't happen to you? The baby pees, poops, and cries. First there's the little complaints about the middle of the night, and then that horrible thought creeps into his mind - WAIT, this isn't my kid! I have no obligation to him at all.

Good luck. I know you don't think it will happen. Promises made between two people in a relationship or even marriage may be honest and heartfelt, but it doesn't mean they won't change. You already have been told that you can marry. You have your parents' consent. That probably means that you have them to fall back on if need be.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

In TX a 16 or 17 yr old can marry with WRITTEN parental consent. Such consent MUST be signed in the presence of the clerk issuing the marriage license. So your parents need go with you to the county office that issues licenses to sign the form.

Since he's not the bio father (who could be in trouble with the law since 17 is the age of consent in TX), there is no reason for legal problems.

But frankly, If I had a dollar for every teenager here who claimed to be mature and that age doesn't matter, I would be a very rich person. The fact that you became sexually active before you turned 16 and have a baby as a result, tells me you are not as mature as you think you are. I hope this works out for you, but frankly, I doubt that it will.

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Thank you for your opinion. :)

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I can only advise you to keep talking and planning for another year and focus on at least getting through high school with the support of your parents. At least then you will have a better foundation and plan to get started on and not doom yourselves to poverty.

Your baby from a previous daddy is only two months old so unless there is a lot more to this story you haven't known this fellow very long or very well nor revealed that though he is willing is he ready for a family and more important can he support one and keep a roof over your head. Take a year at least of security and make sure the plan is solid and the baby has a chance to grow and so can you and this new guy. Love don't pay the rent, or buy diapers and milk. What's the hurry if what you say is true? I mean how long have you even know this guy?

EVERYBODY says they are mature, but we all can make big mistakes in our youth despite all that maturity. Keep talking for now and heal from your life changing event. At least 6 months before you jump into the stress of reality. Whose parents will you be living at?

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I've been knowing him for almost 2 years already. Im about to turn 17..
Thank you for your advice though. I will keep it in mind. Right now I'm staying with my mom in Mexico the reason I want to get married is so I can become emancipated and keep going to school myself since my mom can't cross the border to enroll Me.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

'.. he is willing to see my son as his own.'

Now where's that post from a week ago? Young woman's boyfriend was so attentive to her pregnancy and birth of a baby by another man. Then she was shocked, SHOCKED, that he changed his mind after a few months, and not only no longer wanted anything to do with the baby, he threw her out of his house.

Wouldn't happen to you? The baby pees, poops, and cries. First there's the little complaints about the middle of the night, and then that horrible thought creeps into his mind - WAIT, this isn't my kid! I have no obligation to him at all.

Good luck. I know you don't think it will happen. Promises made between two people in a relationship or even marriage may be honest and heartfelt, but it doesn't mean they won't change. You already have been told that you can marry. You have your parents' consent. That probably means that you have them to fall back on if need be.

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Thank you for your advice. We've already talked it through and since he already has two kids of his own I doubt that it would become a problem. But you're right. I can't expect for things to always go as I plan them.. that's why I don't have any expectations I actually just want to get emancipated and go back to school myself. Hopefully things work out.

What happened to baby daddy? Is the new guy working here, or in school? Will you be staying with him and his parents? I know lots of questions.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

What happened to baby daddy? Is the new guy working here, or in school? Will you be staying with him and his parents? I know lots of questions.

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Sadly the baby's dad is a very problematic person so I rather just avoid him. My boyfriend is currently working, I was he has an apartment and we're planning to both live there together once we're married. But I'm not sure if it's possible with my mom not being able to cross to the U.S.

My hope is you don't rush into a decision based on just feelings and not a whole lot of thoughtful facts as the emancipation process is not an easy one nor is the life of an unemployed female with a child and he has 2 at 21. I smell baby mama drama. Or a young babysitter if they live with him which somehow I doubt. Or worse, child support which will crimp both your styles.

Hard to be optimistic when you have many challenges ahead. I know you have planned and talked but doing is entirely different, as knowing someone, and living together is just so not the same. Marriage is nothing to rush into, mature or not, great plan or not.

Sorry for the doubts and pessimism, but there is a particular concern of cramming to many major changes into such a short span of time. Old or young, makes no difference.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

My hope is you don't rush into a decision based on just feelings and not a whole lot of thoughtful facts as the emancipation process is not an easy one nor is the life of an unemployed female with a child and he has 2 at 21. I smell baby mama drama. Or a young babysitter if they live with him which somehow I doubt. Or worse, child support which will crimp both your styles.

Hard to be optimistic when you have many challenges ahead. I know you have planned and talked but doing is entirely different, as knowing someone, and living together is just so not the same. Marriage is nothing to rush into, mature or not, great plan or not.

Sorry for the doubts and pessimism, but there is a particular concern of cramming to many major changes into such a short span of time. Old or young, makes no difference.

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Thank you, somehow you're so right. I'll reconsider my decision. For now I'll just wait . But do you know if there's any way I can become emancipated an easy way? Just wondering.

By the time the courts process you through the system you may be close to legal age anyway. Only an expensive private lawyer would know how to expedite your case. Short cuts, and mistakes only make the whole process longer.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

By the time the courts process you through the system you may be close to legal age anyway. Only an expensive private lawyer would know how to expedite your case. Short cuts, and mistakes only make the whole process longer.

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Then I guess I can wait 1 more year. Thanks for the help anyway. :)

If you are in Mexico and your mother cannot cross the border into the US, you will not be able to come to the US to get married. Your mother would have to sign the papers here in the US to give permission for you to be married prior to the age of 18.

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Originally Posted by J_9

If you are in Mexico and your mother cannot cross the border into the US, you will not be able to come to the US to get married. Your mother would have to sign the papers here in the US to give permission for you to be married prior to the age of 18.

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Yea, I thought so. Thanks for clarifying for me. I appreciate it.