Ask Me Help Desk - My mom hates my guts

Ok so my mom has just told me she hates my guts and I am a ing c*ck sucker.

She is allways yelling at me to do something, or to not do something. We never actually talk to each other because one way or another it turns into a yelling match. I'm 16 years old and therefore have nowhere to go.

I get so upset every night just thinking about the lack of relationship me and my mother have, it kills me. I hate my mother and she hates me. I Cringe at the thought of having no mother, but she is a HORRIBLE mother, and I can't stand her

I hate her because she does not understand me, she doesn't listen to me, she ALLWAYS cuts me off when I'm speaking just to counter what I'm saying and yell at me.

Im on new medication to help me focus, as I can't get work done I school. This medications side affects cause me to not be able to fall asleep as easily at night, while I already have a problem falling asleep. So every night I've been up at LEAST until 3:00 am , and on Friday, I couldn't take it anymore and I was going to sleep in. I explained to my mom what was happening, and she told me if I didn't go to school she would call A truence officer to come and get me, like she had done before. I then proceeded to destroy her laptop, as I was mad.

There are many MANY more cases like this, and I feel it's unnecessary to list them all.

So long story short, my mom told me I'm a ing c* sucker, and she hates my ing guts. She does not under stand me, she doesn't listen to me, instead she cuts me off and yells to counter what I'm trying to say, every time I suggest something or try to help it's an automatic NO, she doesn't trust me she even came into my room one night and looked through my phone, as I had fell asleep with it unlocked and plugged in. She yells at me every day. The list goes on and on and on

I can't take this for much longer and I'm getting very sad. I don't know what to do can somebody please help me

First of all, you need to deal with that sleep problem. Let your doctor/psychiatrist (whoever prescribed the meds) know about this. You can be prescribed something else that allows you to sleep. And you and the doctor need to back up the bus to find out about the sleep problem that existed before you started taking the new med.

If you smashed my laptop, I wouldn't be very happy with you either. What is being done about this anger? Does the prescribing doctor know about it? Is this something new?

Who cared enough to take you to a doctor about the focusing problem?

It's important to know if there is a father in the house, and if you have siblings, and how old they are.

It sounds like a war zone in your home. But, mutual anger, and destruction of personal possessions, along with continuous arguing, will never help resolve differences, nor will all the arguing result in mutual respect for each other.

Sometimes, the type of relationship you have with your mother, needs outside help, because it sounds like both of you are out of control.

You are on medication I assume, for a learning disability? Side effects are common, such as trouble sleeping, and that should be assessed with your family doctor.

Have you had a drug problem, or alcohol problem, or have your parents? What do you think, are the underlying reasons for your mother behaving this way toward you, and what can you add to what you have said, that might be contributing to how things always seem to end up.

There are many healthier ways to cope with anger and frustration, and emotionally abusive behavior- has any attempt ever been made at speaking to a person outside the family, such as a aunt, pastor, doctor, teacher.

More information would be helpful to gain a better understanding.

Thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

First of all, you need to deal with that sleep problem. Let your doctor/psychiatrist (whoever prescribed the meds) know about this. You can be prescribed something else that allows you to sleep. And you and the doctor need to back up the bus to find out about the sleep problem that existed before you started taking the new med.

If you smashed my laptop, I wouldn't be very happy with you either. What is being done about this anger? Does the prescribing doctor know about it? Is this something new?

Who cared enough to take you to a doctor about the focusing problem?

OK for starters, she had broken my laptop about 2 months ago, that I paid for with my own money. Why should she have hers if I don't have mine? That's not fair. Yes the doctor knows about the anger, but not sure if he knows how bad it is. I have no patients, and when I get mad, nothing matters , I don't care who or what I hurt or break I just do it. I had complained for over 2 years about not being able to focus, and I suppose I finally nagged her enough to take me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake2008

It's important to know if there is a father in the house, and if you have siblings, and how old they are.

It sounds like a war zone in your home. But, mutual anger, and destruction of personal possessions, along with continuous arguing, will never help resolve differences, nor will all the arguing result in mutual respect for each other.

Sometimes, the type of relationship you have with your mother, needs outside help, because it sounds like both of you are out of control.

You are on medication I assume, for a learning disability? Side effects are common, such as trouble sleeping, and that should be assessed with your family doctor.

Have you had a drug problem, or alcohol problem, or have your parents? What do you think, are the underlying reasons for your mother behaving this way toward you, and what can you add to what you have said, that might be contributing to how things always seem to end up.

There are many healthier ways to cope with anger and frustration, and emotionally abusive behavior- has any attempt ever been made at speaking to a person outside the family, such as a aunt, pastor, doctor, teacher.

More information would be helpful to gain a better understanding.

Thanks.

I have no siblings and my father does not live with us. He has never been a big part of my life, as he lives in another city.

No, not a learning disability, I just have a hard time focusing on my work. I et distracted easily and fall behind. So the doctor prescribed medication, after a month I felt it wasn't doing anything so I stopped taking it. He prescribed a new one, and I feel this is impacting my sleep even worse , even though he said it would be better!

I nor my mother have had drug/alcohol problem, but I did smoke marijuana for a month or two a year ago, to try to help things. It did help , but I had to stop because I didn't have money. It was never a problem, and didn't make things worse

As of for counseling, I can't do it. I dislike being told what to do, and how to do it, especially from a person I don't even know!

As I stated before in my reply to the other person, she had broken my laptop a while ago, and had never replaced it even though I had bought It myself.

You two have developed such a bad over the course of time that it has become the norm for both of you. Very sad. You don't get to pick in life who your parents are. Parents aren't always right and they don't always make the right decisions.

But honestly here is what you need to realize:

1) You are 16 - People are going to tell you what to do. Until you get of age AND can pay for all of your life's necessities, get used to it. That is just the way of the world.

2) Stop yelling at your mother. She brought you into this world and by that alone you should respect her. My boys never raised their voices at me because they knew it wasn't acceptable - NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK THE REASON IS.

It sounds like you two need time apart from each other. You are 16 - do you have a job where you earn money? If you do do you talk to your employer that way? Do you talk to your teachers that way? Why should your mother command any less respect?

Basically if you want things to change, you need to start with changing your behaviors. You said "I can't take this for much longer and I'm getting very sad." Then change your behaviors. Don't yell, don't counter her points with your points, accept her discipline, don't break things, etc. She's not always right, but she is your mother.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frogys

As of for counseling, I can't do it. I dislike being told what to do, and how to do it, especially from a person I don't even know!

NEWS FLASH! That's NOT what counseling is. You are not told what to do and how to do it. And you will get to know the counselor and the counselor will get to know you before any counseling activity takes place (which, by the way, YOU as client, will be responsible for making happen). How do I know this? I'm a counselor.