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-   -   Excessive Obsession (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=77729)

  • Mar 31, 2007, 07:32 AM
    Lost_In_Confusion
    Excessive Obsession
    I don't know what I expect from this panel exactly, but here goes. Details: 20 yr old virgin (lol), Aussie bloke, that's all you need to know. Commencing on.
    Roughly a year ago I finally experienced my first and only relationship so far with a one of a kind girl called Jemma, and the story is as followed. We met at my mates party 2 years ago, hit it off rather intimately but very random in the sense that we nearly had sex in the alley way, but no we didn't, where not complete animals. By morning I fled because I didn't know what to do, and I was nervous as hell, reason being my alcahol consumption expired.
    A year later Jemma gets back in touch with me, and we both decided to go out pure and proper. That only lasted so long (4 months), and I did a terrible act of breaking the news over MSN, which I regret like you wouldn't believe. My friends thought it was in my best interest that I pull the plug, when I should have thought of the consequences. This didn't bother Jemma however, after our little chat, she had a shower and hit the town like a single lady would.
    My question to who ever is reading this little piece is, it's been a whole year now, and sadly I've thought about her every single day since I delivered the news. This has been driving me insane, when all I want to do is get on with my life, have fun and enjoy myself.
    I would go to any length to get Jemma out of my head permanently and I'm open for suggestions people, so fire away for my sake please. SOS
  • Mar 31, 2007, 07:45 AM
    shygrneyzs
    Maybe you feel this way because of how you ended it with Jemma. Ditching someone via the net is not quite a proper way to end a relationship - no matter how long or short it lasted. So perhaps you think there was something you left out, or that you could have said better, or just done better. Like you left a thread hanging in the wind.

    Since the break-up, what have you done, constructiively, for yourself? Have you gotten back into the "swing of life'? Met new people, acquired some hobbies or interests, taken good care of yourself physically and mentally? Attedning college or working?

    If you did contact Jemma, what would you hope to accomplish? Do you have expectations of renewing the relationship or do you just want to see how she is doing? I cannot see the harm in finding out how she is doing and perhaps apologizing for the way you ended things with her, as that really does seem to bother you. Even though your friends thought it was the best thing for you to do. Why did they think that? What were some things they said to you? Looking back, would you have still broken up with her? Remember, you are still fairly young and a lot of growing up to do. Heck, I am 54 and still have growing up to do.

    So... if I were you? I would contact her. Not so much to renew any part of the past, but at least to talk to her and say whatever you feel compelled to say. Sometimes doing that, relieves whatever is hanging over one's head. To affirm, in a way, that what was done, was the right thing to do. Even though the way it was done, was not as right.

    Wishing you the very best here. Good luck.

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