Hi I am super_mom1996,

I am 17 and a mother to a 3 month old baby boy and the loving fiancée to a 20 year old man. My fiancée and I have been together for a year a 2 months and at first thing's were amazing no fighting no arguing nothing of that sort but now it is totally different we do not know what is going on, I understand the first year is the hardest but is there anything we can do to get back to the way it use to be?

What's the problem? Have you not learned to just talk and listen to resolve whatever the conflict is? Having babies are life changing takes many adjustments. So again, what's the problem?

The first year of being together in a committed relationship is called the "honeymoon period." The couple tries very hard to please each other and gives up things they want in order to bind closer. After a year or so, the man and the woman return to being themselves with their own desires and likes/dislikes, with not as much care to please each other. After all, the relationship has become stable, so what's the worry?

The two of you need to put your own egos and wants aside again in order to please each other. Yes, you can still do your own thing and have your own interests, but like tal said, you must now talk with each other and know each other's heart.

Also, the baby now makes a difference, has become a third (very important) person in your relationship. You need to talk about this new small person and discuss how to raise her so that you will be together in one mind and not confuse her with two different styles of parenting. Talk with each other and quietly LISTEN to what the other has to say.

So you see, talking with (and LISTENING TO) each other is very important -- for the two of you to think on the same page for each other and for the raising of your child (and future children).

Did he become your fiancée before or after the baby? If you have been together 14 months and have a 3 month old, that sounds like you conceived after 2 months of the relationship. It also means that he had sex with a 16 yr old when he was 19. Depending on where you live, that could mean he might be guilty of statutory rape.

The timing also is indicative that he may feel trapped by this relationship, which could be the source of the friction between you. You need to take a long hard look at whether this is right for all of you or not.

Him and I known and dated before the year as well but we didn't get serious till a year and 2 months ago then I became pregnant.
My fiancée became my fiancée before I was pregnant buy yes I do agree that him and I need to sit down and talk and try to get on the right page I would do anything for him and my SON but yes Him and I do need to sit down and think things threw .

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Originally Posted by super_mom1996

him and I need to sit down and talk and try to get on the right page I would do anything for him and my SON but yes Him and I do need to sit down and think things threw .

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I had not looked back to see that it is a son, not a daughter -- I am sorry for that.

Even after over 45 years of marriage, it is difficult at times for my husband and me to put aside our own personal interests in the name of being together and being at one with each other. He has his interests and preferences and I have mine. I want chicken for dinner and he wants beef. I want to paint the bedroom blue and he wants to paint it beige. I want to buy a handsome new car and he wants to save money and buy a used car. We do not always talk the same language, nor do we agree, even in the small things. That is why we must listen -- really listen -- to each other and finally compromise, OR allow one of us to make the choice, knowing that at another time the other one will make the choice. That is a kind of compromise, too.