I have been friends with this girl for a few months and it was always on and off and she got me real coonfused so I didn't do anything. Eventually we get into a week and a half of romantic situations, but I still wanted to see if she really loves me. After that week and a half I tried to see her more but she always gave me excuses why she can't see me. I talked to her about it and she said she had given up on me and she wants to be friends. I tried to explain the whole thing from my perspective but she still wants us to remain friends. I even told her I love her but she won't change her mind. I trully love her and want her to give us a chance and I think she still does love me, but I don't know what to do, what do I say? It feels like I have said everything to save us being more than friends. Please help the sooner I do something, while she still might love me, the better, I'm desperate.

Based on this,
it was always on and off and she got me real coonfused so I didn't do anything. Eventually we get into a week and a half of romantic situations, but I still wanted to see if she really loves me. After that week and a half I tried to see her more but she always gave me excuses why she can't see me. I talked to her about it and she said she had given up on me and she wants to be friends.
What makes you think she loves you? I think you need to take her at her word and stop bugging her. Move on.

You may be confused but she isn't.

She just ain't into you like that.

Sorry. You can stop being foolish about this very nice rejection, or it will get ugly, and she will hate you for pestering her. Trying to change someone's mind that's made up is very foolish, and gets really annoying.

She's not in love with you. You will have these experiences from time to time where feelings on one side outweigh the other. Don't make too much of it, just move on. Don't pester the girl or you'll make a fool of yourself and make her uncomfortable.

She said she wanted to move to the next step and that she wanted me to kiss her so I do think she might still love me. And I trully love her so I'm going to try fixing this but if it won't work I'm not going to push it...

She also said she just wanted to be friends. Wanting to kiss you does not mean she loves you.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

She also said she just wanted to be friends. Wanting to kiss you does not mean she loves you.

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This whole thing is more complicated than that I just don't want to write it all down.
I know she loved me and now I'm not sure if she still does. She said it will be hard for her to get over this so I'm asuming she does still like me. We haven't gave us a try and that's all I want to get. So give me advice asuming she still loves me.

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Originally Posted by sirelad

So give me advice asuming she still loves me.

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I am sorry but from what you have written, I cannot give you false hope for a romantic relationship with her. Love takes many different forms. While you may feel a romantic love for her, she may care about you more as a friend. You seem to be trying to take her words and twist them to fit your meanings.

You say it is complicated. Sometimes the best you can do is walk away and allow the complications to work themselves out.

You cannot make someone want to be with you. By trying to change her mind you are only pushing her away.

If you cannot be her friend without expecting more from her than friendship, then you need to walk away. She has her own issues and feeling to deal with on her own and she does not need you to try to control how you think she should feel and respond to you. You need to learn how to handle your own emotions without allowing them to take over and to accept that others may not share your feelings.

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Originally Posted by sirelad

This whole thing is more complicated than that I just don't want to write it all down.
I know she loved me and now I'm not sure if she still does. She said it will be hard for her to get over this so I'm asuming she does still like me. We haven't gave us a try and that's all I want to get. So give me advice asuming she still loves me.

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I have been friends with this girl for a few months and it was always on and off and she got me real coonfused so I didn't do anything. Eventually we get into a week and a half of romantic situations

Your relationship has not even been that long. If she just wants to be friends with you, it does not matter what you want. Leave the girl alone. If she still loved you, she would try to overcome whatever is wrong. She is not doing that. She has walked away. You need to do the same.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I have been friends with this girl for a few months and it was always on and off and she got me real coonfused so I didn't do anything. Eventually we get into a week and a half of romantic situations

Your relationship has not even been that long. If she just wants to be friends with you, it does not matter what you want. Leave the girl alone. If she still loved you, she would try to overcome whatever is wrong. She is not doing that. She has walked away. You need to do the same.

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I didn't do anything yet I pretty much did leave her alone. Since I do know her and I'm the one living the moment I know she loves me but for some reason ( she claims its because I didn't kiss her ) she decided she wants to just be friends. It really came out of nowhere. She says that we gave us a try and it didn't work but we really didn't. All I want is to get one try, its not even a second chance. Over that week and a half we were great and I developed feelings for her. Suddenly after that she just didn't want to meet anymore. I'm not being aggressive with this, most of all I just want to know the reason why she gave up after a week and a half. If I had told her I loved her \ kissed her we would have been dating now, so throw all that away because of a kiss?

If the lack of a kiss was enough to get her to walk away, there was nothing there on her part to begin with. Maybe after a week, she was just not feeling you. After that short period she does not owe you anything. She says she just wants friendship. That is enough.

To everyone who said to leave her alone- So I talked to her and she appreciated that and she probably will give us a try. I don't know if explained the whole story good enough. Just be careful with what you say because weaker people who can't do things on their own would have listened to you.

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Originally Posted by sirelad

So I talked to her and she appreciated that and she probably will give us a try.

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I hope you are actually listening to her. You may not like what we had to say but our advice is still accurate.

"Probably" does not mean 'definitely". Without hearing her side I do not know if she said 'maybe' (probably) as an attempt at trying to be 'nice' by letting you down easy. If she says 'no' after she has given it some thought, then walk away.

If you show her the same obsession you have shown us, you might end up pushing her away.

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Originally Posted by sirelad

To everyone who said to leave her alone- So I talked to her and she appreciated that and she probably will give us a try. I don't know if explained the whole story good enough. Just be careful with what you say because weaker people who can't do things on their own would have listened to you.

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"Just be careful with what you say because weaker people who can't do things on their own would have listened to you."

You may put a question out there but you don't get to determine the advice that is given. The advice you got was very sound advice. There are many of us here who have had more experience with love and give advice accordingly.

You throw around the word "love" too much and carelessly. If you believe you are in love after a week and a half of almost dating, then you are mistaken and this does sound like an obsession. But you won't understand that until you have truly been in love. I am guessing that you become in "love" with any girl that gives you attention after a very short period. This sounds like a very immature relationship. So do yourself a favor and find out what it is to be truly in love. It is much better than what you have described here.

I'm sorry about this :( maybe she has a reason she can't tell? I have a similar situation, I'm a girl.. honestly, I wasn't into a guy who liked me.. I had my reasons too.. but what I can say is.. if she told you that many times, and you keep trying to ask for a relationship.. it will only get worse, she would see you as annoying and try avoiding you which will make things awkward.

This is because she would feel really bad having to say the same thing over and over again. It's better to be just friends than not being her friend at all/ anymore.

My advice is to remain friends and not think about getting into a relationship for now.. soon, you'll get over it or maybe something good will happen.. give her time.. show her your sincerity though friendship and if you guys grow closer she just might see you as a boyfriend : good luck :) but sometimes things don't work out because there's something better for us in the future.. lighten up :)

You asked for advice and got a lot of it. You would be wise to take it. At best her response to you is luke warm. The mixed signals are more likely than not just her not wanting to be mean. A lot of people are clear in feeling disinterested but have a hard time saying so.

All you can do if you aren't sure is to flat out ask her: "Im really interested in you but am not clear on whether you'd like to go out. Can you clear up my confusion?" If she gives a mixed response, she's NOT interested and is trying to be nice.

OK guys so me and her are dating and everthings going really good... she is happy I talked to her so you can stop saying some of this crap. You guys were just practically telling me to give up on her really quik, but obviously I shouldn't have done that and I'm glad I didn't listen to any of you...

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Originally Posted by sirelad

OK guys so me and her are dating and everthings going really good... she is happy I talked to her so you can stop saying some of this crap. You guys were just practically telling me to give up on her really quik, but obviously I shouldn't have done that and I'm glad I didn't listen to any of you...

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I sincerely hope things work out. If things start going downhill, you are welcome to come back and we will try to help you.

You may have what you want at this moment, but once again I am going to urge you to use caution and not show her the obsessive/clingy attitude we have seen.

Date, have fun and remember that you are individuals and should not spend all of your free time together or in constant contact.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by sirelad

OK guys so me and her are dating and everthings going really good... she is happy I talked to her so you can stop saying some of this crap. You guys were just practically telling me to give up on her really quik, but obviously I shouldn't have done that and I'm glad I didn't listen to any of you...

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Actually I believe I said you have very immature relationships, you throw around the word "love" when it isn't love, and that you don't know what real love is. Which I still believe is true. Once you find out what a meaningful relationship and love is, you will have a longlasting relationship with someone. And trust me, it is worth it.

If you want a second chance than you should just ignore her because she's not into you like that just be her friend than one day ask her if she loves you if she does than you guys are back together but if she says no than just let her go she's not worth your time or her time and just move on with your life and stay friends with her and leave her alone and the more you chase after her the more she runs away.