20-year old guy in Uni with girl problems
Hi,
This is my first question ever on this website so I do hope any mistakes/errors done will be forgiven.
Things to know about the girl - She's a very independent person - quite shy and hardly ever opens up. She likes to keep a low-profile - always sitting behind lectures etc. She does not crave attention or have social insecurities but she is able to handle conversations, speak up and carry herself very well when it comes down to it.
So here it goes - I've known this girl for almost a year(since January). We are uni-mates (both studying law) and will be going to the UK by September 2014. We were in the same tutorials so that's where I got to know her.We basically became classmate friends. I've always found her attractive but never really liked her until the 2nd semester which started in September
2nd semester began and I find I'm head over heels for her. I've always been able to talk with her on a more personal and friendlier level than most guys and this was magnified 10 fold over the last 2 months. We text, whatsapp a lot etc. Casual flirting is present - e.g. she calls me sweet I call her pretty. I always try to get her out to dinner/study/outings etc (we live in the same hostel) but that usually happens like 1 out of 10 times. Nevertheless, when it does work we click really well (this is usually with our mutual friends). One time I even fetched her to the club (to hang out with her sister) late at night because taking taxis is quite dangerous in our area (especially a single girl) and she trusted me enough to ask me for help at the very last minute (she even texted me hours later of how bored she felt there as it was a thursday). Last week we walked back alone to our hostel twice and got quite close (she never does this with anyone ever - especially guys). Sometimes we sit together in lectures (she never ever sits with guys) and talk talk talk. We keep making promises to hang out (on my Birthday she said we should party tgt) - we are supposed to go clubbing one night (and she doesn't mind if its just the two of us) however knowing her, she is either forgetful makes empty promises/ usually something comes up (she cancelled on a movie before because she had to go out with her sis).
So there I am, thinking that there is something between us at the very least and so I went to her best friend in class (I'm also pretty close friends with the best friend). I immediately told her (the best friend) how I felt and told her everything. She told me that she is actually interested in another guy, since the start of the year. Recently, the best friend confirmed that they just became boyfriend and girlfriend. However, this is almost unknown to the world at large as she (the girl I like) does not update her fb etc or tells anyone.
The problem is now that I'm not sure what I should do. My ego cannot be so high that I imagined something right? I'm quite sure that there is at least some attraction between us. I can handle being rejected and all but at least with some certainty. The way I look at it, they have been in close contact for almost a year and I only ever tried pursuing her the last 2 months (less time to show off the goods). Btw this guy is from her hometown and is therefore not in the university. (I'm not sure whether he is in the area though)
There is a concert coming up (rave and all -Afrojack) and we are both going for it. She will be going with her group of friends and so will I. It is the last night before we all fly back to our hometowns for the holidays. I was thinking whether I should even say something about what I'm feeling (and if so to what extent it should be?). I was thinking along the lines of when we leave for the concert - Hey I really like you so take care OK? And have a safe flight back. *hug her* and leave.
So ultimately the question is this - should I tell her how I feel about her even though she has a boyfriend (which I know of) but to which she's doesn't know I know. And if so how? FYI - I really like her as a friend as well and wouldn't mind being close and intimate friends at the very least. We are also assignment partners which can make things a bit complicated.
Yes - I know the best thing is to move on and I do indeed intend to do so. However, I want her to see me as dating potential in the future for she really indeed would make an awesome girlfriend (for me at least). I also feel that in any, relationship, honesty is the best policy. I also feel that by telling her how I feel, it would give me closure or perhaps even the slightest hint of a relationship in the future.
Anyone who has bothered to read the entire thing is very much appreciated =)
Help out this lost sod please!
