Hi guys, me again :) and yes the guy in question is the same one as this guy. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-775156-3.html.

Now we've been in a relationship for three months, and I love this guy but man is he clingy! He wants to spend every single minute he's got free with me. I am a very hardworking girl and you can imagine when I've done overtime at work and wants to rest, he wants to be there. He's also said he prefers spending all his free time with his girlfriend and hates couple who give each other their own space in a relationship. I have told him unfortunately I need time to breathe and do my own thing in a relationship, but he took it the wrong way and sulked about it for a while.

Now I love this guy and don't want to leave him because he is caring and I know he genuinely loves me but I hate the fact that he talks about how he can't believe he's with me, he tells me he loves me about 20+ times a day, sometimes when he says 'I love you' and I don't tell him I love him too, he repeats it like two to three more times until I say it back because for some reason, he thinks I just haven't heard him the last 3 times he's said it. He tells me he misses me about 20+ times a day too, he wants to spend every of his free time with me and whenever we're at home relaxing, he's either begging for a hug or just wants to cuddle up to me non-stop with me not being free for a second.

I genuinely feel suffocated and wish he would just calm down and not be so clingy! Do I tell him about this before it ruins our relationship? Or do I drop subtle hints or do I not tell him? And how do I do it please? Any help would be very much appreciated. Thanks you

Where is he while you're at work? What does he do for a living or with his time?
He hates couples who give each other space? Yikes, I'd have made like a pea and split.

(For someone you love a lot, he sure doesn't strike me as lovable, nor does it seem like you really find him all that lovable.)

While I'm at work, he is at work too, but he tend to finish earlier than me as I'm always doing overtime. And he has a VERY easy job. All he does at work is sit at a desk and open letters, I work in a lab where I'm on my feet all day for most of my testings.

At first, it was all cute always wanting to be with me when we first started our relationship, he's a good guy with a good heart but my God I just wish he would back off a bit! It's all getting too much for me and he takes it as me being mean when I've tired to do little things to get him to back off. I feel like a volcano ready to erupt and I don't want to lash out on him one day without him having any sort of warning..

It didn't occur to him that he was smelly. He doesn't believe in space. I dunno... 'good heart' sounds mostly like a kind of selfishness and cluelessness. He doesn't really realize that there has to be a lot of compromise in a relationship. He has to listen and think and understand you. Of course, maybe you just aren't being forthright. It can be done without anger or pleading. Just say this: a good relationship lasts longer if each person has his and her own life, interests, people, and time alone. Make a list of what you need from him, and he can make one too, and you can negotiate. If he can't, I would break it off.

You've been with this clingy smelly guy for three months, it does not sound like fun. Why are you still with him? Maybe he knows he smells and you put up with it and no one else would. But you sound a little desperate. Why would you put up with being this miserable in an only three month relationship?

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Originally Posted by confused2013

At first, it was all cute always wanting to be with me when we first started our relationship, he's a good guy with a good heart but my God I just wish he would back off a bit! It's all getting too much for me and he takes it as me being mean when I've tired to do little things to get him to back off. I feel like a volcano ready to erupt and I don't want to lash out on him one day without him having any sort of warning..

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It is a major red flag that three months in and you already feel like exploding.

No more 'dropping hints'. No more being concerned that he is going to sulk or get upset. It is time to sit him down and discuss your expectations and his for the relationship. Find out what each person needs and wants. Find compromises where needed or possible. If you cannot agree or adapt to each other's major needs then this relationship is not going to work.

I understand you think he is a great guy (with a few quirks) but that doesn't mean he is the right guy for you. You are in the part of dating where you are learning who each other is, how to communicate with each other, and if you can adapt to each other's needs. There is nothing wrong with walking away if it isn't working out.

I think you may be caught up in the idea that you can mold him into who or what you want him to be. If that is part of your thinking then it is very unfair to the person he is because it isn't him you care about but someone who doesn't exist.

I am not saying that you shouldn't talk to him about changes he should be making for himself (the hygiene if nothing else.) If anything you should be very honest with him. But if he doesn't feel he should change or is only attempting to for you then the changes won't last and resentment and frustration may take the place of caring and love.

Is he really the right person for you? Are the adjustments he wants you to make (spending all your free time with him) ones you can make without letting go of yourself or who you want to be?

Thanks joypulv and cat1864.

Wise words from you both. To be honest with you, I don't even think he knows he does it! I think in his own mind, he's just happy he's with me and wants to show me in every way possible that he cares. Also, he's not very experienced when it comes to relationships. He's only ever been with one girl and it was half long distance relationship, half being properly together. He's English and she was from Hong kong so they only see each other when she's at uni, the rest of the time, she always spends back home. So I don't think he's had much experience. He however did mention that the girl use to ignore his texts for days (perhaps she got a little fed up with his constant texting?).

You're right Cat, it is a little early to find fault and not do anything about it, what I want to do is tell him in the nicest way possible that he's coming across as clingy and it's suffocating me. And you're right, it's still early stages where I can just walk away if something isn't going too great rather than feeling miserable.

Thanks very much to you guys, really appreciate it :)

Bad hygiene and too clingy in the first 3 months? You are scared to talk or something?