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-   -   Disrespectful teenager (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=77631)

  • Mar 30, 2007, 06:36 PM
    darlene1
    Disrespectful teenager
    My son is 16 years old. He constantly argues about everything. He says things that are just mean. I don't know what else to do. He was cussing and pushing me when he lost his temper. I had him put in juvenile detention overnight. He was put on six months probation and started seeing a counselor. He seemed to be turning everything around. His grades went up. His attitude changed and he was not as angry. Then, his father started seeing him again and at first things were going OK. Until, they got tired of him being around again which took about 3-4 visits and they began to pick him up late and bringing him home early. Now, he has fallen back into his smart attitude. He got in trouble in school for cussing and now he has to go to alternative school. His father lives 4 miles from that school and want even pick him up. His fathers wife don't work and won't pick him up. So, I have to leave early from work and take a chance on losing my job. I am lost I don't know what else to do. How can I teach my son responsibility and respect. It seems nothing I do is right.
  • Mar 30, 2007, 06:44 PM
    ballengerb1
    You son probably feels as bad as you feel but for entirely different reasons. He sounds like he's miserable and unwanted by his dad. I would encourage him to go back to the counselor for many weekly visits. Teenagers in general go through some very difficult times even if the family is intact. Try to love him and feel his pain even when he is most angry.
  • Mar 30, 2007, 06:46 PM
    cissy0801
    :D wow!

    That is hard to cope with

    I have to say you should try sitting down and chat with him to see what is going on cause he might have some problem and you do not know what it is.

    And also I think the step mother is so mean...

    U should also confront her that and take your son with u
    Cause I think the father and the step mother is not looking after him properly and I think you should take the responsibilities

    Also try to tell your boss your situation and maybe that might help

    Al the best!!

    Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
  • Mar 30, 2007, 06:51 PM
    Parajr
    This is one that I take to heart because I am a teacher at an alternative school. I'm not a psychologist, but I'm sure that they would connect his behavior to his father's rejection. In my opinion the juvenile dentention only makes the problme worse. Children are only hardend there. If you could afford a private counselor do it. Get him involved in sports, boxing, football. Show him that there are many opportunities in this world, but instill into him that he has to behave to be successful. He needs a positive role model. Someone that he can look up to and respect. I was a troubled youth. I found out later in life that the older male that I looked up to was being directed by my father who I thought was too old to understand me. At 16 kids don't fully understand the most important things about life. They live in the moment. Their views are twisted. Find someone or something that he will respect and use it to control him. He is not going to listen to you at this point. If what he respects convinces him that listening to you is good then he will do it. It is sad but it is true. Im 28, and have been teaching for 5 years working with youth for ten years. I know this will work I have seen it work hundreds of times. Please rate, and let me know how it turns out I wish you all the luck in the world
  • Mar 30, 2007, 06:57 PM
    herringelizabeth
    He's probably going through stress or difficulties with a girlfriend or something. Does he come home late?

    Cause he could be doing stuff that you don't know about.

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