Talking about four months ago, I caught my husband lying to me about something. To make a long story short, he was supposed to get a ride home from one of my friends and he ended up getting a ride home from a coworker that works with him. When I kept asking him if he liked her, or she liked him, he lied to my face saying that he knows that he doesn't like her, and that she doesn't like him at all. When I ask to see his phone to see his messages, mind you I never go to his messages on his phone, anything in general he had show me a message from a different name and all it was all casual talk about work.

A couple days later a friend of mine, that was at the house, told me that he's been texting somebody because on a Sunday I guess when she was there, he was saying that this girl just call me her eye candy. I went on ahead and go figure that he was lying to me about the whole incident. Mind you he didn't come home till 5 o'clock in the morning that day. I was outside when I was trying to get in contact with him so I noticed that he was walking with the girl just talking but that was it. They were just talking when I confirm my husband saying did you lie to me on knowing that she liked or not? He confessed. He said that she does like him he knew about it. They were texting it was nothing serious she was the one saying you know he's her eye candy and so forth and so forth.

When I asked you like a he told me know I told her why would you come home 5 o'clock in the morning if it was just nothing but a friendship? Also told him why would you be texting somebody knowing that she likes you? Basically all of that show he told me that he was sorry, that he wasn't hundred percent honest with me, and telling me that he knew a girl like that, but that he is being honest with me that he doesn't like her, has no feelings of such with her. He did admit he liked the attention, he doesn't know why. I can understand, I guess in some formation because our baby was 3 months old we were barely spend time together, cause I went to work as soon as the baby was two weeks old, but at the same time he lied to me and now I feel that every time I try to rebuild the trust, a wall is blocking me to trust him again.

My question is to you, do you think that he's like that girl? And did he just get scared ? Or was he doing it for the attention and he realize he was in too deep?

We can't tell you what he is thinking or why he is acting a certain way because he is not here - we only have your description of events.
Spouses who get friendly with co-workers are either getting in deep or they aren't. I'd guess that it's about 50/50 across millions of people. As you probably know from your job (or maybe not, if your co-workers are all women), relationships can get very close. Sometimes it's just a shoulder to cry on, and BFF to give advice to. Other times a sexual attraction develops.
Coming home at 5 am is not appropriate for a spouse!
Lying can be forgiven, especially if he really was innocent and you were too accusative and suspicious to begin with. We hear day in and day out about how someone wasn't snooping, they just happened to see some messages on a spouse's phone, and it's a weak excuse, and a waste of a lot of words, when you should be talking about trust.
You have a young child and are now pregnant again, maybe. I'm not sure why you weren't taking special precautions to NOT get pregnant, while you are in the middle of all this mistrust!
Even with one child, you have a lot to think about in terms of how much is practical and how much is going with your heart. You need a good heart to heart talks with your husband about fidelity, in which you listen to what he is saying very carefully. If he is sorry, you decide if you can forgive him. If you feel he is lying, you decide if you have to leave him (or accept it). You can't just keep up a life of snooping, accusing, and being miserable. Do you hear what I am saying? You have to make solid decisions, and make them now.

I agree with Joy. To keep up with these doubts, and accusations (real or imagined), will only make this problem bigger and bigger, until you find something else, and on it goes.

I'm curious to know if, other than this one concern over this one woman, you have ever had reason to doubt him in the past. What is causing this to happen in the first place- assuming what he says is true, and it's just a friendship.

Maybe the two of you have drifted apart and other areas of your relationship have too as a result. Do you spend quality time together? Do you do anything together? It is easy to get caught up in the day to day stress of working, raising a baby, paying the bills, getting supper on the table, etc. to miss the fact that your relationship is equal to just another chore.

I agree that your focus should be on him, and his focus should be on you. Set some time aside, alone, to talk about your relationship, and keep this up at least once a week. Talk about your lives together; find common ground again.

Keep up what you are doing now, and you'll remain doubtful, and accusatory.

I think you let this go for a while and deal with the reality of being pregnant or not, with your second child. Between hormones and stress, it's very easy to get emotionally carried away and act on impulse at this time.

Does your husband know of your pregnancy concerns? He may well be freaked out by your actions and words so far, and may NOT fully understand or grasp what you feel. If he knows then he may just be freaked out and defensive by being confronted in such a manner, or the though of being a daddy again.

Maybe neither of you have fully recovered from the life changing events of the first child. I don't know, but YOU are certainly out of sorts a bit, for whatever reason.

I don't snoop around my husband phone. Or anything. I have never done that ever.that day he came home at 5 am I asked to see his phone his messages right in front of him so it's not snooping around. Also The way I found out they were texting was cause or friend she a babysitter. Told me that he b told her about the Message. When Three days after the situation Happen I asked if he was deleting messages cause why would she call him eye candy. Then he confessed. Yea in the past my husband had lied to me before. This was when we were engaged he basically did the same thing to me that he did just not too long ago and it was with a coworker as well we have both work together before the same job right now we don't anymore we were different jobs but I thought time he did exactly the same thing that he did to me recently I guess that's probably why I'm the way I am because he's done this to me before the past and he even told me that he was sorry about it in the past and I thought that he would have learned after the baby was born in being married and I mean everything was great honestly no problem we were still having sex. I guess I really wasn't getting my much attention due to the fact because of the baby and because I just want to work so recently the only problem was that we barely got to spend any time together because I went right back to work as soon as the baby was two weeks old

when he did this to me in the past basically did the same thing he went on ahead and hung out with the girl knowing that she liked him and just completely ignore me for it he admitted to me that he had a little crush on her but that it was nothing serious the reason why he didn't leave me for the other girl was because he loves me and he's not going to leave the person he loves to the person he likes. He told me he likes the attention.

but then again I was giving him attention there was no reason, we didn't have the baby or nothing when it happened in the past. so when this recently had been for months ago it kind of caught me off guard. I can understand somewhat why it happen because we weren't really spending much time together. I was doing the best that I can to help him financially.

and I was a little busy with the baby and stuff so I can blame myself for fall. I do blame myself for that but you know I did the best I could I was not getting attention from him neither I wasn't was receiving affection from him on his side neither, and I didn't do thst yo him.I would never do something like that to jeopardize our relationship.

we talked last night, I told him how I felt that I love him and I do want to work things out .I told him that I'm not going to lie I feel like I am running around in circles . and I'm sorry that I am . but he's hurt me before and it took me awhile to forgive him in the past. Because this happen with him in the past being dishonest so I told him ,how is this marriage going to work if I don't know if I am able to trust him if I'm running around in circles.

that's my fault I blame myself for that. he told me that he you know miss me . That honestly he didn't like the girl at all he did it for the attention he felt like he wasn't receiving it for me at the time. he admitted for being foolish that he also realized he didn't give me attention , and how I didn't do that to him. he cried to me last night and told me that he's afraid of losing me he really is, that every single day he has a fear of me leaving him. and that he loves me he really does love me that he sorry that be isn't not making much of an effort to spend time with me but that he really does want to spend time with me.

I mean I can admit everything to every single day he tries to be romantic you know he'll send me messages like I love you he'll tell me he misses me that he wants to spend time with me. but still kind of throws me off because when this happen for months ago he was doing the same thing. and then randomly this Happen out of nowhere . he told me last night that he really means when he says he sorry he loves me he doesn't want to lose me and he was crying his heart out. and saying that he wants this to work and I was crying as well. I told him The way to work this we need to make a promise to make that time for each other I'm not sure if that will help the relationship because we both really are in love and we both want to make it work.