I am a 43 year old mother of 2 with MS. I can't work and I am on SSD, my husband left and I get NO child support or anything. He only pays the house note. He gets checks from his military retirement plus he has a government job. We have been married for 20 years. Something is not right. Please give me some good advice.

Um, we'd love to, but what advice do you want. What are you trying to do, get child support? File for divorce? What?

I don't know your whole situation or where you are, but from you username I'm guessing Kentucky USA.
Are you separated or divorced. I hate to say it, being active duty military but after 7 years of marriage you're most likely going to get a portion of his retirement in a divorce. But to complicate things, you may have to give up your dependent ID.(I'm sitting in a room now with a bunch of active duty and retired military civil servants and none of us know exactly what it takes to lose the ID). Which would mean no free health care.

If he's paying the mortgage and not living there, you may want to do some math to see which is a better deal. Separated = Mortgage and healthcare , or Divorce = part of his retirement and child support subtract healthcare and mortgage.

But that's an assumption based on little knowledge of the situation.

He won't file because in this state, if he files he will have to pay for his attorney and mine too and visa versa. He does not pay child support or anything. He took the car, (I don't drive anymore) but I get no spoisal support, etc. I am struggling on my little SDI and almost dead broke.

I get Medicare and from what I understand in some cases I will be able to keep my healthcare, but none the less it is not worth it to me. I have indured so much pain from him which is why I think my MS has gotten so bad.

That still doesn't explain what you want help with. What's stopping YOU from filing for divorce? What haven't YOU seen an attorney?

If I file, I have to pay for BOTH attorneys. I have already seen an att. This is just too CRAZY.

You are saying the divorce laws in Kentucky require that the party filing for the divorce is required to pay all attorney fees? That's ridiculous. Can you get a citation for that law?

I was curious about the laws in KY, so I looked around a little. So far I can't find anything that says - as part of the law - that the person filing would have to pay all legal fees. Did an attorney tell you that? If that is the case - nobody in KY could get a divorce. In Ohio, you can ask that the other party pay your fees. Most of the time you wouldn't get it - but in your case and your inability to work - you might qualify.
Also, you may be intitled to spousal support on top of your child support plus part of the military retirement.
Don't cut yourself short - you have options and you don't have to live this way.
You can file a separation agreement that would state that your ex would have a temporary set amount of both spousal and child support to pay while waiting for the divorce.
Good Luck

Sounds like he's making out.
Like I said, generally after 7 years of marriage, let alone the 20 you were married. You're more than likely going to get 50% of his military retirement. And child support to boot. There's bound to be a lawyer that will take on the job and take payment after you go through the divorce.

I hate doing it to the guy. I like to think I'm strong and love my wife very much. But I don't know how I'd handle finding out that I'd have to take on more than normal spousal care for her at such an early time in our marriage. I feel for both of you and wouldn't want to be in either of your shoes.

I have to go along with NowWhat. No one would file for divorce if that was true. Generally, where there isn't much to divvy up, divorce fees are fairly low. And, usually the attorney fees are negotiated as part of the settlement.

I think you need to research this some more. You have a situation where your husband leaves you and your kids because you are sick. You would get an enormous amount of sympathy and pretty much get what you want in a divorce.

What your husband has done is just one step short of abandonment. If it weren't for the fact that he is paying for your housing, it would be complete abandonment. As others have suggested, you are in a very good position to receive much more than you are receiving now, as part of a separation/divorce settlement. In addition, your husband is responsible for supporting his children. Whatever attorney you spoke with did not give you the correct information.

Please contact the Kentucky Office of Legal Services immediately for further guidance. Their purposed is to advise all those who live in the State of Kentucky. You will not be charged for this advice. Get all of your questions written down beforehand so that you won't forget anything important. Link has been provided.

Kentucky: Cabinet for Health and Family Services - Overview

Good luck!

Thank you o much for your advice, I surely am going to follow it, because he has made my life a living hell and with my handicap. It's even harder,:(

I called the number of the office you gave me but it does not handle divorce/seperation at all. If you find out more, please let me know.

iluvky, they were supposed to be a springboard for you to get advice on what the laws are. I am sorry if you misunderstood, but I wasn't suggesting they could help you with a divorce. I was suggesting they could advise you on what your rights are, whether you need to file for divorce, if the person filing for divorce must pay for both attorneys, as you stated in your earlier post, or if there is another way you can force your husband to pay child support. Find out what the laws are that govern your situation. If they say they cannot help you, ask if they would please supply you with a list of divorce attorneys in the State who would know what it takes to help you with your special situation or if there is another agency that would help you in receiving financial aid.

I just ran another search. Here are a couple of other web sites that might be of help to you.

DivorceNet - Kentucky Divorce

Kentucky Divorce , Kentucky Child Support, Kentucky Child Custody, Kentucky Landlord Tenant Law, Kentucky Collections, Kentucky Wrongful Termination, Kentucky Alimony, Kentucky Visitation Rights, Kentucky Traffic Violations, Kentucky Contracts, Kentu

Here is a law firm in Kentucky that specializes in divorce. I cannot vouch for them so you will have to use your own judgment. But, you may want to call them and ask what the laws are regarding divorce in Kentucky, and ask if they will be willing to provide a free initial consultation. Tell them about your situation and see if they will be willing to take on your case and go after your husband for payment of their fees. It is a long shot, but worth the call to start gathering information.

Law Offices of William L. Hoge

You need to speak with someone who knows divorce laws in Kentucky and who is willing to help you get additional monies for child support and payment of the note on the house so you can continue to live there.

Here is a link to Family Support Services. You may want to call them and find out if they can help you or give you guidance on how to get child support out of your husband, or if you qualify for some sort of financial aid or help, and what agencies you can turn to.
Kentucky: Cabinet for Health and Family Services - Division of Child Support

Ell, I ent to ee a new attorney, o let me know that he is basically upos to ay child supprt an a small amount to me I may have to sell my house I am so pissed off Its not fair

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Originally Posted by iluvky

I am a 43 year old mother of 2 with MS. I can't work and I am on SSD, my husband left and I get NO child support or anything. He only pays the house note. He gets checks from his military retirement plus he has a government job. We have been married for 20 years. Something is not right. Please give me some good advice.

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Why don't you get child suport? Are your children under 18? I know no matter if you have a job or not they will track you down and at least get something out of you but you have to go to court and ask them to. But you might want to look into it first because they might give you less disability if you do because it acts as income... good luck

It won't affect my disability, but I can only get child support ater I ile and t is ver ith I have 2 kids, but only 1 is under 18

You really should talk to a lawyer and at least get a free conciltation.

I'm sorry 1250.00 I saw the attorney yeaterday

Have you tried public aid attorneys or one that gos on a slidding scale so they will go by your income? You can also get a lot of advice on line with online pulications and try justask.com

My mom is paying or the attorney for me This one is really not the type to be one to push I don't know what to do