I own a house in which my mother lives. She married again at 75 years to a 55 y/o man she met on a pier down the street, unexpectedly. This man is from Bosnia. This man has never worked and has wiped out her savings, completely. He is one of those who feed off the frail and elderly, very slick and only out for shelter, money and booze. He drinks all day and does nothing. This routine has been going on for three years now.

My current jam is ownership of the home, in which a small part of my mother’s monthly SS had been used for yearly property taxes and property insurance, an agreement between her and me. This is a Florida residence.

All was going well until her new husband decided that he wanted control of her SS money and subsequently got her SS account transferred to another account (my mother and I had a joint account previously).

My situation hinges on the fact that I cannot support this house for free while this man just sits around and drinks all day long, week end and week out, yearly. I cannot just go over there and remove their stuff and change the locks, as some people have suggested. He displays a violent, foreign-style attitude. This is going to take some serious thought. My mother is innocent in the midst of this situation and just “goes with the flow”, happy go lucky ways, she is calm but still confused, very forgetful from one moment to the next, she’ll do anything for anybody with no motive. They stay there all day and all night, hardly a moment without his watchful eye on or near the property; else he sends my mother out to the store, just a short walk down the road. His main venture is for smokes and booze. He says that he is “not going anywhere and not paying for nothing!”

It’s certainly a creepy situation, and I want to keep the house but if there is no cooperation financially, then I must either get them both out to rent it out or sell the place---I would have no other choice but to support them, something I cannot do financially. My mother, naturally, would be my main concern, and her innocence in this situation is what makes this situation so stressful. Any legal facts from experts are appreciated.

Wait a minute. Why are you sitting back and letting this man drain your mother? I would RUN to an elder care attorney. Its likely you can get this marriage annulled and this guy prosecuted. I can't believe you have let this situation drag on to this point. If you really care about your mother, you would have done something long ago.

It has nothing to do with sitting back and letting this man drain my mother but more to do with her wishes and desires---you know, dignity. I did RUN: got her house in my name, her accounts, and took every possible financial precaution. But it was still her money, and she did pay for her housing obligations. They were on a budget for years but he clamped down and rode the wave, saying that he was going to get a job next day…and then next week and so forth. Try to look at this holistically instead of blindly or in emotional fractions. It's only recently that he has become savvy thus changing her accounts. The money ran out, see, and he found a way to get more money, ie: changing the SS account thus termination her housing obligations, leaving me with the burden.

You aren't listening to me. There are laws against what this guy is doing. If what you are telling us is accurate, he is preying on her. A good elder care attorney will know how to protect her.

But the bottom line here is if she won't cooperate then you have to play hard ball. And that means starting eviction proceedings. Maybe that will wake her up to smell the coffee.

Yes, I am listening and do appreicate your response. It's a crazy situation and this guy has fooled my entire family. It's nothing more than a Sham Marriage---but figured out after it was too late.

So do something about it! Florida especially has laws to deal with those who prey on the elderly.