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-   -   Boyfriend issue (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=773486)

  • Oct 31, 2013, 07:32 PM
    kou
    Boyfriend issue
    My boyfriend and I been dating for a while about a year and a half now.. we started having sex a year into the relationship. And now I want to stop having sex because I feel like its not right as a Christian.I been reading my bible and I really want to be committed to God.we planned on getting marry after college.I talked to him about not having sex anymore until we marry but he got mad and said I am taking away the intimacy of our relationship.now, I don't know what to do.. any advice?
  • Oct 31, 2013, 07:48 PM
    smoothy
    This is what happens when you open Pandoras box.

    You have to do what you feel is right for you... even if it means he walks away.
  • Oct 31, 2013, 08:10 PM
    jakester
    kou - well, I'd say that if he really loves you and shares your values, he would not only respect your wishes but also share the same desire as yours to be committed to God. Give him some time to process things and try to understand where you are coming from, while abstaining from intimacy with him. If he never comes around, he may not be the right person for you. Real love is not about sex but about respect and cherishing each other. This is your first real test of your love, I think.
  • Nov 1, 2013, 11:49 AM
    hauntinghelper
    While sex is intimate... it's not the only intimate thing in a relationship. If he can't take your personal convictions seriously then perhaps you need to rethink the entire relationship.
  • Nov 1, 2013, 03:09 PM
    dwashbur
    If sex is the only intimacy your relationship has, there's something wrong. I recommend sticking to your convictions, though gently and lovingly, and proceed with caution. The others are correct: you need to be willing to let go of him if he won't respect your wishes regarding your own body.
  • Nov 1, 2013, 04:06 PM
    Alty
    Sounds to me like all he cares about is sex. There are many ways to be intimate in a relationship, without having sex. If you feel that this is wrong based on your beliefs, and you want to stop, he should respect that decision. If he doesn't, you know where his priorities lie. Sounds like sex is what's important to him, not you, or your beliefs. Love means understanding. If he really loves you, keeping his pee pee in his pants until your married, isn't a big deal at all.

    I'd seriously reconsider this relationship.

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