I have been dating this guy for over a year now. We have been through it all, cheating, and pretty much everything else. I live him more then anything in the world and I can see he trully loves me too.

He continues to lie about silly petty things but I can't figueout why. When I being up the things he lies about he freaks out on me. Does this lying have to do with him being bipolar?

He has hd every oppurtunity to leave me or let me leave bur always asks me to stay. What is wtong here?

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'Let you leave?' What, he has you chained in the cellar?
And it doesn't matter if he's bipolar or has 2 heads; if he lies and cheats you need to ask yourself why you stay with him. Begging you to stay may tug at your heartstrings, but that's not what love is about.
We can't tell you all the many reasons people lie. It would take a book. Yes it would be nice to know why he does, but he's the only one who really knows. If he says he doesn't, then he needs therapy. Not something you can solve for him.

I love him so I guess that's why I don't actually leave. I def agree on him needing therapy.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

'Let you leave?' What, he has you chained in the cellar?
And it doesn't matter if he's bipolar or has 2 heads; if he lies and cheats you need to ask yourself why you stay with him. Begging you to stay may tug at your heartstrings, but that's not what love is about.
We can't tell you all the many reasons people lie. It would take a book. Yes it would be nice to know why he does, but he's the only one who really knows. If he says he doesn't, then he needs therapy. Not something you can solve for him.

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I would sit him down and tell him that there's no need to lie to you that you guys have been dating so long that you can handle the truth

Has he been diagnosed as bipolar, or is that just something he tells you as an excuse for lying (or whatever)? If he's really bipolar, is he on meds (and does he take them correctly)?

I have sat him down and told him gthere is no reason to lie but you guess he doesn't trust me still because of what his exes have done. I even keep telling him that I can't keep fighting their fights.

And yes he has been diagnosed with bipolar but he doesn't take the nmeds because he doesn't like what they do to him. I think I may try and get him to try again.

1st : He has hd every oppurtunity to leave me or let me leave bur always asks me to stay.
2nd : I love him so I guess that's why I don't actually leave.

Those two sentence don't gibe. You seem conflicted about your love, or what started as love, and what is going on now, which doesn't sound at all pleasant. Love is supposed to be happy, content, with a few glitches here and there, a few quick arguments, but nothing pervasive like this.
Maybe you need to talk to a therapist a few times just to get perspective on what's keeping you with him. 'Love' as an explanation isn't enough.
And you can't solve his being bipolar either, and he isn't going to change as long as he remains untreated. It's hard enough to change when under medication and therapy.

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Originally Posted by Dparker554

I have sat him down and told him gthere is no reason to lie but you guess he doesn't trust me still because of what his exes have done. I even keep telling him that I can't keep fighting their fights.

And yes he has been diagnosed with bipolar but he doesn't take the nmeds because he doesn't like what they do to him. I think I may try and get him to try again.

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then I guess you should sit down,with him and a therapist a see if you three can work something if not you 2 probably are not meant for each other

There are many reasons someone will lie. If you truly love him and he loves you it may work out but if he is freaking out when you catch him in his lies then you definitely have a problem. Once someone lies over and over its hard to know when the truth is being told.

"What is wrong here?"

It appears what is wrong here is some people set their relationship standards so low that they are willing to accept any behaviors. Think about it.

What is wrong here is that you have forgiven him for everything that he has done and continues to do. Why stop lying if you are just going to get mad for a minute and get over it? It is sometimes easier to lie than man up and tell the truth. If you want to continue being with a liar keep doing exactly what you are doing, if you don't want to, the break things off and find someone who is going to respect you and your relationship.