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I will be fifteen in 7 months and the guy that I recently started dating is going to be 19 in 6 months. I really like this guy but we are both worried about the age difference. My parents seemed OK with the whole thing when I told them but I wanted to check to be sure if it was legal or not.
As far as I have been able to find in researching these types of questions, there are no laws regarding 'dating'. However, different places have laws covering touching, kissing, and sexual contact. You would need to look up the laws for your location to know what the legal boundaries are.
Also there can be major limits on what a 14 year old is allowed to do compared to an 18 year old. Does your location have a curfew?
What are your expectations for dating and a relationship? What are his? What exactly will your parents allow?
Frankly, you are very different places in your lives and it will put a huge strain on any relationship you attempt to build.
You are most likely under the age of consent. So any sexual activity could land him in jail. I'm rather surprised your parents are OK with this. A 4 yr difference will mean very little when you are 18 and almost nothing when you are 25. But at 14 its very large difference as you two are at very different phases of development.
I really doubt if there is much future in this relationship.
I always wonder why an adult would want to date a child. You're in grade 8, maybe 9, he should be done school. He can drive, he can work, he can vote, you likely have to be home before dark. Why would he be interested in a child? You two can't possibly have anything in common, unless he's very immature for his age.
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Originally Posted by Alty
No, no...I've heard this one before....she is very MATURE for HER AGE...and he loves her...and they will not do anything until she is old enough because he loves and respects her.
We hear this a few times a month.
I wonder why you are concerned about the law and your parents are not if they have said they don't mind. I find that hard to believe. I can't imagine parents being OK with their 14 year old daughter dating an 18 year old.
An 18 year old has no business dating a 14 year old, should not even be interested in you.
I don't believe your parents are cool with this, but I don't doubt the boy is worried about the legality of what he is doing. You are jailbait. This boy ought to be ashamed of himself.
I think you can date you just can't do ANYTHING so I wouldn't really call that dating just hanging out but I'm really surprised your parents said its okay and yes why would an 18 yr. old want to date a 14 yr. old no offense and I think your hormones are just getting the better of you
An 18 year old has no business dating a 14 year old. Do laws have to be amended yet again to reflect the ridiculous idea that it might be okay, and make the obvious legally wrong to add more protection to children?
I have zero respect for any parent who would be okay with a man, dating any child, let alone their child!
Please think long and hard about what you are doing, and the trouble you could be getting yourself into.
It all starts with grooming. That is what men do, with children. Just hanging out, or texting, or chatting. All the flattering comments, leading you on to think you are more mature than you are, playing with your emotions, holding hands where you aren't seen, maybe meeting up at a park, or beach. He won't have a curfew, so he'll sharpen his strategy to keep you falling more and more under the lie of 'being interested'.
Before you know it, you'll be lying to your friends and family, trying to look and behave older than you are to him, putting on makeup to be attractive, and fawning and hanging on every word he says.
He can't hang out with your friends because he'd look like a fool, so he will slowly expand your world, with his world. His world at 18 is very, very different than your world at 14. You are jumping maturing years here, and that is what men grooming children do.
They are smooth talkers, and sly manipulators. It is a turn on, sexually to get you to a point where it starts with kissing, then fondling, then full blown intercourse. You'd do anything to please him, and keep him, because you believe he LOVES you, and you love him.
He gains, you lose. You are too young to have the life experience and maturity to know how absolutely wrong it is, for you to be involved in any way, shape or form, with a man.
So you've been warned. You know what men do, grooming, to get kids like you, into their lives, for purposes other than friendship. If all they wanted was friendship, they'd be with people their own age. Likely they don't fit in anywhere, but feel like conquering macho men when they can get a 14 year old under their control.
Use your head. Stop before this goes on another second. Whether your parents or anybody else is okay with this, it is NOT okay.
Everyone has their opinion. Some might not approve, but who cares? As longest as its legal in your state I say it's obviously fine! No sexual contact though. I'm 15 dating an 18 year old. My parents know about him since the beginning. We've been together for about 2 years. We share quite a decent amount of things - he doesn't control me. I make decisions for what I want too. He respects me and if he does that to you then goooood
Kissing is sexual contact you know and I don't care what a 15 year old who has been dating since she was 13 says, an 18 year old interested in a 14 year old is suspect and is messed up. I find it hard to believe her parents are OK with this
There is a very good reason to care. And no it isn't "obviously fine". In most cases an older boy is looking to take advantage of a younger girl. You are lucky. I don't know many parents who would allow their 13 yr old to date at all let alone date a 16 yr old. But, at least you were honest with your parents and maybe there are other factors (knowing the family well, etc.) that prompted them to approve. But your situation is the exception, not the rule. And to try to apply your experience in general means you are giving bad advice.Quote:
Originally Posted by R31211
There are good reasons there are laws on the books that prohibit sexual activity for minors. There are good reasons that parents can control their minor children. It doesn't always work out, but most of the time it does. Frankly, I doubt if your relationship will last much longer. He's 18 now and will be much more into adult things where your young age will be holding him back.
Just like you don't care about it, she doesn't either. We'll leave it like that.
She obviously does because she asked the question. You are the one who said "who cares" not her.Quote:
Originally Posted by R31211
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