I have insecureties and jelousy issues, also would be vindictive when I was mad. I hurt her and she feels betraded which I can't blame her for those feelings. I am taking a class and some time to better myself and tolet her take.it in and get over being angry at me. But I want to ask her to not date or see.other people in this time and see if we can try again when I jave fully worked on my personal probloms.

She's an Ex for a reason, do you honestly think she'll do this ??

"But I want to ask her to not date or see.other people in this time"

Ewwww. Clearly you are just beginning the classes. Insecurities, jealousy, and being vindictive are not attractive qualities. If you have been this way with her, you have no right to ask her to not see anyone else, plus you are feeding into your issues by doing so. And I hope she doesn't.

Let her go. With the issues you have you cannot be a good boyfriend to anyone. So fix what is broken and let her move on.

' I can't blame her for those feelings.' GOOD
' I am taking a class and some time to better myself' GOOD
' and tolet her take.it in and get over being angry at me.' WRONG
' But I want to ask her to not date or see.other people in this time and see if we can try again when I jave fully worked on my personal probloms.' WRONG

You start OK but then lose what you are learning.
No one has rights over another adult. She isn't even your baby, as your ID says, and never was, not in the ownership sense that you seem to have.
As for waiting, how does anyone know that someone is going to succeed at what is being made better? They don't. Therefore you don't get to even ask her to wait. You prove yourself, not once but many times, in other parts of your life, and then see if she agrees that you have really changed. Chances are she'll be long gone. That's when you try out your new self on new people.

Quote:

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I have insecureties and jelousy issues, also would be vindictive when I was mad. I hurt her and she feels betraded which I can't blame her for those feelings. I am taking a class and some time to better myself and tolet her take.it in and get over being angry at me. But I want to ask her to not date or see.other people in this time and see if we can try again when I jave fully worked on my personal probloms

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This may seem harsh to you but I hope you will listen with an open mind.

You have issues with insecurity and other negative behaviors that lead to controlling and manipulative actions. You know this and are beginning to understand how they affected your girlfriend. On one level you seem to see that you have hurt her and are attempting/planning to get help. That is very good and I sincerely hope you can make the changes you need to make to be a better partner.

Now for the harsh part, asking her to 'wait' for you is a continuation of the controlling behavior. You are still trying to tell her what you want and expect of her and all she is getting is a promise that you may or may not be able to keep that you will change. I am sorry but it doesn't work that way.

You leave her alone to heal and move forward with her life. She dates if she wishes and may find a partner who is better for her. You learn to adapt to the changes you want to make in your life without having someone to use as a crutch. You make the changes for yourself to be a better person and partner for your future girlfriend. It may be your ex giving you another chance or someone you haven't met. But the point is that you move on with your life work out your issues before you contemplate another relationship.

When you date again, it should be after you have learned to control your negative impulses and are willing to accept that any girlfriend you have will have her own past and her own life that you cannot and should not attempt to control.

Understand that you have to make these changes for yourself, not someone else. You have to learn to nurture the positive feelings and thoughts inside yourself so that you can share them with another person. Build a strong foundation before you look for someone who will enhance the positive aspects you are trying to strengthen.