I have been dating this wonderful girl for about 3-4 months now and loving it! I'm in love with her and she makes me so happy!
But lately we have had acouple big fights mainly because of my jealousy, I've said I was sorry but she just says "it's fine" and then I just feel worse... Even though we have kind of gotten over it it just doesn't feel like the relationship we ha before, it doesn't feel like the loving, affectionate relationship we had a little while ago! I desperately need help because I hate my jealousy and the way it hurts her and myself and I don't ever want to see her leaving because she is honestly my everything! She says that she loves me but it just doesn't feel like it, I feels like she doesn't care if I'm around or not or if we see each other, she says she misses me but it doesn't feel like she does at all and it feels like she couldn't care less if she sees me or not :(
Please help :(

I've been with my girl for about 3-4 months now but my jealousy over even the smallest things to do with other boys and her friends that are boys is hurting me and I get upset and I get in a fight with her, someone help
:(

Why are you jealous? Your relationship is not going to last if you keep this up. Jealousy is such an ugly thing. How old are you, is this your first girlfriend and have you always been this way?

I'm 16, and all this jealousy is because it feels like other boys make her smile or make her happy than I can and it always feels like she would rather be with those boys that make her smile and laugh, and I think so l

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Why are you jealous? Your relationship is not going to last if you keep this up. Jealousy is such an ugly thing. How old are you, is this your first girlfriend and have you always been this way?

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I've felt this before in some relationships, but nothing as painfull as this! I'm just so afraid she will leave and it's causing problems with my paranoia

Seems like there is insecurity on your part. Maybe you should deal with that before you date so you can be emotionally healthy enough. You are going to run this girl off.

I merged your threads. There is no need to start another one .

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Seems like there is insecurity on your part. Maybe you should deal with that before you date so you can be emotionally healthy enough. You are going to run this girl off.

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How do I deal with this insecurity?

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Originally Posted by Smiles1221

How do I deal with this insecurity?

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First you tell her that you are giving her a break from you, and tell her why. Tell her she isn't the first girl you have been jealous and insecure about, just the most intense one. Tell her that you need to work on it. She should respect you for it. And it will save you from the much worse pain of being dumped, and you are going to get dumped sooner or later.

Second you talk to friends and ask them if they notice your insecurity and if they have any clues why you are this way. It might be because of how you grew up, maybe your parents broke up or they fight all the time, and you fear them divorcing, or you only have one parent? Or maybe you have always had whatever you wanted, and life has been too easy, so you just expect undivided attention?

If you have no ideas, not even within yourself, you get therapy. If you can't do that, you sit down and start writing it all down. Anything you can think of. We all feel jealousy, but we know that it is counterproductive. It's poison! It wrecks all relationships. So we keep a lid on it, and we talk out our fears with the person we care about. We don't insist anything, and if our fears are still there, we let it go, or we leave the relationship. You have no choice but to work on this and control it, or you will have a very lonely life.

Please keep us posted if you take this advice and let us know how it's working.