My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now. During the day when we are out and about or even when we just stay home and watch Star Trek we are as happy and loving as can be. Its absolutely amazing but for some reason only during the day. And just a couple of month before now we were having sex on a daily basis. But since then, its gone to 1 or 2 times a week. Maybe.

I now keep finding him hiding in the bathroom and watching porn. He knows I love the sex with him and it really bothers me that he doesn't even seem to consider if I would like to have sex or not. I don't care that he watches porn, every guy does and lately because of the lack of sex I do it to after he leaves to work. So obviously I'm not against it.

I'm just so frusterated that his sex drive seems to be no longer there for me. It makes me feel like crap when I know he is hiding in the bathroom and I'm just sitting on the couch. I want to have sex with him but he doesn't seem to want to anymore.

I don't know what to do or even how to tell him he's hurting me.

In a relationship, two or three times a week is more relalistic than every day. For the man, I assume he is masturbating, it is a simple easy release, he does not have to worry about anyone else, takes very little effort or work.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

in a relationship, two or three times a week is more relalistic than every day. for the man, I assume he is masturbating, it is a simple easy release, he does not have to worry about anyone else, takes very little effort or work.

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I completely understand and am not against the fact that he masturbates. I know its an easy release and its even good to have some "alone time". That's not my problem exactly. My issue is that when ever he's horny he just goes straight to the bathroom. Doesn't indicate that he's horny or seem to care that I may want to have sex. Sometimes when I initiate that I want sex he brushes it off as if he can't tell what I want when its obvious. Kind of makes me feel like I'm not good enough or that he doesn't care enough to help with my needs.

How long have you been living together? Do you spend all of your 'free' time together or do you spend time apart with friends, family, hobbies, etc.

You need to talk with him. Ask him if something has changed that is affecting his desire for intercourse. You cannot read his mind to figure out what is going on. Only he can tell you.

Don't 'confront' him. Sit down with him and be honest that you are concerned something is wrong. Listen to what he has to say with an open mind. Don't put words in his mouth. If you aren't sure what he means, ask for clarification. Work together to find a solution.

Something to think about is that many times issues in the bedroom start in other areas. Have there been any changes in his life? Any performance issues, pregnancy scares, added stress from work, friends, or family, medical issues, weight gain, mobility problems, etc.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

How long have you been living together? Do you spend all of your 'free' time together or do you spend time apart with friends, family, hobbies, etc.?

You need to talk with him. Ask him if something has changed that is affecting his desire for intercourse. You cannot read his mind to figure out what is going on. Only he can tell you.

Don't 'confront' him. Sit down with him and be honest that you are concerned something is wrong. Listen to what he has to say with an open mind. Don't put words in his mouth. If you aren't sure what he means, ask for clarification. Work together to find a solution.

Something to think about is that many times issues in the bedroom start in other areas. Have there been any changes in his life? Any performance issues, pregnancy scares, added stress from work, friends, or family, medical issues, weight gain, mobility problems, etc.?

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We have been living together for about a month and a half. Yes we spend all of our time together except when he and I are working. We both just moved to Oklahoma so we don't really have many friends yet. But yes, sometimes he goes out and shoots with his coworker and I do things with my coworker. But for the most part its just him and I. Thank you for the advice. Ill try to incoorperate what you've said into my future discussion with him. Also, no pregnancy scares or performance issues. Work has been steady not very many big changes since we've been together. And our weight hasn't changed.

Not much I can add here. Between Cat and Chuck they have this reasonably well covered.

What I will add is that, through common culture and the media influence, men are discouraged from being too lust full and initiating sex too often. We don't want to seem like over sexed fiends who're only here for your body. It isn't too much of a stretch. We need go to the edge acceptable sexual interest without going over the cliff of "You're a pervert". Seems silly doesn't it?

Anyhow, you've moved from the "Honeymoon" to the "Sustaining" Stage of your relationship and still getting used to being moved in together. Things will even out though you might also want to protect yourself in case things go south. Just saying.

You've only been together 6 months... you don't really get to know each other until after 3 years... So you are only now just getting past the fresh meat stage... where reality is setting in. And apparently reality isn't as exciting to him.
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I'm guessing the excitement is already gone... and I bet pregnancy isn't far from his mind... because despite protection... it happens all too often. Even using multiple forms at once correctly.

Men don't masturbate because they are horny. Its quick, easy, and feels good. Like a shot of bourbon on a cold day.

It has nothing to do with the female AT ALL!!! You have know him for 6 months, lived together a month and a half, and he probably has been masturbating since puberty. Heck you are still learning about each other and learning how to communicate.

We don't do it EVERY time we go to the bathroom. Why even think like that? That's the problem. You do it yourself, so don't begrudge him. Most females speak of their feelings and never not once question WHY they have those feelings or what they could do about them.

So why is it that it always comes down to what he is doing? I have always suspected it's a fear that he has fun with just himself and not you. Am I right? You said you don't have many friends, and that's no fun. Maybe a combination? Maybe because it's beyond your control to change him?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Men don't masturbate because they are horny. Its quick, easy, and feels good. Like a shot of bourbon on a cold day.

It has nothing to do with the female AT ALL!!! You have know him for 6 months, lived together a month and a half, and he probably has been masturbating since puberty. Heck you are still learning about each other and learning how to communicate.

We don't do it EVERY time we go to the bathroom. Why even think like that? That's the problem. You do it yourself, so don't begrudge him. Most females speak of their feelings and never not once question WHY they have those feelings or what they could do about them.

So why is it that it always comes down to what he is doing? I have always suspected its a fear that he has fun with just himself and not you. Am I right? You said you don't have many friends, and that's no fun. Maybe a combination? Maybe because it's beyond your control to change him?

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Lol I didn't say every time he goes to the bathroom he does it. Nut I know every time he does it because he closes the door. He usually never does unless he wants to watch porn. Which is fine with me. Again, I'm not against that he does it, I'm just confused and a little concerned as to why he started doing it so often now that we don't have sex every day. But thank you very much for your input. I appreciate everything that has been said.