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Custody question

Hi - I have sole custody of my 13 year old daughter since 2011. Her father has no visitation and never has made a motion to get it. My daughter and I had been residents of New Jersey for her entire life and her biological father moved to Arizona 10 years ago and was incarcerated there. I have been remarried for 3 years and my daughter, husband and our two sons and I moved to North Carolina. I never notified her father because his contact information was always changing. He wasn't even pay child support. I did give him my daughter's cell phone number after getting her permission and he and I agreed that it was up to her whether she wanted to keep in contact. He made her feel uncomfortable so she asked him to stop messaging her. He stopped messaging for a year and suddenly, today a strange woman sent her a text message asking to talk to her about her father. She showed me immediately and I sent him a text to the last known phone number I had for him. He then told me that he was taking me to court for not having notified him of our move. My question is, can he drag me back to New Jersey after we've lived in North Carolina for 6 months and he isn't even a resident of New Jersey? And what can I do about him giving out my daughter's contact information to strange women?

Is there a custody order in place already? If so what State issued the order? Have you received any paperwork yet from him?

I have a custody order since January 2011 giving me sole custody and a child support order which he has only ever paid when my daughter has given him the time of day. The custody order is from New Jersey. No papers from him, just threats and harassment of my daughter. I have always been willing to work with him and since he is usually incarcerated and doesn't have a job, I was understanding of his inability to afford lawyers and never pestered him about the child support because I knew he was struggling. Now, I don't know what is going on and in New Jersey, we were told that because of my daughter's age and the fact that she hadn't seen him since she was 3 years old, she would be allowed to decide whether to have contact with him.

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Originally Posted by cdad

Is there a custody order in place already? If so what State issued the order? Have you received any paperwork yet from him?

I'm new to this, so I'm trying to figure out the correct way to respond to an answer. I'm sorry if I'm doing it all wrong.

Yes, he can drag you back to the court, that the custody order is filed in. You may ask the court to move jurisdiction to your current state, But the hearings for this would be in state where the custody order is filed.

With that said, he will also have to travel there for court, which may be doubtful.

Also strange women would call and talk to daughter normally if they are from a court, for legal custody work, it sounds like he may have a new girlfriend, and they are messing with you??

But he may take you back to court, there should not be a issue with the move, since he already moved , just the notification, and if he goes back to court, they will do very little,

No, child can not decide, it is up to the judge, the judge may listen to what child wants, but child is not one to make the choice

You're doing fine. Since there was no visitation order and you did leave him with a point of contact, I doubt if a court will do anything. However, NJ still has jurisdiction and if he does file, it will probably be in NJ that he will file.

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... And what can I do about him giving out my daughter's contact information to strange women?

Change your daughter's contact information (i.e.: change the phone number, etc.)

I do believe it was a new girlfriend who contacted my daughter. It happened like this, my daughter sent me a screen shot from her phone of an app called KiK. There was a new message from a woman saying "Hi you don't know me but my name is (blank) and I'm friends with your daddy". My ex husband was involved in the conversation because it was a group conversation. My daughter blocked the girl on the KiK app and then shortly after that, my ex and the woman sent her a group text message again with the woman saying the same thing. My problem with him was that he gave this woman my daughter's chat message name and number instead of just messaging him herself or even coming to me. I've always been supportive of their relationship if my daughter chose to have one with him. He told me it was because this girl has seen him cry himself to sleep every night over our daughter and wanted to help him by reconnecting them. I don't understand why he wouldn't have just called me. I was the one to reach out to him after years of him not seeking contact with our daughter. Is that legal for him to do? I can't even imagine if he were the custodial parent and I had my boyfriend who's never met my daughter or my ex husband texting her phone number! It's scary to me that he's willing to give out her contact information to anyone to get sympathy somehow.

Can I change her contact info without notifying him? I don't want to get in trouble for not giving him a means to contact her. He does have my cell number, email address and now a KiK address. But, I don't want to do anything that could be wrong to do legally.

As for him filing in NJ, you mean that he will have to leave Arizona and file in the physical state of NJ? Can I contact NJ court offices and do something via fax or phone appointment?

Thanks for all of your answers!

You should not cut off his contact point. And frankly I don't see a real problem with the way your daughter was contacted.

But he will have to file in NJ, either in person or through an attorney. You, on the other hand may be able to appear by phone.

Also since neither party currently lives in NewJersy then you can file to have it dismissed due to lack of jurisdiction. The only reason they retain it now is because that is the last place that a decision was made.

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Originally Posted by PS1982

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As for him filing in NJ, you mean that he will have to leave Arizona and file in the physical state of NJ? ......

Assuming he doesn't have an attorney in New Jersey, and that he doesn't know how to use the mail, perhaps so.