I have a crazy kitten who is bent on using me as a scratching post. Any ideas on calming him down before my best friend arrives? She's coming in a few hours and Joey can stay psychotic for a lot longer than that.

Help!

You do have a couple of scratching posts for him to use, and you've show him how to use them? Kittens experiment with how different surfaces feel as they run around and be kittenlike. My drapes and furniture were clawed by a kitten my son got from a friend's cat's litter. Once the kitten grew up a little more, he stopped doing that, especially once he realized the scratching posts were more fun. (The scratching posts are parts of a cat condo and a cat tree.)

Of course, you won't hit or spank him (he won't have a clue why you are hurting him) and you won't be mean to him, right?

You are maybe 11 or 12?

I am twelve and I would never think of hurting him. He does have a few scratching posts that he's used before, but I don't think he is trying to find something to scratch I think he is attempting to find something to hunt.