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-   -   Need help figuring out what to do. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=770113)

  • Oct 5, 2013, 05:30 PM
    mogrann
    Need help figuring out what to do.
    I AM IN NO DANGER AT THIS TIME.

    When do I know skills are not working and it is time to get help? Do I still keep trying skills until they work? I have been thinking of self harm and su.. not in a planning way. I am able to fight it but the thoughts are there. Is this something I will have forever and just have to deal with? I am confused. I do know my options for when I am overwhelmed and doing more than thinking.
    My thinking is more of it would be so easier to cope that way. Your life sucks.
    Please no one worry about me. I am fine right now. It is me thinking of it and listening to my songs I listen to when depressed... I just need to know what to do? What is the skillful way to handle this?
  • Oct 5, 2013, 05:49 PM
    Wondergirl
    I'm here for you.

    Did you get back on meds?
  • Oct 5, 2013, 05:52 PM
    mogrann
    Grrr meant to answer WG. I was going ot post in another thread that one.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 05:54 PM
    mogrann
    No I have to call doctor on Monday. I put it off. It is hard too when I only can go to doctor on Tuesdays due to work
  • Oct 5, 2013, 05:57 PM
    Alty
    Mogrann, it's a lifelong process dealing with these issues. That's one thing I've learned the hard way by going off meds, and not following what I know I need to follow in order to stay healthy mind, body and soul.

    You know what you need to do. We all have down days, and that's fine. But you have the skills to get yourself out of this funk. You also have people that care about you, in real life, and on this site.

    Stick to what you've learned. Use your skills.

    Your life does not suck. You have a husband that loves you, a dog that loves you and that is loved more than any dog I know, including mine. You have friends that love you, and care about what happens to you, and what you're dealing with.

    You can handle this. You can handle anything that comes your way. I know it. You need to know it.

    Get back on that horse and ride! This is one minor set back, and tomorrow is a new day.

    Love you.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 05:57 PM
    Jake2008
    Thinking of suicide, and thinking of self harm, that occur in more than a fleeting, immediate reaction to a sudden situation that has left you devastated (which will pass in other words), is very different from actually planning, and or executing a suicide, or harming yourself in some way with cutting, drugs, etc.

    While you have these thoughts, it is ideation, and if it is of a continuous nature, you do need to seek help. You don't need to have an immediate plan, but, unless you have more control than you are saying, or implying with the "I AM IN NO DANGER AT THIS TIME", you would be doing yourself a favour to have a professional assess your thoughts; particularly if they are of a continuous nature.

    I don't know why Wondergirl asked about if you were back on your meds. Are you on a prescription right now?
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:06 PM
    mogrann
    Jake I had asked what others thought of me seeing about meds. During DBT I was taken off my meds, it was part of the program. Learning skills while not on meds. If we went back on meds during the program we could have been kicked out. I was/am feeling like I may need meds again and I asked on a thread if I should see about it or not. See my p doc is always trying to get me back on meds, even when I was in DBT and him knowing I had a psych doc.
    I should say that this is normal for me, even when I was self harming or attempted SU it was always spur of the moment. I have learned how to tell when I am bad off and it is a call the crisis line or go to ER. I am just unsure of this situation.
    My options as I see it:
    1. Skills using lots of self soothe, journalling. Try to figure out triggers. I have no clue what is causing these feelings/thoughts.
    2. Call crisis line
    3. Go to ER(really don't like that one at all). WIth my past it will involve waiting for psych team to assess me before I can leave. That can take hours. There is also the risk of being admitted. Most people with mental health issues that is a big fear whenever you go to hospital.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:10 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    1. Skills using lots of self soothe, journalling. Try to figure out triggers. I have no clue what is causing these feelings/thoughts.
    2. Call crisis line
    3. Go to ER(really don't like that one at all). WIth my past it will involve waiting for psych team to assess me before I can leave. That can take hours. There is also the risk of being admitted. Most people with mental health issues that is a big fear whenever you go to hospital.
    I would suggest both 1 and 2, and leave 3 as an option if 1 and 2 don't work.

    Keep in mind that WG and I know you very well. We know what you've been through, and continue to go through. Jake doesn't. She's basing her answer on this one post.

    That's why I always tell people that come her to seek professional advice. No one can judge based on one post. There's always way more to the story than what we see in that one post.

    You know I'm here if you need to talk. You can chat with me on fb, you can call me if you need to, you have my number and if you lost it, I'll PM it to you here or on fb.

    I'm here Mogrann. We all are. You only have to tell us what you need, and we'll do our best to do it.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:16 PM
    Jake2008
    Thanks for that Alty.

    And thanks for filling me in a bit more Mogrann.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:17 PM
    Wondergirl
    Self-soothing puts you in the Now -- no regrets about the past and no worries about the future. It is just Now. Like a cat. Or like Owen.

    But you can't live like that 24/7. You can't self-soothe constantly or you'd be a zombie. Every person I know-- family member, friend -- who has struggled with mental illness has needed meds to adjust brain chemistry (so, you see, needing meds is not a personal failing). DBT is a great tool and I'm betting it works best of all after meds smooth out the wrinkles and rearrange some of that brain juice.

    Will you be able to self-sooth until Monday? I'm betting you can. And you know I am here for you, even by phone. (I'm really fun to talk with! And I will then make kissy noises for Owen.)
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:19 PM
    mogrann
    Ty for the offer for talking but I really don't know what I would say. I have no clue what is going on or why I feel this way, so talking would not help. That is what is bothering me the most, why is this surfacing again.
    Guess I do need to make the doctor appointment and see at least about short term meds and maybe take out my diary cards so I can see the skills and start using them all everyday until these feelings go away. I thought I was done with the diary cards but that will help by me reading each skill.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:24 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mogrann View Post
    Ty for the offer for talking but I really don't know what I would say.

    You wouldn't have to say anything. I wouldn't quiz you at all, and would tell you about my four rescued cats. I would tell you about my husband who's on the NC coast right now and about his adventure with hatching sea turtles. In other words. I would be a self-soother for you.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:28 PM
    mogrann
    WG it would not be soothing. I have a phone phobia I avoid it at all costs. I can't even phone my children. I text or talk on Facebook. Hubby calls for me for most appointments. If I absolutely have to I will do it but it provokes anxiety attacks. No idea why I have it but I do.
    Hatching sea turtles that sounds awesome I love turtles
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:31 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mogrann View Post
    Hatching sea turtles that sounds awesome I love turtles

    And oh, he had quite a story to tell me. The eggs are hatching now along the Wilmington coast. There's a huge human effort to get those babies into the ocean before the sea gulls pick them off. For more of the story, I'd have to call you. :D I'd even pick your very smart brain. I have questions that he couldn't answer.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:37 PM
    mogrann
    Sorry WG. No phone for this person
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:40 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mogrann View Post
    Sorry WG. No phone for this person

    Would Owen call me? I want to tell my sea turtle story and ask my questions.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 06:55 PM
    Alty
    Please, lets respect that Mogrann does not want to communicate by phone. That's not helpful right now. She's already expressed very clearly that that's not an option, so it's best to let it drop.

    Mogrann, I know you can handle this, you've handled far worse than this. Use your skills. If you have to, even though it's not a pleasant though, go to the hospital. The most important thing is taking care of what you need right now, to get over this hump. It is just a hump. It's not permanent. You know that.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 07:10 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Please, lets respect that Mogrann does not want to communicate by phone. That's not helpful right now. She's already expressed very clearly that that's not an option, so it's best to let it drop.

    I wanted to get a chuckle out of her. She knows Owen can't talk to me.
  • Oct 5, 2013, 07:19 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I wanted to get a chuckle out of her. She knows Owen can't talk to me.

    I understand that, but the state of mind she's in right now, it's just stressing her out more. I know. I've been there.
  • Oct 6, 2013, 10:48 AM
    mogrann
    Thank you both. Yes WG I understand you had good intentions but to be honest a fake chuckle makes me feel like I am posting for just attention. I know that is my judgements but heck who would I be without my odd judgements. :)
    I have not figured out what is going on but I have made some progress.
    1. Been using skills and diary cards
    2. Going out today and getting sneakers then joining a gym for 10 a month. I think part of the problem is Insanity work out is too hard on me physically. That was leading to self hatred and judgements.
    3. I will combat my binging by only eating at meal times. If I want a snack I have to sit down in wise mind and think do I really want it or is it emotional eating /binge eating.

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