Ask Me Help Desk - My mom hate me

So I'm 26 years old and I am married and I have a son 7 months. When I was living home with my family I was doing house work everyday. I never had time for myself like other young girls did. I went to school and didn't finish because of stress home. My Dad loves me he never want to see me getting hurt because he know how hard I work. I was young and did some mistakes like everybody else .

Then when I got married my husband didn't have a job or a house. He was new here. My husband loves me so much and he is a great dad . But my mom always say to people that what kind of husband I have. She hate him because he don't give money to her. She call me and say so many things to me that will hurt me. My husband respect my parent. And my dad like my husband they are good friends. I was very sick for some weeks now she never call or text me to know how I'm doing. When I got my son I went to her to ask if I can get some money and I will pay back. She gave me the money but she called me after all this time I was sick she never call. I did not pick up the phone and she sent message saying that she need her money back. I told her that I will pay soon when my husband get money.

After that she sent 2 message that hurt me and made me cry. She go behind my back and talks bad things about me. I did talk to my dad and I told him that I love my husband and I want to have a family like them. My dad ask me to talk to my mom and I did but the way she was talking to me made me think that maybe she is not my mom. She said that I'm stupid, call me names. I told her that I don't have time to fight. I have a husband to think about and my son. She always want me to do what she want. She stopped my young brothers to come to see me. Only my sisters come. I don't know what to do anymore. My husband tell me not to call my mom if I feel sad every time I talk to her. I need help.

How long ago did you borrow the money? When did you promise to pay it back? It was a loan, so she has a right to ask for it back. Are you hoping that by ignoring her calls she'll forget about the loan?

Is your husband working now? If so, why haven't you paid off the loan you mother gave you? I don't think she'd loan you money if she hates you.

If she didn't allow your brothers to visit, and they're children, that's her right as a mother. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

Sounds like there's another side to this story. Your mothers side. What would she say if she posted here?

I would say that, unless there are cultural circumstances to consider here, it is time for you to grow up and cut the apron strings.

You have your own family now, and a baby, and that comes first. If you and your mother cannot resolve differences as mature women, then it is time to leave her be. I would guess that she would come around when you stop trying so hard, because if nothing else, she will want to see her grandchild.

Your husband has given you good advice. Don't talk to her if she makes you cry all the time. Stop that wedge from affecting your marriage.

Do what you can to pay your mother back even if it is a few dollars a week. Keep a journal of what you pay, and when. Maybe if she's getting a little each week she won't be such a negative, name calling, demanding, unreasonable person.

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Originally Posted by Alty

How long ago did you borrow the money? When did you promise to pay it back? It was a loan, so she has a right to ask for it back. Are you hoping that by ignoring her calls she'll forget about the loan?

Is your husband working now? If so, why haven't you paid off the loan you mother gave you? I don't think she'd loan you money if she hates you.

If she didn't allow your brothers to visit, and they're children, that's her right as a mother. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

Sounds like there's another side to this story. Your mothers side. What would she say if she posted here?

it was on my wedding day and its was for 4weeks ago. My husband he just started to go to school for one weeks ago. My mom didn't want to give me the money, is my Dad begde her for me. We Will pay her the end of this months

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake2008

I would say that, unless there are cultural circumstances to consider here, it is time for you to grow up and cut the apron strings.

You have your own family now, and a baby, and that comes first. If you and your mother cannot resolve differences as mature women, then it is time to leave her be. I would guess that she would come around when you stop trying so hard, because if nothing else, she will want to see her grandchild.

Your husband has given you good advice. Don't talk to her if she makes you cry all the time. Stop that wedge from affecting your marriage.

Do what you can to pay your mother back even if it is a few dollars a week. Keep a journal of what you pay, and when. Maybe if she's getting a little each week she won't be such a negative, name calling, demanding, unreasonable person.

Whe I tell my mom that I have a family now she always say that they are my family first and she don't like to hear me talks how Much my husband and my son mean to me. She said that why I put my husband first. I respect her but she have to know that I have a son to think about. I can not Do what she want

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Originally Posted by Victoire213

it was on my wedding day and its was for 4weeks ago. My husband he just started to go to school for one weeks ago. My mom didn't want to give me the money, is my Dad begde her for me. We Will pay her the end of this months

You only asked her for money a month ago? That's not what you said in your original post.

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Whe I got my son I went to her to Ask if I can Get some money and I Will pay back

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I have a son for 7months

If you asked her for money after your son was born, which is what you said, then it was 7 months ago, not one month.

You were pregnant for 9 months, your son was born 7 months ago, why did your husband just start school a week ago? What was he waiting for?

You said:

Quote:

But my mom always say to people that what kind of husband I have. She hate him because he don't give money to her.

The only one giving money is your mom, from what you posted. If she's paying for you to survive, when you're an adult, married, with a child, I can understand her being upset with a man that's married to her daughter, that hasn't done anything to help his family.

I think you need to wake up, and take responsibility for your life instead of relying on your mom to help you out. You borrowed money, you need to pay it back. Your husband, the father of your child, needs to find work, or you do. Your parents aren't responsible for you anymore. Stop being daddy's princess. Your mother has the right idea, cut the apron strings and make you stand on your own two feet. You're not a child anymore, you're a mother! Time to grow up.