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-   -   Breaking up but different. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=76970)

  • Mar 28, 2007, 08:51 PM
    thedayafters
    Breaking up but different.
    So my girlfriend of 15 months and I have kind of just called it quits. Unfortunately she says she still loves me, still is in love with me, and wants to be with me in the future, but just needs a little bit of time now. Things were kind of rocky towards the end and I do believe that she wants to be with me. She still wants me to call during the day, and we are still going to be hanging out. Its hard though cause I'm still hurt about the breakup and its even harder to get over her or be happy if she says she still wants to be with me in the future.

    What do I do? Is she telling the truth? Do I wait it out for now?

    I do love her very much and do agree that we may have needed a little bit of time off, and I do want to continue to be her friend. I'm just scared of losing her or pushing her further away.
  • Mar 28, 2007, 09:00 PM
    sypher373
    It sounds as though she may be trying to let you down easy. I would suggest taking a step back and looking at the relationship as a whole. If she loves you, is in love with you, and wants to be with you, why doesn't she want to be with you now?

    Maybe a serious conversation with her to get all the facts would help. I believe it is in your own best interest to minimize contact and hanging out during the period off. She cannot ask you for time, and expect you to be there with her still. That is not giving herself time.
  • Mar 28, 2007, 09:27 PM
    thedayafters
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sypher373
    It sounds as though she may be trying to let you down easy. I would suggest taking a step back and looking at the relationship as a whole. If she loves you, is in love with you, and wants to be with you, why doesn't she want to be with you now?

    Maybe a serious conversation with her to get all the facts would help. I believe it is in your own best interest to minimize contact and hanging out during the period of time off. She cannot ask you for time, and expect you to be there with her still. That is not giving herself time.

    Let me also go on and state that she has been extremely social lately and I have been getting very jealous, so there is reason she wants the time off, she wants to be able to be with her friends without the pressure of thinking she is going to make me uspet. I just don't know what I should do.
  • Mar 29, 2007, 03:23 AM
    bobic
    I am in the same boat cept me and my mrs where together 3 years but I am finding it tricky I am trying no contact but because we share a lot of friends it is hard wish girls would sort their heads out !
  • Mar 29, 2007, 10:06 AM
    talaniman
    She asked for space and time so give it to her. Leave her alone and do not contact her period, and get busy building a life you enjoy without her. Not easy but it must be done. Be very unavailable to her when she calls. I say this because it sounds like she wants to be single and still have you in her life. Not fair to you or your feelings. If you weren't blinded by love you would see this.

    This also applies to you Bobic, every word.
  • May 16, 2007, 02:30 PM
    Sdjosh
    Well... sorry to say I'm not in the boat alone. I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone. I was with my girl for 7 years and bought a house for us and was building a life when she decided she needed to figure her life out. She moved up north 500 miles away. She says she loves me and wants to be with me but she just needs time to be her... to figure out her. (we started dating when she was just 20 fresh out of her parents house) We both kind of lost ourselves in the relationship. She thinks we just need some time apart to grow as people. Its been almost 7 months and she still calls me almost everyday. Haha... and no matter how much I mess up and let my emotions fly... or how much I mess up over the phone and whine about us... she won't let go. She just says to me... stop being crazy, I love you, deal with it.

    She has my heart... that pain in the butt.

    But the best advice I can give is that if you are going to be her friend... don't be a doormat... do not pry into her personal life unless she brings it up... don't be jealous or confront her on what she is doing or who she is hanging out with. Most important is use this time you have apart to grow as a person. Even though it is hard as hell, go out with your friends, make plans to have fun, and do you. Im not saying you have to go out and date but just having fun and working on you will be a vast improvement. She will be able to tell a difference but most importantly... you will be happy with the improvements you have made.
  • May 16, 2007, 05:26 PM
    mckenzie134
    Do not contact at all wait for her to contact you. DO NOT CALL OR TEXT Don't DO ANYTHING> If you want her back she must must MUST ignitiate contact and don't be available YOU HAVE BEEN WAY TO AVAILABLE AND SHE IS HATING THAT>

    LET HER MISS YOU SHE WILL LOVE YOU FOR IT

    Let us know how your doing
  • May 17, 2007, 09:50 PM
    mckenzie134
    Well any updat on your situation??

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