I was involved with a guy for a short short period,When I told him I was pregnant he said he is not ready for a child,and he don't want to have a child with me,and if I will keep that baby I'm going to be on my own,he said he is not going to be involved,he even said he wish I could die with the baby,and that was the last time I saw him.He was the only guy that I was with at that time.. It was hard for me at that time because I was unemployed,During pregnancy I was all alone without him,but thanks to my family they were with me in every step of the way.But now he phoned me and he want to see the child,and its hard for me to let him see our daughter,She is 3 yrs nw.

If he wants to start regular visits and be part of the cihld's life, that is great, that happens at times when men mature.

I will assume you have already went though court and have custody of child, and that he is paying court ordered child support, since that is the normal and standard procedure when the father is absence.

He can of course file in court for court ordered visitatoin, which is his right, unless he is a danger to the child he will get visitation.

I would want to know why the change, and if this is just a one time visit, or if he plans on making this a regular visitation.

If he is not paying child support "Why" that is what you should have been taking care of and it should be though the court

He is not paying a child support,because I think if he is paying a child support its his right to see a child,and I don't think the child is safe around him because of what he said.

You have several choices here. One is to send him a picture of her, and say 'If you want to be in her life, you need to pay 3 years of child support, and monthly from now on.'

The burden is on him to go to court for a DNA test and some sort of custody arrangement and support. You will tell the court what he said, and he will present his proof of stable environment and financial ability, and the court will decide. There are many kinds of shared arrangements.

How many years back you can collect support goes by state. If you want that support and you are willing to accept some sort of custody arrangement, file in Family court now, yourself, without waiting for him.

He was irresponsible and uncaring, and you were naïve and foolish. You now have a child together, and need to work this out.

I understand it is hard for you. Unfortunately for you, you have little choice.

He is the father (according to you) and therefore he has the rights of any father under the law. He will have to go to court to enforce those rights, but in all likelihood, he will get them. Unless you can prove he is a danger to the child (and just saying he wished you and the baby would die is not near enough), he will get some level of visitation. You can probably get that to be supervised visitation in the beginning.But he will get some.

As to child support, did you ever go after him for support? If not, then he doesn't owe any. But you can file for support now. However, most areas hold support and visitation separately, so he can get visitation without paying support.

You made a decision to have sex with this person. That decision has consequences. You are now facing those consequences. You don't say how old you both were when you conceived, but its entirely possible he wasn't mature enough to handle fatherhood at the time. Three years can make a difference in a person and the court will very much take that into account.

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Originally Posted by puly

He is not paying a child support,because I think if he is paying a child support its his right to see a child,....

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You think incorrectly.

As Scott indicated, child support and visitation are separate matters. Whether he pays child support doesn't affect whether he gets visitation.

Howerver what he said when you got pregnant means little in determining whether he should be allowed to see the child now. Without a custody/ visitation order in place, both parents have full rights to custody of the child, in most places. So, again contrary to your incorrect assumption, he now has the right to see the child.

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Originally Posted by AK lawyer

Howerver what he said when you got pregnant means little in determining whether he should be allowed to see the child now. Without a custody/ visitation order in place, both parents have full rights to custody of the child, in most places. So, again contrary to your incorrect assumption, he now has the right to see the child.

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Let me clarify this. He may not yet have the right to see the child. We don't know if he is listed on the birth certificate or signed an acknowledgment of paternity (I assume neither). Until he is declared the legal father, then he has no rights to the child. But that doesn't mean he can't get those rights. He will probably have to petition a court to be declared the legal father and for visitation. In all likelihood, a court will grant him that petition.

Until that time, you can withhold the child from him. The court may not look kindly on you if you do, but you wouldn't be breaking the law if you did.

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Retroactive Child Support

"Retroactive child support allows a court to order support for an earlier period when no order was in place, even reaching years back to a child's birth....Retroactive child support isn't mandatory or automatic. The custodial parent must specifically ask for retroactive support.....Generally, courts don't make awards retroactive. However, there are several reasons that may justify retroactive child support, including:
A non-custodial parent concealed part of their finances or intentionally avoided support
A final hearing on support has been delayed
A parent seeking support shows need
Courts have leeway when it comes to deciding child support issues, including awarding retroactive support. Even so, a specific request may be denied...
When calculating retroactive child support, most courts order a non-custodial parent to pay based on the income earned at the time in question. A court may also consider whether or not the non-custodial parent knew that support was required. Another factor is if the non-custodial parent paid any money to the custodial parent...
Usually, retroactive support can be ordered back to the date the parents separated. If the parents weren't married, retroactive support can be ordered back to the date of the child's birth. However, each state sets a time limit on how far back a judge can order retroactive child support."