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-   -   He's clean. I'm a virgin. What are the risks? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=768217)

  • Sep 22, 2013, 12:57 AM
    hoping4answers
    He's clean. I'm a virgin. What are the risks?
    I am having unprotected anal sex instead of vaginal sex (believing it to be a "safer" alternative. I have never had vaginal sex before, so I believe that I am "clean". He says that he has been tested a few years ago for any infections/diseases and the results were clean. Has only been with me since then. We have also had oral sex but only with each other. What are the risks here?

    Also, we both just turned 18. Planning on moving out by the summer of '14. And the reason why we haven't actually had vaginal sex yet is because I am very scared of the social consequences. We both come from very religious families. I'm scared just to ask my mom to go to the OBGYN just because I know how that fight will end.
  • Sep 22, 2013, 01:02 AM
    joypulv
    The risk is that he isn't telling you the truth.
  • Sep 22, 2013, 01:04 AM
    hoping4answers
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    The risk is that he isn't telling you the truth.
    I trust him very much with that info. So, I'm glad to know that's not an issue. But could I possibly have something? Even if I am a virgin?
  • Sep 22, 2013, 01:18 AM
    joypulv
    The main condition you could have as a virgin is a yeast infection (of the vagina or anus), and yeast can be transmitted to a sexual partner. You would have a white discharge if in the vagina, like cottage cheese, and it would probably itch. Yeast moves in when the pH of the vagina is out of balance. Having vaginal sex can lead to UTI, urinary tract infection, because bacteria get in through tiny cuts in the skin. Anal sex can certainly transmit existing conditions just as vaginal sex can, but not if you don't have any disease already.

    There are treatments for yeast at drugstores.
  • Sep 22, 2013, 05:13 AM
    ScottGem
    Sexual intimacy is sex. I don't know of any religion that differentiates between intercourse and any type of sexual intimacy. So, if you have been avoiding intercourse because of religious reasons, that is being hypocritical.

    What risks are you wondering about? STDs, pregnancy?

    As far as mom taking you to the OB/Gyn at 18, you should be able to go on your own.
  • Sep 22, 2013, 03:09 PM
    smoothy
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hoping4answers View Post
    I trust him very much with that info. So, I'm glad to know that's not an issue. But could I possibly have something? Even if I am a virgin?
    Hopefully you are right... but experience has proven many people are somewhat dishonest about this topic for a number of reasons... or they really don't know because some people are carriers that never experience outward symptoms of the disease, or just haven't had it long enough to have them yet. And as was mentioned... guys can be carriers of yeast infection and never know it, which is is one likely reason among others for women who might be monogamous and have frequent recurrences.
  • Sep 23, 2013, 06:26 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    Men normally lie about sexual history and why a test 4 year ago, why not new one now just to be sure. There are of course infection issues that can associate with anal sex.
    And I am not sure what the "religious families" would consider about this either
  • Sep 23, 2013, 07:32 AM
    CravenMorhead
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hoping4answers View Post
    I am having unprotected anal sex instead of vaginal sex (believing it to be a "safer" alternative. I have never had vaginal sex before, so I believe that I am "clean". He says that he has been tested a few years ago for any infections/diseases and the results were clean. Has only been with me since then. We have also had oral sex but only with each other. What are the risks here?
    The risks are:
    1). Pregnancy. Semen aren't going to stay in your butt. If they leak out then you could get pregnant.
    2). Did you see the sheet of paper that said no infections? Chances are he's honest. What if he isn't? He's been sexually active before you and depending on the time lines he could have an STI but it hadn't developed enough to be caught.
    3). Proper Hygiene. I have nothing against ButtSex. The issue comes when you examine what is in your butt. Which is to say loads of bacteria. Most of it won't be able to survive, but some can. Depending on how clean you both are you could get a stomach bug if you give him oral and he's not clean.
    4). Blowing out the O-Ring. I assume you know all about lube and proper anal techniques. You can injure the anal sphincter if he's too vigrous, you're not relaxed enough, or you're not using lube. Could lead to anal leakage, as well as other awkward conditions.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hoping4answers View Post
    Also, we both just turned 18. Planning on moving out by the summer of '14. And the reason why we haven't actually had vaginal sex yet is because I am very scared of the social consequences. We both come from very religious families. I'm scared just to ask my mom to go to the OBGYN just because I know how that fight will end.
    What social consequences are you afraid of? You might need to deal with those on your own.

    Going to the OBGYN doesn't mean you're having sex. It means that you care about your reproductive health. A lot of people, who aren't in a relationship, go to the OB. It is good to check for such ailments as Cervical Cancer. Also, because of doctor patient confidentiality, you can get birth control without your mother knowing.

    Good luck.

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