Ask Me Help Desk - I need to move on... but how?

Hello, I am in love with a girl but she rejected me, but she told me she likes me as a friend, but I can't see her a friend. So for her happiness I behaved like a friend. But even for friendship all time I should always have to start the talk, but when she had some issues or bad time she always asks my company.

In between I changed my workplace, but still continued our relation. I can't control my mind because I never seen her as a friend. I attached to her too too much and again proposed her, but this time she didn't answer me. I asked her think and tell me.. take three days and told me no in the end.I hoped a lot, but that was her answer. I asked why she took three days to tell no. She said she didn't want give me pain, but actually she given did that with saying no. I just kept silent. Didn't want to argue, but I have continued her friendship. I don't know why, I hoped.for a change in her mind.

In the meantime suddenly she stopped coming online. I called her but she didn't picked up. Finally she picked up and told me she is busy in the office. I felt angry in her words. I kept silent. She totally stopped communicarion with me. I am confused and upset. I again called her, sent mails, but no replies. Finally I have sent one mail into her official id. She got really angry. Told me go to hell. Said she don't want any relation with me. Told me to get lost. I don't know what I did wrong to her. I have suffered all my pain and tried to be her friend at least even she don't respect me as a friend. She told me I am harasing her. She will complain to her manager because of that mail to her official id.

I don't know what to do now.

Leave her alone and stop making a pest of yourself. That's what you do now. There is no friendship. She has been giving you hints but you have ignored them.

Thanks for your reply talaniman. But I I believe thr is a way of doing things.. if she don't want to have any relation.. she shd have tld me clearly in a good way and left with a mutual understanding... and I have tld her many times that for your happiness only am acting as a friend... and when is she is down... she behaves so close to me and I tried my lever best to comfort her, but when she gets oky.. she is making herself unavailable to me.. thr only prblm begin.. for examble... she don't want to work in her present org,, because of salary issues.. she was so down when she got only less increment in her salary... tld me she want to search for new job.. dnt want to work thr.. so I tld her send resume... and I also findout somany good offers and forwarded to her.. even I tld one my friend and he arranged a good offer for her... but she did nt send her resume to me and whenever I asked her she tld she vl send.. but did nt.my friend too angry at me because he has blocked that job for on week... she did nt even applied a single job I send to her... time passed she went oky.. whn she little issues coming in office she use to come to me again with her prblms... I tried my level best to help her... loved deeply with all her mood swings and negatives witout expecting anthg... just hoped that she vl change.. but she did nt... finally blamed me... tht what makes me so upset... I never did anthg wrng.. just want her to happy... but she tld me GO TO HELL... hurted me so much...

You believe there is a way of 'doing things?'
I didn't know you wrote the book on relationships.
She found you convenient for telling her troubles to, and you should have seen it for what it was.
You don't seem to get that we all suffer over love at times in our lives, and that's the way of the world.
There's no 'right' or wrong either, or fair or unfair. Yes, she hurt you telling you to get lost and go to hell. That's how it happens when you don't stop contacting someone. Complaining about her job doesn't mean you are free to keep finding new ways to contact her about jobs!
You are actually in danger now of being accused of stalking and harassment, so for your own good, STOP all communication, including trying to help her get a better job.
It's for your own good emotionally too. 'No contact rule' means just that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

You believe there is a way of 'doing things?'
I didn't know you wrote the book on relationships.
She found you convenient for telling her troubles to, and you should have seen it for what it was.
You don't seem to get that we all suffer over love at times in our lives, and that's the way of the world.
There's no 'right' or wrong either, or fair or unfair. Yes, she hurt you telling you to get lost and go to hell. That's how it happens when you don't stop contacting someone. Complaining about her job doesn't mean you are free to keep finding new ways to contact her about jobs!
You are actually in danger now of being accused of stalking and harassment, so for your own good, STOP all communication, including trying to help her get a better job.
It's for your own good emotionally too. 'No contact rule' means just that.

Hmm you are right Joy... I understand my position in her life... I have a send a sorry message to her for sending mails to her official ID... and explained the situation why I did... she did nt replied me.. let it be... I only did one thng loved her deeply... wanted to get married with her... tried my level best to convince her... but I cant... her life.. she have to decide.. no contacts with her last four days.. I talk to all my friends.. evrbdy suggested what you just tld... stop contacting... yes am in the process of moving on... but she accused me for nthg... tht only hurting me so much... I never mean to harass her , never intended... and how can person forget all the good thngs because of little mistake... strange..

Sometimes people are mean to actually get you to not like them anymore.
Usually they just don't care!
But still, consider it a good deed on her part. She did you a favor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

Sometimes people are mean to actually get you to not like them anymore.
Usually they just don't care!
But still, consider it a good deed on her part. She did you a favor.

By the time being am nt in a position to think that she did me a favour... coz I am hurt that much... if she want to leave me lyk this.. shd have done it before... coz she very clearly know the fact that am in love with her... sometimes she has given me many positive signs that she had smthg.. tht made my hope alive... but its oky may be she didn't meant anthg... its my thght only... watever it may be.. I don't want to judge anybdy... I loved her.. let her be happy... whrever she is...