Ask Me Help Desk - Why is My ex ignoring me?

So my boyfriend of 3 years decided to end things with me because he says I don't see him a lot and because of my parents and how they are strict and don't give me the freedom I should get. I always try my best to see him as often as possible. He told he that I made him the happiest he's ever been and he wanted to give me a promise ring on my birthday.

The ignoring began after my mom made comments to him that she has her rules and she raised me different from how his parents raised him (They let him go wherever he wants) and he got offended saying that my mom shouldn't judge his parents. He's ignored me completely for a couple of days now for something I didn't say and for something that wasn't my fault. I miss and love him so much. We've been together for a long time I don't understand why he is taking it out on me. He talks to everyone else but me and I'm the one feeling hurt because this was not my fault.

Tell him how much you care for him. Tell him that you feel its not fair that he seems to be taking what your mom said out on you. That you wish he would keep giving your relationship a chance. How old are the 2 of you?

I have told him how I felt and that I care for him and he doesn't respond to me. I'm 21 and he's 20 I still live at home with my parents and they are very strict that's why he gets mad but it is not my fault I should not be held responsible for what my mom said to him. I defended him the whole time and was on his side and I get treated this way. I've spent 3 years of my life with him and this is how he treats me.

How old are you both? It's a big red flag when a guy cannot abide by or understand the rules that you must live by. Since he is ignoring you, don't chase or contact him in any way.

He has to come to the conclusion he misses you on his own. And its in no way the fault of your parents, it's all him, and his attitude and being use to doing as he pleases. I wish I could stop the hurt, but I cannot. But if he were not so spoiled, and selfish, he would live within the rules, wouldn't he?

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Originally Posted by Cr_2010

I have told him how I felt and that I care for him and he doesn't respond to me. I'm 21 and he's 20 I still live at home with my parents and they are very strict that's why he gets mad but it is not my fault I should not be held responsible for what my mom said to him. I defended him the whole time and was on his side and I get treated this way. I've spent 3 years of my life with him and this is how he treats me.

Do you have a job, why are you still living at home? But since you're living there you do have to follow their rules. He's been dating you 3 years, he ought to know the drill by now. Maybe she hurt his feelings but at 20, I'd say he's acting pretty childish. He's old enough that he ought to be able to talk to you instead of ignoring you.
Maybe he has met someone who has a little more freedom.

Quote:

So my boyfriend of 3 years decided to end things with me because he says I don't see him a lot and because of my parents and how they are strict and don't give me the freedom I should get. I always try my best to see him as often as possible. He told he that I made him the happiest he's ever been and he wanted to give me a promise ring on my birthday.

The ignoring began after my mom made comments to him that she has her rules and she raised me different from how his parents raised him (They let him go wherever he wants) and he got offended saying that my mom shouldn't judge his parents. He's ignored me completely for a couple of days now for something I didn't say and for something that wasn't my fault. I miss and love him so much. We've been together for a long time I don't understand why he is taking it out on me. He talks to everyone else but me and I'm the one feeling hurt because this was not my fault.

He ended the relationship. It may seem harsh, but he should be ignoring you and you should be ignoring him. Letting go isn't easy and adding confusion from trying to maintain contact only makes it harder.

The argument sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back. He is tired and not wanting to deal with it anymore. You cannot make him try again or put any more energy into the relationship.

You may think it is unfair. It isn't. You have both made decisions based on your needs and abilities to fulfill them. You have chosen to live at home and by the rules set down by your parents. He has chosen to walk away due to the restrictions their rules put on your time and interactions with him. It isn't one thing or one time. It is a lot of things over a long period.

If you believe your parents are too strict and you cannot stand their rules, then find a way to live on your own.

I do not suggest trying to get back together until the issues causing the problems in your prior relationship have been taken care of. If you try again with the same circumstances, you will only end up repeating what you have already been through.

At 21 you get a job, save money and move Out on your own. Hopefully it won't be too late and he will see a change.

I agree with Cat1864. I think this guy is tired of dealing with your parents and your mom saying this to him was the last straw. You choose to be where you are and put up with it and he has chosen to not deal with it any longer. Maybe you are comfortable with your life, but he is not.