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-   -   What am I doing wrong? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=767840)

  • Sep 19, 2013, 10:03 AM
    amd82
    What am I doing wrong?
    This is a trend I've noticed with a few different women, but basically they say that it hurts when I have sex with them. I'm not a "big guy" (7 inches) and I don't play rough (unless asked to), but basically most women say to me that it begins to hurt after a few minutes, if I go fast, slow, or in between. Especially after they reach orgasm, which I know it's more sensitive anyway, but I'm feeling sexually frustrated lately.

    Our sex life lately just sticks to oral sex which is fine for awhile but I want to make love to her, but we've been together for a year now, and we haven't had normal sex in 2 months. She said to me that she's afraid she will be in pain, and I don't want to cause her this pain. When I try to talk to her about it, she looks like she's about to cry, so maybe I'm being too direct or something.

    In total I'd say about half the women I've been with have had this problem so is it a common thing, or am I too big, or is there something that I could do to make her more comfortable.

    Would really appreciate any advice.

    Thanks.
  • Sep 19, 2013, 10:28 AM
    CravenMorhead
    The woman's Vagina is designed to push out a baby. Unless your pecker is bigger then a baby, then size isn't an issue.

    There could be a variety of issues. Probably lube, or lack there of, is your problem. You're chaffing her inner bits. You said that after they go, you still haven't. Why is this? It is usually the other way around, and could explain why things hurt.

    How do they describe the hurt? Have you both been tested to STIs? What sort of protection are you using?

    Size isn't the issue here.
  • Sep 19, 2013, 02:03 PM
    amd82
    Definitely not as big as a baby! That'd be awkward, so yeah I've a baby sized penis, care to rub it :O

    Anyway, I've never used lube of any kind. I'm always afraid of something like the condom slipping off, or breaking which has happened before in the heat of the moment with previous partners.

    She had HPV from a previous partner, so we are always careful as can be.

    Regarding the reason why I don't finish, to be honest, I don't get off on me finishing as quickly as possible. I want her to enjoy it, that's always been my philosophy.

    Cheers
    Andrew
  • Sep 20, 2013, 07:10 AM
    CravenMorhead
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by amd82 View Post
    Definitely not as big as a baby!! That'd be awkward, so yeah I've a baby sized penis, care to rub it :O
    Which is to say that penis size is all in the mind of men. Anything over a few inches will do. Get over yourself.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by amd82 View Post
    Anyway, I've never used lube of any kind. I'm always afraid of something like the condom slipping off, or breaking which has happened before in the heat of the moment with previous partners.

    She had HPV from a previous partner, so we are always careful as can be.
    Well that is the problem. I have found that the lube on condoms is often not enough and dries out quickly. Which leads to chaffing. Which is never nice. As an exercise, do a REALLY long masturbation session with a condom. Notice how dry the condom gets. Imagine that is the inside of your partner. It will never really get that dry but her natural lube might not be able to keep up.

    Try some lube and see how it goes.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by amd82 View Post
    Regarding the reason why I don't finish, to be honest, I don't get off on me finishing as quickly as possible. I want her to enjoy it, that's always been my philosophy.
    Good for you.

    I am assuming that you're doing other things to help her get off. It isn't just thrusting.

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