As mentioned in the subject line I wish to understand can a man TRULY love 2 women at the same time. And is it possible that he is just in his emotional exchange and can he share the love equally with both the ladies??

What does 'just in his emotional exchange' mean?
Of course, anyone can love more than one person at a time. Societal pressures have evolved over thousands of years to monogamy, requiring that we concentrate our love on one person when it involves a mate. Romance as we know it now is relatively new. As we search for a mate, many of us fall in love with two, three, countless people as we sort out who we want most and who wants us. Many lose someone to death or other loss and continue to love that person while finding someone else to love. It's a waste of energy trying to measure each love. You love or you don't.

A year ago you were upset by an online relationship that failed. I hope this isn't another one of those.

Why wouldn't it be possible? I've been in love with more than one person before and just because I am monogamous now doesn't mean I stopped loving the other one.

It is possible to love 2 people at the same time, but equally in that sort of relationship, no I don't believe so because your heart is going to be with one more than the other. Even in loving your kids there are different qualities that you love about each one, but in that case it usually balances out. But in a romantic relationship you will tend to love one more. Like I look at the relationship I am in now and I miss my old boyfriend more than I love who I am with now. So while I agree you can love more than one person very much, in a romantic relationship I do not agree with equally, especially at the same time.

Hello B:

I'm still in love with EVERY girl I EVER loved, and that includes Jane Crocker in the 2nd grade.

excon

I always was in love with Lindsey Wagner and her bionic ways.

I look at people that are in poly relationships. I think some of them work out and they work through any jealousy etc. It depends on the people involved and the honesty.
I don't believe that someone who is cheating on one person loves two people as one person does not know about the other person. If you love a person I feel you are honest and want the best for them, lying and cheating is not the best.

Exactly, if you are cheating on someone then your heart tends to be on one or the other more. You may be more wanting to stick with your main girl, but you aren't devoted to her as you should or you wouldn't be cheating. Your heart might be with the fling, but your attention is still on your main girl. It just can't fairly balance out.

Yes but if you are honest with all parties, which I was, it is quite possible. But of course you run the risk of the other parties not fully engaging until you commit completely.

Hello again,

To be clear, I'm speaking about love, NOT commitment. They're two different things. I do NOT advocate DOING anything about it. I'm simply talking about EXPERIENCING it.

excon

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Yes but if you are honest with all parties, which I was, it is quite possible. But of course you run the risk of the other parties not fully engaging until you commit completely.

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But you were monogamous as far as not 2 at the same time?
I think OP wants to know more about someone dividing their attention to two women at the same time, which we are all comparing past relationships with current.

Me too. I dated 2 people who I equally loved. They new about each other. But once I committed to one, I stayed with one. That doesn't mean I stopped loving the other.

You never stop loving someone. In rare cases of abuse, even then there is something you still love. That is why it is so hard for people to quit loving the abuser. But yes you have to commit to one, but then you usually aren't loving them equally. You have a special place in your heart for the other, when you do finally commit to the one completely.

Yes its possible for a man (or woman) to love others, but if you don't like sharing this man then don't.

Thanks for your reply. Well no this one is pretty much real time. We met for work and just after the first meet in the evening he sent me a message and initiated a general hi hello talk. Soon we became friends and he shared about his girlfriend and the problems etc. I gave him some suggestions. He is committed to her since 5 years and quite wants to marry her. His family knows about it too. But the girl's family isn't agreeing that's where the problem is. But they are still going around together. And in the meanwhile exchanging and sharing as good friends we just happened to fall for each other too. So one day it just hit me that as per me a person can't love more than one person at the same time with complete equality in a romantic relationship. That's why I put this question up here to understand different opinions. Its very beautiful. And both of us have felt the same thing that its something very different that we feel with each other. Like for example when we hug each other we kind of forget the world and all our problems get shed and we experience a very blissful feeling after the hug. So this is just one small example. Although knowing that he is committed to someone else both if us keep ourselves controlled while exchanging emotions such that there is no injustice to the girl whom he is committed to, Yet not sure if he loving me while being committed to the other is already injustice to her.

I love your reply talaniman. Thanks for taking out time. Though my reason for asking this question in the forum was to understand whether I am an option or priority, like he is already committed to a girl since 5 years, And its recently that we have fallen for each other even after knowing that he is committed, He shares stuff and problems about his girlfriend to me. I respect their relationship. But at the same time both of us have accepted that we love each other too. Then one day I questioned him on this because for me actually its like a person can't equally love two people at the same time with equality- I mean in a romantic relationship that is. Coz that's the way I am. But may be he is different because he told me its possible for him as he practically is loving two women at the same time and sharing the same emotions with both. We feel beautiful being together. Feel blissful when we hug. So its all good. Just that I am a little bothered in the head because one I don't want any injustice to the girl whom he is committed to, And second the thought that a person can't love more than one person at the same time with complete equality.

I feel pretty much the same that a person can't love more than one person with compete equality at the same time. Then my next question is what am I supposed to do then? And how am I to find out whether now he loves me more than the girl who he is committed to since 5 years or he still loves her more than me? And then what am I supposed to do about it either way?

You are already doing the other female an injustice, as is he, carrying on this "love" behind her back. I would let him find another female to cheat with. As long as you are willing to entertain him, he has no need to resolve his issues with her, or commit to you. Obviously your counsel to him about them cannot be unbiased, nor has it worked.

So this love triangle continues. Equal, or not. You both are options since, for whatever reason, the other female is unattainable, and you have made yourself available as a willing substitute for good, orderly direction.