I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years and we have had more bad times than good , in last past year we had a son , my first , and his 8th . We have lived together on and off over the years but since my son was born we have been living with our parents until finances are better . We rarely communicate or talk , he comes around on a daily basis for a few minutes and then he's gone with his friends for the most part of the day , unless I starting complaining about it , then he will straighten up and back to the same ole thing . We say we are getting married but I have no ring , and I just do t believe a word he says anymore . I really want yo be done with him . But I'm so scared of ending up alone . I know it's pothetic but . Guys are not the same any more they won't someone to take care if them , n I don't want get into anymore relationships were I got to play somebody's Moma . I just confused I love this guy buy its never going to change . What should I do

You actually had a child with a man who had 7 already? That alone should speak for him being responsible.

No, it's not going to change. It didn't change for the other baby mama's it's not going to change for you.

What should you do? Go to court, if you haven't already, and file for child support and move on so that you don't raise your child to believe that a man having 8 children by different mothers is the norm. It's not.

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Originally Posted by J_9

You actually had a child with a man who had 7 already? That alone should speak for him being responsible.

No, it's not going to change. It didn't change for the other baby mama's it's not going to change for you.

What should you do? Go to court, if you haven't already, and file for child support and move on so that you don't raise your child to believe that a man having 8 children by different mothers is the norm. It's not.

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Thank u , I just building up the courage to leave and stay gone

Living with 'our' parents? You go to his one month and yours the next?
Kick him out 100% if it's your parents.
As J-9 said, start the mechanical process. It will give you something solid to do.
You aren't alone if you have family and your child. He should get visitation of course. You will have to allow for that and not put him down as the child grows.
Now is not the time to be thinking about replacing him. Learn to be without a man for several years. It will make you strong.

Fathering 8 children is irresponsible.

"until finances are better" - does he pay child support for the other 7 or do tax payers have to pay for his family?

"then he's gone with his friends for the most part of the day" - What about him getting a job so that he can be responsible for his children?

Over the past 8 years he has shown you very clearly his behavior patterns. I am guessing they generally get no better. Settling for this bum because you don't want to end up alone is not the right answer for you. Find a man to date instead of this child you are currently dating.

He's not into you. Look at his track record,not what you thought things were. Do not make any excuses for sticking with him, not even for the sake of the baby. You will ne much more at peace being without him, you just got to get use to it.

Sounds like he's taking you for granted and no longer taking you seriously. If he's not willing to work on the relationship then why stay in it?

When you say you still love him, what do you love about him? It doesn't sound like there's much to love if he's not around. Are you sure you don't love someone he's not?

If things don't get better soon, what's the point of hanging on? You'd only be hanging on to something that may never happen (for him to change). I would say rid yourself of the misery and have a clean slate.