I was a good mother to my daughter and she's now 20 years old and married. She will graduate college soon and she works and her husband is a wonderful provider. Now she feels the need to interfere in my marriage and if my husband and I have an arguments she tells me to get a divorce. She tries to constantly tell me what to do like how to raise her siblings where to live what kind of house or car to buy or even how to I should cut my hair or how to dress my kids or what I should allow them to do. Now she is trying to drive a wedge between me and my side of the family. What can I do?

For one, don't discuss what's going on with you to her. If you want to buy a car go buy a car, don't mention to her that you need a car. When stories come back to you say, "that's not true!"

How is her side of the family not your side? Is your husband a new one, not her father? If so, do you think that might have something to do with her meddling?

In any event, I would be blunt, and tell her that you just aren't going to tell her anything you do anymore. If she gets info from younger siblings, there's not so much you can do (you don't want to try to order them to stop communication with her), but you still have the power to be standoffish. Just say 'I have to go; talk later, goodbye.'

Unless I am missing something, you give her far too much power by listening too her run her mouth so much about your business. Irritating yes, but far from a crisis since you still are the mother, so who listens and acts on the words of a mouthy brat?

The last thing I would worry about is what the rest of the family thinks of me based on what MY kid was saying. They probably sympathize with what you have to deal with. She is an adult, and will be judged by others by what she says or does. As will you.

Tell her to stay out of your business, and YOU act to keep her out, as you would any other adult with a big mouth.