Hey guys, I had this girlfriend for 4 months, and everything from the beginning up to the day we ended things was perfect. We each had out separate worlds, she's in college and I'm working, she wouldn't intrude in my life and I was always willing to give her the space she needed.

I never behaved like a wuss, like making her the center of my universe, but I always treated her right, with respect and love. Every time we would get together we would share everything and it was like nothing else mattered. I've always been the strong and emotionally independent kind of guy, until I met this girl, she broke past my defenses and made me believe that I could really love and trust somebody.

Before she met me, she used to go out with her best friend, but they never quite got into a formal relationship. When we met, she just decided to cut things off with him to focus on our relationship and the guy just went mad. He would start msging her, sending her gifts, saying that he loves her. (I know all that because she would always keep me informed, we believed in full communication)

I wanted to talk to the guy and tell him to quit it, but she convinced me that she was going to handle it. That was like the small thorn in our relationship, because I was always aware that they went back a long time, they come from the same town, they've known each other longer that I've known her and even their families know each other. (I don't know her family because they live in her home country)

Suddenly she decided to break up because she said that she had "personal issues" that she wasn't ready to share with me. After 3 long weeks of pain and suffering and begging her to try again, I found out that she was sleeping with her best friend.

I confronted her, and she then did all the - "im sorry", "i can't believe i did that to you", "i'm a terrible person", "i'm confused", "i'm not happy", "i NEED you", "i think about you all the time", "without you i feel lost", "you changed me and now when i'm with him, it's not the same" - crying routine. I told her I didn't HATE her, that I just hope she made the correct decision and I hope she's happy in her life. Let me move on and that's it.

She would keep calling me, talking to me, and like a fool I always went back to being there for her. I even started to think for a moment that I could be her friend, so that I could represent the same headache her friend gave me when I was in the relationship. But reality would always hit me, and she made me feel like her friend during the day and at night, when I needed to talk to her, she would always disappear. I realized that I was ADDICTED to her. I would wake up and the first thing I wanted to do was talk to her and listen to her. And everything was fine until she went to her new bf's house. It was like a drug, getting small fixes during the day to feel better and suffering when I had no more left. I tried the NO CONTACT a couple of times, but I would always go back after 1-2 days because she was constantly messaging me or calling me.

I finally decided one day, after she ditched me again to go out with her boyfriend, to STOP TALKING TO HER. NO EXPLAINING, NO NOTHING, ZIP, NADA, KAPUT. The next day she would start messaging me and I didn't respond, and it's been 5 days already.

The thing is that its so tough to just close the door to somebody (or slam it in her face). I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, or should I talk to her again and tell her why I decided to cut off. the thing is that I've told her that a couple of times already, I've sent her emails saying that, and it NEVER works. That's why I decided to cut things out without even a warning sign. The last thing she sent me was an Angry emoticon over the MSN Messenger. What?? She's angry at ME now?? I didn't wanted to end things like this, but it seems it's the only way.

Do I have to ignore her for ever? We usually hang out in the same places, we even have a friend's birthday coming next Saturday. I don't know if I should just erase her from my life or explain things to her (again!).

In case some of you may wonder, I haven't deleted her from my MSN because: 1. I feel like if I do it, she's out of my life FOR EVER, and I'm still not sure I want that 2. I feel like I'm running away from her, like trying to hide, and I'd rather ignore her in her face, like telling her "i'm here and I wont talk to you".

To me it sounds like obsession rather than love. As a female I can firmly say we always think the grass is greener on the other side until you get there then you want to go back. By keeping up the contact with her makes her think that if it don't work with the other guy then so what... u will always be there on the end of the phone or computer like a puppy waiting for a sign that she still wants you. You need 2 take control of your own life and make decisions for yourself stop being such a sucker... all the time your sat around waiting and wondering the right girl for you maybe passing you bye.. if it was going to work it would have. Relationships should'nt be hard work they should be fun.

You don't need to hate her, just understand and accept that she doesn't have the same feelings for you as you do for her... her cheating proved she had no respect for you.

You can still be amicable and keep "arms length" apart when you're at the same social event.

And if she wants to be mad to you... why should you care?

Hmm... A friend of mine went through something similar to this, and it tore him apart. You DO seem to be addicted to her, and I think you're most definitely doing the right thing. As tracy33 said... she's been using you as a doormat, and will continue to do so unless you put a stop to it. If I were you I wouldn't be so considerate of her feelings... She doesn't deserve that, and you deserve better, and if the only way you can move on is to have nothing to do with her? Then so be it. By contacting her to tell her WHY you're not contacting her is to fall into the same trap again.

Sometimes you have to respect yourself and not worry about how it affects someone else.

After all, she's showing you no respect - she's lied, cheated, and left you in the breeze waiting while she sorts this out. Hmm... Figure those are enough reasons to go.

Why tell her why? She can figure it out. After all, she broke up with you to be with him.

If you haven't had any contact with her in 5 days, I sincerely applaud you and back you up 1000%. You have been reduced to being her blankie. She has you by her side when she needs you but will hide you when it's inconvenient. She had to say all those things about herself "i'm terrible, how could I have dont this to you"... yada, yada, yada, she was hoping you'd rescue her once again and say, oh, you're not that bad, it's okay... but it's not. She was a lying jerk. I would say that about a man who did what she did and cause she's a woman, it's no differerent.

I'm glad you have finally found your backbone and decided enough was enough. Be honest, you cannot have a friendship with this girl, you will lose, and since you care more than her, you will lose far more.

You are doing the right thing. If you don't look out for yourself, who will? She sure as heck hasn't. You don't owe her any sort of explanation whatsoever, she's not dumb, she knows you're only trying to protect yourself and move on with some dignity. The audacity of her to be mad at you for doing so shows she's in it for herself and no one else. You took away her blankie and now the baby is really p----- off!

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Originally Posted by brucealmighty

Hey guys, I had this girlfriend for 4 months, and everything from the beginning up to the day we ended things was perfect. We each had out separate worlds, she's in college and I'm working, she wouldn't intrude in my life and I was always willing to give her the space she needed.

I never behaved like a wuss, like making her the center of my universe, but I always treated her right, with respect and love. Everytime we would get together we would share everything and it was like nothing else mattered. I've always been the strong and emotionally independent kinda guy, until I met this girl, she broke past my defenses and made me believe that I could really love and trust somebody.

Before she met me, she used to go out with her best friend, but they never quite got into a formal relationship. When we met, she just decided to cut things off with him to focus on our relationship and the guy just went mad. He would start msging her, sending her gifts, saying that he loves her. (I know all that because she would always keep me informed, we believed in full communication)

I wanted to talk to the guy and tell him to quit it, but she convinced me that she was gonna handle it. That was like the small thorn in our relationship, because I was always aware that they went back a long time, they come from the same town, they've known each other longer that I've known her and even their families know each other. (I don't know her family because they live in her home country)

Suddenly she decided to break up because she said that she had "personal issues" that she wasn't ready to share with me. After 3 long weeks of pain and suffering and begging her to try again, I found out that she was sleeping with her best friend.

I confronted her, and she then did all the - "im sorry", "i can't believe i did that to you", "i'm a terrible person", "i'm confused", "i'm not happy", "i NEED you", "i think about you all the time", "without you i feel lost", "you changed me and now when i'm with him, it's not the same" - crying routine. I told her I didn't HATE her, that I just hope she made the correct decision and I hope she's happy in her life. Let me move on and that's it.

She would keep calling me, talking to me, and like a fool I always went back to being there for her. I even started to think for a moment that I could be her friend, so that I could represent the same headache her friend gave me when I was in the relationship. But reality would always hit me, and she made me feel like her friend during the day and at night, when I needed to talk to her, she would always dissapear. I realized that I was ADDICTED to her. I would wake up and the first thing I wanted to do was talk to her and listen to her. And everthing was fine until she went to her new bf's house. It was like a drug, getting small fixes during the day to feel better and suffering when I had no more left. I tried the NO CONTACT a couple of times, but I would always go back after 1-2 days because she was constantly messaging me or calling me.

I finally decided one day, after she ditched me again to go out with her bf, to STOP TALKING TO HER. NO EXPLAINING, NO NOTHING, ZIP, NADA, KAPUT. The next day she would start messaging me and I didnt respond, and it's been 5 days already.

The thing is that its so tough to just close the door to somebody (or slam it in her face). I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, or should I talk to her again and tell her why I decided to cut off. the thing is that I've told her that a couple of times already, I've sent her emails saying that, and it NEVER works. that's why I decided to cut things out without even a warning sign. The last thing she sent me was an Angry emoticon over the MSN Messenger. what??? she's angry at ME now??? I didn't wanted to end things like this, but it seems its the only way.

Do I have to ignore her for ever?? We usually hang out in the same places, we even have a friend's bday coming next saturday. I don't know if I should just erase her from my life or explain things to her (again!).

In case some of you may wonder, I haven't deleted her from my MSN because: 1. I feel like if I do it, she's out of my life FOR EVER, and I'm still not sure I want that 2. I feel like I'm running away from her, like trying to hide, and I'd rather ignore her in her face, like telling her "i'm here and I wont talk to you".

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I was in a similar situation I was always playing it cool with my ex but after a while I thought I could trust her and let her in a bit and she went and cheated on me. I was devastated and didn't no what to do she said she was confused but at the same time she was still with this other guy I tried to get her back but then gave up. I have realised now if any girl ever cheats on me then that's it. Im sorry to say but if that happens it will happen again and again she told me she wanted to get back together and I did and she then did it again, its not worth it there are many nicer girls out there who are not like that. You will find this out. Be strong and be firm tell her its finished, I guarantee if you say this she will definitely want you back but I urge you not to take her back move on, I did and now when I talk about her with my friends we have a laugh about those times...

Thanks you guys, it seems that everyday it's a new fight and I have to find something new to hold on to in order to not give up. I tried this today and your opinions have really helped.

A lot of times I think that it's so much easier if I could just hate her for what she did, but I don't feel like that. The last time I talked to her I told her that I was tired of fighting for the both of us, I didn't wanted to shut the door completely and told her that if she wanted to try again, she was the one that had to do the effort. Unfortunately, I couldn't live up to what I said that time, and wounded up talking to her after 2 days again.

I hope she remembers what I said that day, that's the main reason I decided not to give any more explanations, cause I've done it too many times already and it's always the same story. This time I walked away with no need to talk anymore.

The saddest part is when I start thinking again about our great time together and how can somebody mean SO much to you one day and the next become just a story. How somebody so special becomes just another girl you meet in your life.

Its an amazing thing how people can change in an instance but a lot of the time they have been thinking this way for a while trust me on this one. I was in a perfect relationship so I thought and from no where bang "I need a break she said" couldn't believe it. Girls can change very quickly but on most occasions they have definitely been thinking about it for a while...

IGNORE HER BUDDY... She is not the right person for you... She is using you just as a plug and play device... Surely life would go off the track, if you choose her for your life being... My suggestion would be late.. But... Take it a worth... BCoz I suffered the same situation... GIRLS ARE SICK...