Ask Me Help Desk - Family Issues

Family Issues

I am a 15 year old girl living with my parents. I recently got into an argument with my father. He said that if I were to come home late from school again, he's going to ship me off to the Dominican Republic. I told him the only reason I came home late was because I was doing research on tutoring programs so I can do better in school. He tells me that my sister was able to do things without help. I told him I am not like my sister nor will I be sent away just 'cause he says so. It's the first time I ever stood up against him. I don't want to be told to go take family counseling because it really won't work in this situation. Also, please don't think that I'm just a teenage girl going through a rebellion phase because my sister also went through the same thing. I've been going through this my whole life. I've become depressed and upset and this issue with my family is just effecting my grades at school and my overall mood. I know my parents care and worry but the words they say are really not words of encouragement. My question is can I get emancipation at 16 in NYS? What are the laws for emancipation? If I get kicked out my house, can I look for a friend to live with? Will I be considered a runaway?

You have to have parents permission and prove to a court you can afford to fully support yourself. Can you talk to your older sister or an aunt about your problems? Maybe a note from the school stating you need the tutoring might help.

You aren't going to get emancipation unless you are able to completely support yourself... meaning rent, utilities, food everything... WITHOUT living with anyone else... AND be able to pay a lawyer to petition as well.

Meaning... since you aren't a TV star and independently wealthy... its not going to happen.

What's in the Dominican Republic? Do you have relatives there?

Yes, get a note from school that you need tutoring and how the school will help by recommending some names.

Family counseling might just be the ticket both you and your father need. Can't imagine why you don't think it would work.

Dominican Republic I guess is like when my mom would tell me she was going to ship me to timbuckto. I'm guessing that she knows her dad well enough to know he would never agree to counseling. A lot of men are too proud and have negative impressions of counseling.

Well, I don't know any relatives in the Dominican Republic. I had a grandfather I knew but he recently passed away. He would talk some sense to my dad to send me back if he were still alive. He did it for my sister. How my dad described it, I would be doing hard labor and getting bit by mosquitoes. Honestly, I can take two or three more years of living with them. However, I think I am capable of taking care of myself and well aware what the real world holds. Would it be a good idea to start taking care of myself without their help or should I still live through it? Any answer would be fine. I want something helpful. I don't want to do anything stupid or regretful.

Also, my dad thinks I'm capable of learning on my own just like my sister. No matter how hard I try showing him programs of tutoring or anything, he just says I don't need it. I just want to think more positive about myself, be happier and be better in school. Help isn't an option according to my parents.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ToxicRocker

Also, my dad thinks I'm capable of learning on my own just like my sister. No matter how hard I try showing him programs of tutoring or anything, he just says I don't need it. I just wanna think more positive about myself, be happier and be better in school. Help isn't an option according to my parents.

Which subjects do you think you need tutoring in? How are your grades for those subjects?

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

You aren't going to get emancipation unless you are able to completely support yourself...meaning rent, utilities, food everything...WITHOUT living with anyone else....AND be able to pay a lawyer to petition as well.

Meaning....since you aren't a TV star and independently wealthy...its not going to happen.

I'm well aware. I've done my own research as well. Since I'm still young, I have enough time to think it through. I can either wait or try. No rush really.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Which subjects do you think you need tutoring in? How are your grades for those subjects?

All of them. Especially Chinese. I'm a slow learner compared to others. I don't pay attention very easily. It takes a while to comprehend most things teachers would say. I also have a lot of stress on my mind. Number one priority would be to make my parents be proud of me for once.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ToxicRocker

All of them. Especially Chinese. I'm a slow learner compared to others. I don't pay attention very easily. It takes a while to comprehend most things teachers would say. I also have a lot of stress on my mind. Number one priority would be to make my parents be proud of me for once.

Why, if you have trouble paying attention and are stressed, would you take Chinese, of all things?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Why, if you have trouble paying attention and are stressed, would you take Chinese, of all things?

It's required in my school to learn Chinese. Then take the Chinese Regents. This school wasn't really my first choice. My grades weren't really up to par for other schools to accept me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ToxicRocker

It's required in my school to learn Chinese. Then take the Chinese Regents. This school wasn't really my first choice. My grades weren't really up to par for other schools to accept me.

This is a private high school?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

This is a private high school?

Surprisingly it isn't. I thought it should be because not a lot of people know about the school. It's one of the few schools who does the Chinese Regents.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ToxicRocker

I'm well aware. I've done my own research as well. Since I'm still young, I have enough time to think it through. I can either wait or try. No rush really.

You'll be 18 and can move out on your own soon enough. Its not going to be even half as easy as you think it will be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

You'll be 18 and can move out on your own soon enough. Its not going to be even half as easy as you think it will be.

I know it won't be easy. I'm aware of that. Living on your own is not easy. Not a lot of people will rent you places because of your age. There aren't many good jobs. You need to get certain things with your parents' help or consent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ToxicRocker

I know it won't be easy. I'm aware of that. Living on your own is not easy. Not a lot of people will rent you places because of your age. There aren't many good jobs. You need to get certain things with your parents' help or consent.

I'm talking after you are 18... when you are legally an adult and don't need anyone's consent.

Unless you are legally emancipated.. you can't do ANY of those even with consent until you are an adult.

You must be 18 to enter into any legal contract... renting a place is a legal contract... getting utilities is as well.

And without a work history and a lot of experience... you will be working minimum wage, entry level jobs... and that doesn't go very far at all. And isn't enough to live on your own most places.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

I'm talking after you are 18.....when you are legally an adult and don't need anyone's consent.

Unless you are legally emancipated..you can't do ANY of those even with consent until you are an adult.

You must be 18 to enter into any legal contract.....renting a place is a legal contract....getting utilities is as well.

And without a work history and a lot of experience....you will be working minimum wage, entry level jobs...and that does go very far at all. And isn't enough to live on your own most places.

I see that. I think I can handle my parents for a little bit longer. The more knowledge I have of this, the more I can re-think things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ToxicRocker

I see that. I think I can handle my parents for a little bit longer. The more knowledge I have of this, the more I can re-think things.

Are any teachers at school willing to help you or tutor you after class or even after school for a short time? Or a classmate? Do you have any study halls?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Are any teachers at school willing to help you or tutor you after class or even after school for a short time? or a classmate? Do you have any study halls?

Well I did say my dad doesn't believe I need that. He won't really allow it unless it's mandatory.