I was with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years. We started with the games cause she was so hard to get. I played it very cool for a while and didn't answer my phone all the time. I worked in the evening which meant I only see her late when I would go stay at her house. This was all going well but on one occasion after two years she said her parents had mentioned marriage but she told me she sorry but I'm just not the one she wanted to marry. I blew it off but questioned her the next day and she said well I haven't made up my mind yet. I let it go.
The relationship went on well and everything seemed fine then I got a new better job and started to spend more time with her in the evenings. I felt this was wrong cause I was giving things up too see her but at the same time she worked a few nights which left limited time she was available and after 3 years I felt like I really wanted to see her all the time. In the 3 years she has rarely spoke her feelings and told me she is just received and does not mention she loves me. She wanted a break 5 months ago and we didn't see each other for two weeks I tried to win her back on the phone and the relationship just seemed to be back on. From then I backed off and was busy again not always there and everything seemed to be going fine, but then just lately I made the same mistake of over wanting her and then now she has told me I need a break again and her reasons are that she doesn't want to be so dependent on me and she tells me she loves me and likes spending time but doesn't know if that's enough. She said she needs to find her own self??

Just give her some time I bet she's just confused,and make sure to respect her wishes u know

Sounds to me like she is less keen than you are. This is obvious from what your saying. You don't mention your age but I will assume your either late teens or early 20's.

You need to back off, not necessarily completely detaching yourself emotionally but getting a secure sense of self and having a complete life without her in it! Its not doing you any good being with someone who is always hot and cold. It is mentally and physically draining - believe me Ive been there. Seems your running out of options now, three years and still game playing?

You either get yourself out of the situation - i.e. you end whatever 'relationship' (in a loose term) you do have or continue in this degrading manor.

You could follow these in the mean time:

1) Get a new direction in your life
2) Start new hobbies
3) Get down the gym - go with friends
4) Keep active all the time
5) Be less available and less needy
6) Be fun and bubbly and enjoy life - don't be a needy clingy guy - women want a strong man!
7) Do not answer texts/ ims/ phones all the time
8) Spend more time with your friends and family
9) Take a break

Give her what she ask for and get on with life. When she figures it out then she will let you know, if not you will already have a life with out her. I would not be sitting and waiting for her to come back, so make sure you are moving forward. No doubt that she has been thinking this way for a while.