My boyfriend is 18 years old and when he was 17 he got a 16 year old girl pregnant. Their baby is now 4 months old. While this girl was pregnant she physically attacted me and my boyfriend. And she broke into he's mother's house while he lived there and stole a car seat that he bought for he's car for the baby. She went into labor and a friend of mine who is also friends with her found out and told me so that I could tell my boyfriend. She refused to let him be with her at the brith, and gave the baby her last name rather than he's. She has only allowed him to see the baby ONCE since she was bron and afterthat refused to return he's phone calls. And recently she keyed my car out of anger. My boyfriend wants to sign over he's rights so that he and I can move on with our lives and get married in January of next year. I have told him countless times that no matter what happens I am by he's side, and that what ever choices he makes about this, or anything else, I will eternally love and support him and he has chosen to give up all rights to he's child.

I know that when he signs over he's rights they can still make him pay child support for the child, but I want to know, with these facts at hand, is there any way possible that he can sign over he's rights with out having to pay child support. He wants to have no contact or connection with the mother or child what so ever. He just wants to start fresh and leave he's past behind him.

Also, I do know know this for a fact, but my boyfriend told me, and he's ex did not deny it at all, He's ex paid for a motel room where she had sex with another man while she was 5 months pregnant. And she tried to kill her self while she was pregnant. Not to mention that a few years ago, before she moved here (and this she told to me) she spent a stay in 3 different mental hospitals for self mutalation and trying to kill herself.

Please, can some one help us? He's lawyer has not helped at all because the attorny is in he's mothers name, even though he paid for him, and he and he's mother no longer speak, in fact, he has had her banned from being on our property due to her constant harassment. (She wants him to be with he's ex, rather than me because of the baby)

PLEASE HELP!

PS I posted this under anoter section of the site and was treated VERY rudely so I am asking nicely, please do not replie if you are going to lecture me, tell me I'm a bad human being for dating someone with a child, or tell me my boyfriend is a bad person for not being with his ex. I would really like legal advise and support, not MORE megaticity in my life.

Thank you.

I suspect that it all depends upon where you live, but if his name isn't on the birth certificate and she has pretty much denied paternity to this point then why would he have to give up parental rights? He doesn't even know that it is his child. At any rate, if he isn't on the birth certificate she would have to prove he is the father before she could sue for support.

As far as not paying support... if he is the father, he will have to pay support. The only way I can see this ending is if she meets someone else who wants to adopt the baby.

I know you are seeking legal advice and support... but I have to ask... do you really want to be with a man who would give up all parental rights to a child who is living with a woman who attacks people, steals, keys cars, sleeps around, tried to kill herself (and baby, obviously) when she was pregnant, and has spent time in three different mental institutions?? Where are his moral obligations?? I hope you take time to think this all out before taking a step such as marriage. At any rate, he should get his own lawyer to find out what his legal responsibilities are.

Good luck, sweetie. I think you are going to need it.

Hugs, Didi

What you need to do is talk to a lawyer. It's differnet in all states. I understand your boyfriend wants to make achange in life, good for him. Yes, this is a tough situation, but maybe in a few year's he'd like to have some sort of contact with his child? If not, at any rate I think either way is nothing to be ashamed of. You clearly are on the road to recovery. Be there for your boyfriend. I think your brave for handling this situation the way you have. Your boyfriend is lucky to have you! Well, good luck with this situation. Just ignore people when they try to tell you your doing something wrong. As long as your happy and he's happy continue to be happy and live your lives.

No, he will always have to pay child support that part of the law does not change, And since they are not married, she does not have to give the baby his name.

If he wants visitation, or part custody, he needs to get an attorney and file for proper visitation.

The other issues can be bought into the issue, to show her as a unfit parent if he wants to try and get custody.

So he may as well get used to paying, he will for the next 18 years, and he should be getting visitation, though the court, since he needs to be responsible and be the parent

You need a lawyer period. Forget not paying child support if the child is proven to be his, and only a test can do that. I understand your mental stress, so don't be rude as most people are about the child more than the convenience of the adults. You both may have a lot of issues but a lawyer is the only way to go to find out what you can legaly do.