Mother left kids with me (their dad) 3 1/2 yrs. Ago. We are unmarried. Apart from the fact that she has claimed them on her income tax each year, she moved to G.A. Im in Louisiana and hasn't so much has called, sent them a dime, or any financial help with the money she claimed them with. One letter 2 yrs ago was all she has sent them claiming she was trying to get custody. She has in those years had 3 fiancées, two drug busts (the last with methamphetamine AND cocaine) and still not a word. I tried to get full custody of my kids but financial aid said that she did not abandon them because she left them in my care. Furthermore she won't tell me where she lives, works, for me to claim child support. Ive called it seems like 20 different agencies who all tell me to hire a P.I. If I could afford one I wouldn't ask for legal aid. The Income tax money could, but the I.R.S still gives her the money every year despite my contacting them about fraud. It seems that everything I do is red tape and a couple of people from legal aid said that if she comes and takes them I cannot do anything because (come around full circle) I don't have full custody... PLEASE HELP!

You get in touch with a family law attorney and fight for custody.

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Originally Posted by J_9

You get in touch with a family law attorney and fight for custody.

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They want $1200.. legal aid won't help. Thanks for the advice but as I said I'm without finances (other than rent, food, bills, and child care)

There really is no other way. Until you legally fight for custody, you are at the mother's mercy.

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Originally Posted by J_9

There really is no other way. Until you legally fight for custody, you are at the mother's mercy.

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Good point. But If I pay them (ehich won't take payments) I can't pay one of the utilities or bills, OCS comes and takes them. Seems damned if I do, damned if don't. No rent, ocs, no lights, ocs, no food, ocs. Boy child support would help... but I can't claim... if it was her id already have lawyers at my throat for free.

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Originally Posted by davidparker

Good point. But If I pay them (ehich wont take payments) I can't pay one of the utilities or bills, OCS comes and takes them. Seems damned if I do, damned if dont. No rent, ocs, no lights, ocs, no food, ocs. Boy child support would help... but I can't claim... if it was her id already have lawyers at my throat for free.

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Talk to family members, see if they're willing to help. You already know what you have to do. If you can't do it, then you really are at her mercy, and you could end up losing a lot more than your utilities.

You are sadly mistaken. If you were a woman you wouldn't have lawyers at your throat for free. Trust me, I'm a woman and have needed legal services. Maybe in the 70s or 80s, but times have changed. There are even law firms who specialize solely in the man's interests.

Child support would help, but that's a horse of a different color. Custody and child support are two different legal issues. You need to go to court for both. Just because you are awarded custody doesn't mean you automatically get support.

Is there a law school near you? Many schools offer services to individuals like you. Their graduate students draw up the papers under the advisement of their professors, and can assist in the process.

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Originally Posted by Alty

Talk to family members, see if they're willing to help. You already know what you have to do. If you can't do it, then you really are at her mercy, and you could end up losing a lot more than your utilities.

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You are so right, thank you. Sorry, just frustrated because I've spent a lot of time on this and it seems circular.

I can completely understand. It is so frustrating that it's almost easier to just give up. But you CAN'T!

Look into local law schools!

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Originally Posted by Alty

Talk to family members, see if they're willing to help. You already know what you have to do. If you can't do it, then you really are at her mercy, and you could end up losing a lot more than your utilities.

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They are helping as much as possible, j_9, offered a great point on law school nearby. I assumed women get more help for free because all the websites offer help for women with deadbeat dads, can't find one visa versa. J_9 CORRECTED me on her legal issues as well.. frustration just makes it seem like I'm alone.

Yes, there is a law firm here in Memphis that helps ONLY men in issues like this. Don't know if there is one in LA though.

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Originally Posted by davidparker

You are so right, thank you. Sorry, just frustrated because ive spent alot of time on this and it seems circular.

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Frustrated I understand. But you have to focus your energies in the right direction. In most family courts you don't need to have a lawyer to file papers. You can represent yourself. Just be sure to document all attempts to serve her as well as document as best you can the children living with you. Ask for full custody and a child support order.

Once you have the order then the state can help you collect it even if she is out of state.

Yay! CDAD is here!

This is the man you need to talk to on these matters!

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Originally Posted by J_9

Yay! CDAD is here!

This is the man you need to talk to on these matters!

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Lol, I thank you AND cdad. The two of you have given me more solid ideas/advice than legal aid or anywhere else has in 2 yrs... and in under an hour. But no dad help like memphis. I live at yhe bottom of the boot sothwest in Sulphur, swampy and obviously legally ill informed.

Cdad is the man. The one that knows all of this.

I would like to add another suggestion. Call your local family court. You can find out if they have forms you can fill out to do this on your own. Considering the length of time they have been in your care, this shouldn't be particularly hard. They may even have legal interns who are willing to help you with this process.

Financial aid steered you wrong. You may have asked the wrong questions. She has abandoned the children. Not criminally and you can't file for abandonment, but you should be able to petition the court for full and sole custody. You need to show the court that she has not made contact with you or the children for 2 years. You document your failed attempts to contact her.

You should not need an attorney for this. But it would help to have someone knowledgeable in family law to prepare the paperwork. As J_9 said, some law schools offer clinics to help do that.

As for the IRS, I suspect you are asking the wrong questions again. What I would do is file electronically very early next year claiming the children as dependents. If you file early enough you will shut her out from filing. She will have to file manually and then the IRS will investigate. All you need to do is prove they are living with you (school records should be sufficient) and you will be granted the right to claim them.

What you have been saying about why you haven't been able to do anything doesn't make sense. So it sounds like you have no been going about things the right way.

Hopefully our advice will steer you in the right direction so you can get custody.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Cdad is the man. The one that knows all of this.

I would like to add another suggestion. Call your local family court. You can find out if they have forms you can fill out to do this on your own. Considering the length of time they have been in your care, this shouldn't be particularly hard. They may even have legal interns who are willing to help you with this process.

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Awesome! I can call them in the morning after I bring kids to school. Well and coffee. :) This is the first time I've discussed this and actually had a smile at the end of the conversation. Thank you cdad and J9. Ive got ALL the key suggestions noted. If there is anything else please feel free to suggest if it is not out of your way. Thanks so much again. :):)(:(:

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Financial aid steered you wrong. You may have asked the wrong questions. She has abandoned the children. Not criminally and you can't file for abandonment, but you should be able to petition the court for full and sole custody. You need to show the court that she has not made contact with you or the children for 2 years. You document your failed attempts to contact her.

You should not need an attorney for this. But it would help to have someone knowledgeable in family law to prepare the paperwork. As J_9 said, some law schools offer clinics to help do that.

As for the IRS, I suspect you are asking the wrong questions again. What I would do is file electronically very early next year claiming the children as dependents. If you file early enough you will shut her out from filing. She will have to file manually and then the IRS will investigate. All you need to do is prove they are living with you (school records should be sufficient) and you will be granted the right to claim them.

What you have been saying about why you haven't been able to do anything doesn't make sense. So it sounds like you have no been going about things the right way.

Hopefully our advice will steer you in the right direction so you can get custody.

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I had to get multiple w2s mailed to me so I couldn't file early. Company changed hands three times. I had to be audited and I did use school to help prove. The money I got (in November) I used to pay back family that helped.. catch up on car note and give the kids their first first decent christmas in a while. I might have splurged on a new bike for my littlest one but that bike actually saved my sons life.. *another story*

I have to agree with ScottGem. You have been asking the wrong questions to the wrong people. Hopefully you have finally found the right people to talk to. ;)

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Originally Posted by J_9

I have to agree with ScottGem. You have been asking the wrong questions to the wrong people. Hopefully you have finally found the right people to talk to. ;)

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I think I have