Ask Me Help Desk - Mommy who needs to know

o.k so here is my story , when I was 17 I had a son I was really young ang hated his father , I lived with my grandma , and right after I had a baby my great grandfather died so my grandma couldn't help me so I moved in with baby dad and his family ,I really wasn't ready to be a mom , so I went out all the time and did bad things , I finally got enough courage to leave him a year later and moved in with my mom, my mom is very unstable her self , so one night I went out and did not come home to the following afternoon and when I did my mom had told me she called baby dad to come and get baby, I was so mad I left my moms house and lived in my car for 6 months , I left baby at dad's house so I could get my stuff together and in mean time baby dad took me to court and proved me unfit , and won 1/2 custody over baby , so time has gone one I got my stuff together and met a really nice guy who now we have a son . 2 years ago baby dad took me to court and fought me for custody , I was so frustrated with him cause he does nothing for baby and his family does everything but he was trying to maske himself look good in court,and made a big thing on how if I give him custody he won't take me for child support , I was very nieve and frustated so in a split second I signed my rights over , my son is 6 now , and I see him off and on , all the time because I am very emotional about this now , I have a beautiful 2 yr old and a wonderful home and a great man , and I can't figure out how this could have happpend to me , I want baby to come and live with me like a normal family and I think he does to but I feal so scared to open it in court again because this is 6 yrs of stuff and there has been months I haven't called baby at all. It is time for him to be with me now , and I want him to have a good life , what are my chances of getting him back does anyone think I could get him back , or has it been to long , I am afraid to consult a lawyer... please let me know I have finally built enough courage to talk about it :( :o :( :o

It seems like the people on this site don't take kindly to situations like this. I bet that you are going to get answers that will make you cry. I can't imagine your pain. We have all been young and dumb, and made mistakes. In your case I would say ask your son who he wants to live with. You can't make him want to live with you. He is too young not to understand anything except what he has been told. Chances are that he has not been told anything good about you. You may have to wait until he is old enough to undrestand for himself.

You caused this problem. Your past caught up with you. Your son may not want to come back. I think you should leave it alone.

I understand how you feel but , you were young you had no support from family, you were a baby yourself I could not imagine my teen daughter having to go through such a tuff thing by herself. But call a lawyer you can get free advice and then decide. But your son has been with what he knows as family are you doing what is right for him? Or for you? I would suggest that you continue spending time with him as much as you can let him get to know you better and when he gets older he might make that decision on his own. I believe that age is 13 years of age well it is in Canada. I know this is hard but it has to be in the best interest of the child. You were young with no support please don't beat yourself up and enjoy you husband and your two children they grow up so fast just be there for him.

Thanks a lot to all the perfect people out there in all reality the best think for him at that time was what I did , I am not asking to be dogged , I am a nurse and a wonderful mother, and have a tons of stuff to offer my kids and maybe the reason I didn't alreADY DO ANYTHING IS SO HE Wouldn't BE TORN AWAY FROM THE HOME HE KNOWS , I WAS ALSO ASKING WHAT THE CHANCES ARE A JUDGE WOULD GIVE ME A CHANCE SIENCE I HAVE SO MUCH TO GIVE , NOT HOW BAD I COULD BE DISSED BY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO ONLY KNOWS WHAT IS WRITTEN...

No one can know more than what you have written alexjenn... you may find it difficult to become a regular fixture in your son's life, legally. I suggest contacting an attorney, or at the very least, referring to this site's home page for legal advice.

Get over your fears and contact an attorney to advise you of your rights and procedures to getting your son back. I assume you have visitation rights. Make the most of them in any event.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parajr

It seems like the people on this site don't take kindly to situations like this. I bet that you are gonna get answers that will make you cry. I can't imagine your pain. We have all been young and dumb, and made mistakes. In your case I would say ask your son who he wants to live with. You can't make him want to live with you. He is too young not to understand anything except what he has been told. Chances are that he has not been told anything good about you. You may have to wait until he is old enought to undrestand for himself.

I think you have miss judged a lot of us. Though I myself can say little on this thread I fully understand what teens go though and the events that lead to bad decisions and the same can be said for many folks here. --Savage
Edit -- yes we have some hardasses here -- but any site like this presents a cross section of all types -- that's why they work.

I would say before you start looking at legal actions, you need to start seeing your son on a regular basis, set up regular visits and do it, be a part of his life so he knows you and likes you. Then you can show the judge that you have regularlly been with him, and that you are trying not only to correct your life, but be a proper mother for your son.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexjenn

o.k so here is my story , when i was 17 i had a son i was really young ang hated his father , i lived with my grandma , and right after i had a baby my great grandfather died so my grandma couldnt help me so i moved in with baby dad and his family ,i really wasnt ready to be a mom , so i went out all the time and did bad things , i finally got enough courage to leave him a year later and moved in with my mom, my mom is very unstable her self , so one night i went out and did not come home to the following afternoon and when i did my mom had told me she called baby dad to come and get baby, i was so mad i left my moms house and lived in my car for 6 months , i left baby at dad's house so i could get my stuff together and in mean time baby dad took me to court and proved me unfit , and won 1/2 custody over baby , so time has gone one i got my stuff together and met a really nice guy who now we have a son . 2 years ago baby dad took me to court and fought me for custody , i was so frustrated with him cause he does nothing for baby and his family does everything but he was trying to maske himself look good in court,and made a big thing on how if i give him custody he wont take me for child support , i was very nieve and frustated so in a split second i signed my rights over , my son is 6 now , and i see him off and on , all the time because i am very emotional about this now , i have a beautiful 2 yr old and a wonderful home and a great man , and i can't figure out how this could of happpend to me , i want baby to come and live with me like a normal family and i think he does to but i feal so scared to open it in court again because this is 6 yrs of stuff and there has been months i havent called baby at all. it is time for him to be with me now , and i want him to have a good life , what are my chances of getting him back does anyone think i could get him back , or has it been to long , i am afraid to consult a lawyer .... please let me know i have finally built enough courage to talk about it :( :o :( :o

I think you should just pray to God and ask him for forgiveness and your loving child back. You can start all over. You just keep loving him, seeing him, and praying for him, and everything will fall all into place.

So it wasn't convient for you to take care of him before but now that you decide OK I want him back now you should get him. You didn't want to take care of him before that's to bad for you. He's been with his father for so long why would you want to take him away from his life and probably tramatize him. You didn't want him before because it was an inconvience so now you shouldn't be a and try to take him away from a loving home. Your thinking of yourself not him!!