Well I like this guy in school.But I know he isn't gay and I dont know if I am. I even like this girl we talk a litte but that's all. But back to the guy I know he isn't gay and we never talk. But I see sometimes I stare at him he stares at me and we look at each other for a small second even less and I look away. I want to tell him but I'm afraid that he doesn't fell the same way if he doesn't he might tell everyone that I might be gay but even though I might,might not be I'm just confused- please help! -.-

How old are you?

Y??

If you are 12 or if you are 22 -- makes a difference.

Please spell out words. We use good English on this site. Thanks.

Sorry but I'm not comfortable telling my age on here n sorry about the way I wrote it

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Originally Posted by josef2k13

Sorry but im not comfortable telling my age on here n sorry about the way i wrote it

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It does make a HUGE difference how old you are (you could say a range your age is in), and giving your age here doesn't identify you. My guess is middle school age or maybe early high school.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It does make a HUGE difference how old you are (you could say a range your age is in), and giving your age here doesn't identify you. My guess is middle school age or maybe early high school.

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Yes

I'll guess that you are around pre teen and say that you need to first figure out your emotions and how you relate and inter act with people. Just because you feel you have some kind of attraction to them does that really mean you are or might be gay? Does that mean you want to jump into bed with them or start kissing them like they are your lover? Or could it simply be that you admire qualities about him and would really like to be simply good friends? If you don't figure it out and figure out how to keep your emotions in check it could result in your losing him as a potential friend.

If you're a teen you're still in the beginning stages of figuring out who you are sexually. The teen years are a confusing time. So many hormones raging through your body, so many different feelings and experiences.

Only you will know if you're gay or not. Having said that, no one has to choose a label to verify who they are.

You might be gay. Only you will know, we can't tell you. If you are, that's fine. That's you. But going after people that you know for a fact aren't gay, that's setting yourself up for a world of hurt, and frankly, it's not fair to the straight guy.

You may like him. You may be attracted. But, just like people have to learn to accept gays, and accept that they are who they are, gays have to accept that people that aren't gay, are who they are, even if you're attracted to them.

You posted that you know this guy isn't gay, he's straight. You can't change who he is anymore than he can change who you are. Telling him how you feel won't change who he is. It won't change who you are.

You can't change who someone is, just because you want them to feel the same way you do.

Well I don't know if he is gay or not he never had a girlfriend or anything like that. I fell like he might be because we always look at each other. I don't know if I just see that because I want to see that or... I don't know!

Here's some advice for you... don't define yourself or worry about whether you're gay, straight, or otherwise. You're learning about yourself and all your attractions are normal. In time you'll figure out if you're gay, straight, bi, or something else! Don't worry; you're perfect however you are.

That said, be careful and thoughtful about how you approach other people with your feelings. They're young and just figuring themselves out too! They're not always going to know what they want and they're not in control of their emotions. If this guy is "straight" then he isn't open to anything with another boy (even if he's not straight, that's the information you have to go on until or if you learn otherwise). Respect everybody's version of who they are that they present to the world right now.

Human feelings are so complex - it's possible to love and admire and be attracted to someone of your own sex even if you're not having sexual feelings. (whether you do or don't it's ok). He might have lots of feelings about you he doesn't share and you can't make him share.

Be a good friend, accept who he is, and be your real self. That doesn't mean lunge into a "talk" --- but it means that you can act on that feeling of friendship as a FRIEND and also let him know that you don't care if a person is straight or gay or bi. It's not hard to do that without making it about the two of you... talk about a TV show or a kid at school and just say, "I think everybody should be treated with respect and care no matter if they're straight or gay or whatever.. it doesn't matter as long as your a good person and everybody should have love."
That way, you're being real and sharing a truth honest but neutral way. At worst he says something hateful about others and at best he trusts you and may talk about himself.

Other than that - just be a friend, be your real self (respectful and thoughtful) and don't try to label or define yourselves too much.

Being under 15 as he implied to wondergirl, its normal that he wouldn't have had a girlfriend yet. I think its just normal curiousity like some guys in high school say they do- checking out the competition.

Sometimes it can be confusing not knowing how you feel about yourself,the best thing to do is spend time with friends outside a relationship and take time to get to know your own feeling first,if you are young you have plenty of time to enjoy life,there are a lot of people who can feel this way before they know themselves.