I'll try making this as short as I can..

So I've liked this girl around school for almost 5 years , 3 years ago she came across the room with her friends , made eye contact with me and smiled, shortly after she messaged me on Facebook on a national feast wishing me a happy feast and all , she didn't send it to any other guys though as I've asked close mutual friends if she did send them anything like that .

Anyway , since this is senior year I decided to come clean about it because I wasn't sure about anything anymore and what she did earlier in the earlier paragraph had me wondering , thing is though we aren't that close so I couldn't tell her in the face since I didn't see her a lot this year , so I messaged her on Facebook telling her everything I felt , her reply was basically that's so sweet you should have told me earlier and keep in touch and stuff

Later we had finals coming up , we talked casually around that time asking about each other and how we did on the exam on Facebook as well , later talked a bit then stopped , a month later I asked her about something about the prom then she answers me and then says she's kind of mad I never talked to her in a whole month , we talked a bit from there and at the end she gave me her number without me asking so we can text , she said it was because Facebook chat sucks

We texted a couple of times last being a good night message where she called me by my nick name which my close friends call me so I reponded to her in the same way.


That all being said , she has a boyfriend now , or last I checked anyway and I did know before I told her I liked her but I had to do what I had to do .

So I need advice , I honestly don't know what to do , I was starting to move on (somewhat) until we talked again and she gave me her number , I'm at quite a loss here people...

Something to note is she never started a conversation cept once where she said "I don't know why but I wanted to try and annoy you today :p"

So yea... what the hell?

Sounds like she was hoping you would ask her out but now not much you can do as long as she has a boyfriend.

Sounds like you're the fall back plan. In other words, you're the guy waiting in the wings in case the relationship with the boyfriend doesn't work out. You're the safety net, not the first choice.

She has a boyfriend. If she wanted to be with you, once you told her how you felt, she'd break up with the boyfriend. She didn't, because she doesn't feel the same way you do. But it's nice to have a safety net, a rebound, in case things don't work out with the guy you choose to be with. It's also very hard to tell someone that has a crush on you, that you don't feel the same way. Much easier to friend zone him. Sound familiar?

If you can't handle being friends, you don't have to put yourself through that. She's female, it's in our nature not to hurt people. Sadly, when we're young, we don't realize that stringing people along, trying to be friends, is really hurtful when the guy has a crush.

Bottom line, she has a boyfriend. If she wanted you instead, she'd dump him. She hasn't. That's all the info you need. The next move is on you. Either be her friend and don't expect her to fall in love with you, or go no contact because you can't handle a friendship only.

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Originally Posted by Alty

Sounds like you're the fall back plan. In other words, you're the guy waiting in the wings in case the relationship with the bf doesn't work out. You're the safety net, not the first choice.

She has a boyfriend. If she wanted to be with you, once you told her how you felt, she'd break up with the boyfriend. She didn't, because she doesn't feel the same way you do. But it's nice to have a safety net, a rebound, in case things don't work out with the guy you choose to be with. It's also very hard to tell someone that has a crush on you, that you don't feel the same way. Much easier to friend zone him. Sound familiar?

If you can't handle being friends, you don't have to put yourself through that. She's female, it's in our nature not to hurt people. Sadly, when we're young, we don't realize that stringing people along, trying to be friends, is really hurtful when the guy has a crush.

Bottom line, she has a boyfriend. If she wanted you instead, she'd dump him. She hasn't. That's all the info you need. The next move is on you. Either be her friend and don't expect her to fall in love with you, or go no contact because you can't handle a friendship only.

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When I said she had a boyfriend now I meant back at the time when I told her I liked her , last I checked was around first week in July , now she gave me her number like 6 days ago , plus , are there girls who would actually give their number to someone whom they know likes them even if the girl doesn't like that person back or even if she was in a relationship ?

Number one- I LOVE how you say I'll try to make this as short as possible and then it becomes a twelve paragraph essay! That's the same with me.
Anyway, I was in a predicament just like that, a guy says he likes me but then the next day he asks some other girl out, but still kept in touch with me and for some strange reason I still liked him. And now that I think about what Alty says, I probably was his fall back and now he is in a "commited" relationship and totally forgot about me apparently.
Anyway, sorry tend to get of topic really quickly, if your feelings are fading I say you should let them fade, I know it's hard (it took me 3 years to get over him), but I think it needs to be done. Start searching for another girl and stop obessing over her, not saying you are obessing, but you just need to let the feelings fade. And if she breaks up with her current boyfriend and comes crawling back to you remember that see doesn't talk to you unless you start the chat, she sort of left you stranded, and you clearly are her fall back guy. Just saying, I think you need to distanceher from you.

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Originally Posted by hyboi

When I said she had a bf now I meant back at the time when I told her I liked her , last I checked was around first week in july , now she gave me her number like 6 days ago , plus , are there girls who would actually give their number to someone whom they know likes them even if the girl doesn't like that person back or even if she was in a relationship ?

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Forget Facebook and forget texting. TALK to her. When you like someone or thinking about liking someone (assuming she is one of those two things) you like to hear the persons voice. You remember what they said and how they said it. You replay their voice, their mannerisms, their words over and over in your head. That is the way to move this forward. Facebook and texting is not personal. Make it personal and you might get somewhere.

Don't make her do all the work. You can keep trying without being obnoxious, as long as you are sensitive to her responses. You really did let yourself down by failing to see her 'that's sweet and why didn't you let me know sooner' as a sign to ask her out, or at least make an effort to see her in person.
Tell her you are shy and want to make up for lost time. What can you lose? Sure, she can turn you down. We ALL get turned down, but you have to try or you will lead a lonely life.

Well we were at the prom tonight , she broke up with her boyfriend , she was sweet and she picked me to present who won the titles , Sadly we didn't have enough time together to take a pic or two so I just told her she owes me a pic I'm going to take later , going to try and ask her out later I guess and see how it goes from there then


What do you guys think ?

She didn't break up with him at the prom that was earlier , just clarifying

Was around the time she gave me her number

I think we have given you the general idea. If you keep asking people what they think, you will never get off the ground. You have to TRY. You have to take the CHANCE. Most girls aren't mean. It's a compliment to be asked out, to have someone glad to see them.
Oh - and my pet peeve (a million years ago) was 'What are you doing Friday?' instead of 'Want to go to the movies on Friday?'
These days I hear it's even worse - 'Want to go out?'
How thoughtful, how romantic! NOT.
Plan the date and day before you ask, even if she can't go that time. She'll let you know she wants to go the next night, so ask again!

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Originally Posted by joypulv

I think we have given you the general idea. If you keep asking people what they think, you will never get off the ground. You have to TRY. You have to take the CHANCE. Most girls aren't mean. It's a compliment to be asked out, to have someone glad to see them.
Oh - and my pet peeve (a million years ago) was 'What are you doing Friday?' instead of 'Want to go to the movies on Friday?'
These days I hear it's even worse - 'Want to go out?'
How thoughtful, how romantic! NOT.
Plan the date and day before you ask, even if she can't go that time. She'll let you know she wants to go the next night, so ask again!

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Right , works well then , was just asking to know if it still means I'm a back up plan lol

I'll do it then , thank you all people for your help.

The only way to get the right information is at the source. Talk to her a bit and find out what her agenda is. Eyes wide open at all times and not just happy for a chance to get the girl you have wanted for all your teen years so far.

Sounds to me like she may have broken up with the other guy in hopes of getting you. I don't think you have anything to lose by taking a chance.