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I'm in a relationship with a married man. I'm divorced. He says he loves me and wants to be with me but can't until his son graduate's from high school, that's in 2 years. He see's me once a week for 2 hours just sex no dating. We have had dinner and lunch at my house. We have talked abot getting married in 2 years. Am I fooling myself??

He's hiding the affair, which I wouldn't even call a relationship. Who knows what he will do in 2 years? How can any of us know what another person, even someone we know well, will do in 2 years?

Probably leave you for someone else, new and exciting. Once a week just for sex? Ugh.
Dump him now. If he loves you he can come back then to see if you are still single.

I wish I knew how these arrangements happen. So many have posted the same question, and all end up in the same boat.

First of all, he is not available. He's married, and has children. It is a convenient excuse for him to say he has to stay in his marriage because of his son. That is nonsense. Many divorce, and make suitable arrangements for custody/visitation.

I'm sure he laments how unhappy he is with his wife. They all do.

It's all about them. Their problems, causing their actions, making you believe that they want out, but sadly can't until this or that happens. Then the ultimate promise- that they will marry you.

You are a silent, willing partner in being played by him. He gets a booty call once a week for two hours, complete with lunch or dinner. How nice of you to feed him too.

Is this really the way you want to live your life? In someone's shadow? Does it feel right to you to stab another woman in the back? I guarantee you he is happy in his marriage, and likes a little something on the side- you. But he needs excuses to do what he's doing, and you are buying it.

I hope that you will wake up and smell the coffee here as Ann Landers would say. Tell him you will no longer see him, as long as he is married, and you will NOT wait two years. If he ever finds himself single (and can prove it with a separation agreement), tell him to give you a call.

Until then, let this unavailable man go.

Now it is graduation, in 2 years it will be some illness with wife, or wait till child gets married.

He will never leave his wife, if he reallly wanted to leave the children hew would.

He is just using you for sex.

You are a fling. He likes the excitement of a fling. If he leaves her to be with you expect him to look for the excitement of a new fling. Cheaters cheat - that is why they are called cheaters.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickfileck

"I'm in a relationship with a married man. I'm divorced" @ sunshine20.

Why did you involve with a married man in the first place? Did you break your marriage because of him? How do think of yourself as a WOMAN? So, he is now under pressure by you to break his marriage, so you can be with him?
OMG!! Look at you, you are trying to destroy THREE HUMAN LIVES HERE INCLUDING YOURS. The HUSBAND, HIS WIFE, HIS SON and then YOUR OWN.

You feel that bad about yourself? Please seek some help, do not take a High Schooler father away from him.

No, I didn't end my marriage because of him. I was already separated from my husband. It started as just meeting for sex, we didn't expect to fall in love. He wants to go away this weekend. I've been thinking that's a bad idea. I'm not feeling good about our relationship.

Anyway, it is likely to never happen between you two. He says 2 years... in 2 years, if you're still around, there will be some other excuse. He is not going to leave her but he wants to string you along. He doesn't take you out on dates, just uses you for sex... you may not even be the only one.

You should just break it off with him and find someone that is available to you instead of wasting your time waiting for something that may never happen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misssunshine20

No, I didn't end my marriage because of him. I was already seperated from my husband. It started off as just meeting for sex, we didn't expect to fall in love. He wants to go away this weekend. I've been thinking that's a bad idea. I'm not feeling good about our relationship.

Your bad feelings about the relationship are a warning signal to you that the whole thing is a bad idea. Those feelings are telling you to end it. That no good can come of this. Even if you are "in love" (which I suspect is not the case, at least on his part) you are in a situation where he doesn't want to change the old way that life has been or cause anything to change but instead wants to be around for regular sex, lunch and a dinner. If he deals with the issues in his marriage, it will be because he wants to/needs to not because of a relationship.

A relationship that starts as casual sex with a married (and unavailable) man means that YOU TOO are not really "in love" and on some level, you have your own issues with intimacy and relationship. Why use this affair to hold yourself back? You're divorced so it's up to you whether you want to stay "Safe" and have these impossible relationships or whether you want to go for the connection of a real full time relationship. If you want casual sex, you can always find a single person willing to be a playmate. Get your priorities straight and listen to your gut instincts to end this.